I'm posting this now even though it isn't that well written because the longer I am 'out' of the trip, the harder and harder it is going to be for me to report this- it's starting to sound crazy and funny even to me, but it was 100% real. I don't want to lose my nerve! Maybe some of this should be kept private, but I've already cleaned up and edited out a lot of the peripheral oversharing so I hope I am not going to annoy or bother anyone with my story.
trip report written 4 Feb 2017
trip Date 3 feb 300ug ¬16:20
Set/setting: Alone, at home. Several challenging things arose in the hour or so before I dosed, almost causing me to abort the mission due to the negative feels. I won't bore you with the details here but they are kind of hilarious and I'm so glad they didn't derail me.
I have 2 voice recordings, one which I will probably never share as it is too raw. The other is a pretty good description of the most intense part of the experience. When I recorded it I was probably at a level of intensity similar to the peak of my first trip, but I felt like I was 'back'- so that gives some indication of how far away I was at my apogee. I hope I remember that I have the recordings and don't delete them in the future.
The act of writing this is showing me how hard it is to grab hold of and record an experience that happens in a state that is outside words or language. I'll try because I'm sure to others who've been there it will make some clumsy sort of sense. I feel like the voice recording is better because there's one less cognitive process between the inside and the outside in speaking. Writing adds another layer of obfuscation, I'm realising now. oh well:
Put the two tabs in my mouth at about 4:20 ish. By about 5:00, 5:15 I was off to the races. All my ideas about how I was going to be able to write or think (like I had quite easily on 150ug) were blown away by the reality.
In a nutshell, I had ideas about having music ready to listen to but I'm not really a music person so I had just downloaded some random 'chillout' EDM playist from spotify. When the trip took off, I was racing against time to get some background music playing before I went and laid on my bed (the only place I wanted to be).
This is the first crazy and unbelievable thing that happened- the purple mushroom on my computer wallpaper* told me that I needed to put the Grateful Dead on NOW. Yep I know, stop laughing. So I searched up Grateful Dead on Spotify and pressed play and ran up to my bed.
What happened next was so wild and real and I can only report to you that (hahah I am laughing now) JERRY GARCIA was actually with me through the entire trip. I mean he, a human person, was literally my guide. I was not alone.
The acid and the music fused together in this magical alchemy and I was able to see and understand- not through words or metaphor but experientialy, empirically that everything is right here, all of the time. That any time I want to, or my daughters want to, all we have to do is recreate this combination of chemistry and music and we can be together in this place. Not just us but our grandmothers and daughters all throughout the lineage of mitochondrial Eve. On one hand I was able to greet Lucy (haha only now do I see why that is funny, good one, brain) on the plains of East Africa, and simultaneously through my daughters reach out to the future women yet to come.
I was literally lying on my bed sobbing and saying out loud Thank you thank you thank you Jerry (haha seriously) .The music playing was not something I was consciously aware of, it phased in and out of the story, shaping it and guiding me. Occasionally I would realise that the music was out there, separate to me (tat it wasn't part of the trip) and I would start sobbing again with gratitude to the mushroom (haha) because wiithout THIS music I do not know what would have happened to me.
There's more and it's so outside language that I won't even try- but the take home message was this simple, demonstrable daisy chain of female consciousness, from mother to daughter, in all directions, a beautiful fractal 3-d spiderweb of golden light connecting us all forever.
It doesn't fail to occur to me how odd it is that my guide through all this was a MALE, and that the music in question was of zero interest to me before the mother mushroom said 'Grateful Dead, NOW.' I can't explain it, I can only report.
* this is a photo of a beautiful purple fungus that I saw in my front yard in 2012, I'll see if I can attach it to this post because it's an important part of this non-mushroom trip, for reasons I cannot fathom.
TL; DR: I now understand the '60s
Edited by tailsmcsnails, 04 February 2017 - 08:49 AM.