Thanks so much for this. You guys are helping me in ways that you may never realize. You are actually putting me back together with your words.
I am too. But so are you. I have read many things in this thread that seal up a crack for me when I read them. With each crack sealed, I get happier. I get a little more stress and worry free. A little more of me comes back and settles in where it belongs.
It was indeed. Hate when I can't remember where I heard something.
"I want to trip again, but I really don't feel like having a... a... pyschological meltdown again. I kind of like my spirit not being shattered. I still feel timid, afraid, and scorched. Weakened. And my hold on reality has slipped. But, that is fading. It took about 3 days just to start to fade though. I feel like my grasp on the world is tightening again, finally. I think that I just may heal up from this. I just may be able to bounce back. I want to trip again, but I really don't want these after effects. I don't like feeling like I'm going insane. It isn't very much fun."
I just want to say that I totally get this, it's a great description. In a few days, if you're like me, you'll be back in consensus reality (I always want to type consensual reality- call Freud) fully.
With regard to the dissolving, recrystallising thing-each time it happens I inch a tiny bit closer to a metaphor that explains why what we're left with afterwards is more really 'me' than what I started with. Sadly psychedelics seem to say "here is everything, you don't get to keep it'.
Attachment to the stuff that falls away makes it really uncomfortable, but I'm guessing that if it falls away it isn't