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my 2nd LSD experience


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#1 tailsmcsnails

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Posted 04 February 2017 - 08:34 AM

I'm posting this now even though it isn't that well written because the longer I am 'out' of the trip, the harder and harder it is going to be for me to report this- it's starting to sound crazy and funny even to me, but it was 100% real.  I don't want to lose my nerve!  Maybe some of this should be kept private, but I've already cleaned up and edited out a lot of the peripheral oversharing so I hope I am not going to annoy or bother anyone with my story.  

 

trip report written 4 Feb 2017
 
trip Date 3 feb 300ug ¬16:20
 
Set/setting:  Alone, at home.  Several challenging things arose in the hour or so before I dosed, almost causing me to abort the mission due to the negative feels.  I won't bore you with the details here but they are kind of hilarious and I'm so glad they didn't derail me.
 
I have 2 voice recordings, one which I will probably never share as it is too raw.  The other is a pretty good description of the most intense part of the experience.  When I recorded it I was probably at a level of intensity similar to the peak of my first trip, but I felt like I was 'back'- so that gives some indication of how far away I was at my apogee.  I hope I remember that I have the recordings and don't delete them in the future.
 
The act of writing this is showing me how hard it is to grab hold of and record an experience that happens in a state that is outside words or language.  I'll try because I'm sure to others who've been there it will make some clumsy sort of sense.  I feel like the voice recording is better because there's one less cognitive process between the inside and the outside in speaking.  Writing adds another layer of obfuscation, I'm realising now.  oh well:
 
Put the two tabs in my mouth at about 4:20 ish.  By about 5:00, 5:15 I was off to the races.  All my ideas about how I was going to be able to write or think (like I had quite easily on 150ug) were blown away by the reality.  
 
In a nutshell,  I had ideas about having music ready to listen to but I'm not really a music person so I had just downloaded some random 'chillout' EDM playist from spotify.  When the trip took off, I was racing against time to get some background music playing before I went and laid on my bed (the only place I wanted to be).  
 
This is the first crazy and unbelievable thing that happened- the purple mushroom on my computer wallpaper* told me that I needed to put the Grateful Dead on NOW.  Yep I know, stop laughing.  So I searched up Grateful Dead on Spotify and pressed play and ran up to my bed.
 
What happened next was so wild and real and I can only report to you that (hahah I am laughing now) JERRY GARCIA was actually with me through the entire trip.  I mean he, a human person, was literally my guide.  I was not alone.  
 
The acid and the music fused together in this magical alchemy and I was able to see and understand- not through words or metaphor but experientialy, empirically that everything is right here, all of the time.  That any time I want to, or my daughters want to, all we have to do is recreate this combination of chemistry and music and we can be together in this place.  Not just us but our grandmothers and daughters all throughout the lineage of mitochondrial Eve.  On one hand I was able to greet Lucy (haha only now do I see why that is funny, good one, brain) on the plains of East Africa, and simultaneously through my daughters reach out to the future women yet to come.
 
I was literally lying on my bed sobbing and saying out loud Thank you thank you thank you Jerry (haha seriously) .The music playing was not something I was consciously aware of, it phased in and out of the story, shaping it and guiding me.  Occasionally I would realise that the music was out there, separate to me (tat it wasn't part of the trip) and I would start sobbing again with gratitude to the mushroom (haha) because wiithout THIS music I do not know what would have happened to me.
 
There's more and it's so outside language that I won't even try- but the take home message was this simple, demonstrable daisy chain of female consciousness, from mother to daughter, in all directions, a beautiful fractal 3-d spiderweb of golden light connecting us all forever.
 
It doesn't fail to occur to me how odd it is that my guide through all this was a MALE, and that the music in question was of zero interest to me before the mother mushroom said 'Grateful Dead, NOW.'  I can't explain it, I can only report.
 
*  this is a photo of a beautiful purple fungus that I saw in my front yard in 2012, I'll see if I can attach it to this post because it's an important part of this non-mushroom trip, for reasons I cannot fathom.
 
shrooms.jpg
 
TL; DR: I now understand the '60s 

Edited by tailsmcsnails, 04 February 2017 - 08:49 AM.

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#2 tailsmcsnails

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Posted 05 February 2017 - 05:56 PM

so since I don't think anyone's read this, I might have a little conversation with ,myself.  What I have been thinking as I deflate back into normal reality is that I have a few thoughts.

1) I'm SO grateful that I didn't get the opportunity to do this adventure until I was old.  Now is definattely the right time.  How do you spell definitely?

 

2)  I'm someone who could never meditate.  Sitting and trying to was always torture.  After a few years of struggling with it I decided to be at peace wiith it, "the world needs my monkey mind".  I used to joke that I would be able to meditate when someone took me out with a curare dart.  Well, my most recent experience was basically that curare dart.  Is it cheating?  Probably.  Do I care? nope.  Should I?  maybe.

 

3) For me, right now (standard disclaimer), drugs are not toys.  I can't imagine doing any of this stuff in a social situation, or to escape boredom.  That's really interesting because I thought it would be "fun"  and while everything has been beautiful and nothing hurt, I feel like it's SRS BUSINESS.  (again, for me, right now- I know this is different for everyone).

 

The best metaphor I can come up with is that I feel like someone convinced me to go on a hike.  I went because everyone should try hiking.  I unexpectedly found it to be life-changingly amazing and am now single mindedly focused on walking alone to antarctica and spending the winter there, alone.  hahaha.  going for short fun hikes every weekend with my friends does not interest me at all.  As a person who has been hiking like 3 times, I am probably delusional but this is how I feel right now.  It will be interesting to see how this opinion matures.


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#3 pharmer

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Posted 06 February 2017 - 04:38 AM

 Writing adds another layer of obfuscation, I'm realising now.  oh well:

 

some of my favorite lyrics  - from a Modest Mouse song     Blame it on the Tetons 

 

Language is the liquid

That we're all dissolved in

Great for solving problems

After it creates the problems

 

  

[Direct Link]

 


 

 

Sounds like you had a good time. Still in the novel phase of tripping is a very good place to be :)


Edited by pharmer, 06 February 2017 - 04:40 AM.

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#4 ChimX

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Posted 08 March 2017 - 02:01 AM

I spent most of this evening reading all of your different threads in Storming the Gates, and it was time well spent Tails.

It sounds like you've got a profound respect for psychedelics and that they, in turn, have gifted you with beautiful messages and visions that very few will ever have the opportunity to experience.

I'm of the opinion that these realms are very real and not at all some figment of the imagination. To state that we're the sole creators of the ineffable beauty and infinite grandeur witnessed on these journeys, seems an outrageously preposterous claim and is far more credit than I'm prepared to assume.

I agree entirely that timing and age, for a lot of us, makes an enormous difference in our ability to digest and accept these experiences. I'm sure there are countless young people that are much more intelligent and mature at 18, than I am now at 47. That being said, it wasn't until my late 30s that I could truly appreciate and revere these medicines as the sacred gifts that they are.

Thanks for taking the time and effort to post these reports Tails. People do read, relate and thoroughly enjoy them. It's refreshing to see someone with your courage and honesty, benefit from these medicines. It's awe inspiring to listen to someone brave enough to recount these journeys, whose dimensions often defy language. I hope you continue to do so!

Metta
-ChimX
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#5 Coopdog

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Posted 08 March 2017 - 02:58 AM

Tails, that was a beautiful experience, and I felt like I experienced it with you in more ways than one. First off before I forget, you should frame the purple mushroom picture, because it will forever hold that special connection for you and enable you to relive that experience any time you want to look at it and remember. It will be precious to you forever I suspect.

 

2nd. I have a strange spirit connection with Jerry Garcia myself and I think that your experience is just as odd in my opinion. I never cared much for the Grateful Dead, other than a few choice songs. It was very odd to me to have not one but repeated visiting dreams with Jerry. Very detailed and casual at the same time. Like sitting around playing guitar and smoking a couple of fatties. Laughing and enjoying good conversation, just like being there. I mean totally realistic good fellowship with an old friend that I have never met. Very odd dreams considering my lack of interest in the Grateful Dead. Another cool thing is that I saw an amazing street artist about this time who had some totally amazing realistic looking celebrity drawings on display. I jokingly said too bad you don't have a Jerry Garcia one. He asked if I had five minutes and drew me the most amazing picture that was like it was picked out of my memory of just how he looked just then. He also drew it from memory with no picture to go from. It hangs over my bed and he smiles down on every trip we have. I love that guy and never met him ever. (How odd is all that?)

 

Two thumbs up for jumping back in with both feet and sticking with it despite your bad first impression. I could sort of tell that  it was not entirely a bad thing when you wrote it up. Takes guts to jump back on that pony I tell ya what! Much respect and thank you VERY much for sharing it with us. Interesting stuff to me on more than one level.  EDIT: Sorry for the crappy picture quality

 

Peace and be safe and glad this all went well for you. Big hug for you for sharing this one.

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  • Jerry.jpg

Edited by Coopdog, 08 March 2017 - 03:08 AM.

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#6 Final

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Posted 08 March 2017 - 07:06 AM

awesome trip M8 . idk why  u thought needing a disclaimer on your wall paper talking to you. most psychonauts take into account that everything in some way is conscience . the things that make up your computer and power it are similar to your body ( carbon and some electricity).

 

by raw do u mean u were more less roaring or making sounds that felt like u were speaking a vastly superior language( u prolly were just "tongue" got broken when it became things like english, spanish etc, vs the Tongue sound firing out your "will" like a DBZ energy attack . ) ? or was it just too personal to share details ?

 

l8r m8



#7 tailsmcsnails

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Posted 08 March 2017 - 07:35 AM

awesome trip M8 . idk why  u thought needing a disclaimer on your wall paper talking to you. most psychonauts take into account that everything in some way is conscience . the things that make up your computer and power it are similar to your body ( carbon and some electricity).

 

by raw do u mean u were more less roaring or making sounds that felt like u were speaking a vastly superior language( u prolly were just "tongue" got broken when it became things like english, spanish etc, vs the Tongue sound firing out your "will" like a DBZ energy attack . ) ? or was it just too personal to share details ?

 

l8r m8

nah, it was me talking in english, but I was crying a lot and it would be pretty uncomfortable to share (it's hard to listen to).  And of course while it was and is real, it sounds absolutely mental to repeat it.  


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#8 Coopdog

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 02:33 AM

Wow I am amazed how little response there is to an awesome trip report like yours Tails. This used to be one of the most active categories on this site and was the main reason I kept logging in every day. You had an amazing experience and related it honestly and beautifully and only a few people commented. Seems to me this site is declining in a big way and I sure hope it picks back up sometime. I remember a day when a thread like this would have had two pages of responses by now. Kinda makes me sad in a way, but I for one really appreciated your sharing it here. So glad you got back onboard and took another journey.

 

Music is an essential part of an acid trip for us. If I go for an out of body experience with mushrooms or DMT, then silence is golden, but LSD for me is more of a beautiful recreational night of smiles love and laughter with lots of music for us. I use LSD more for lightening up a rough year than for spiritual pursuits, but I love it the best of all the substances we love here. Thanks again for sharing that awesome trip report.

 

Peace...


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#9 tailsmcsnails

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Posted 11 March 2017 - 12:31 AM

@chimx, @coopdog  I am embarrassed that I did not see or reply to your posts in this thread til now!  I only found them by accident because I was post-stalking Coopdog haha!!  Thanks both for taking the time to say what you said.  I squirm a little at exposing some of the stuff that goes on in tripland for me but I gotta!!  I waited a long time to get there, I'm not going to forget anyplace I get to visit, hell no.

 

Another layer to the Jerry Garcia weirdness Coop is that my kids have just finished watching all the episodes of The Nanny on Netrflix.  They then decided to start watching Roseanne.  Somehow they muddled up and didn't start at the beginning, and I walked in from work yesterday to them watching the episode where the spirit of Jerry Garcia coaches Roseanne through her labour with her late-in-life baby.  I had to sit down, the synchronicity nearly knocked me over.


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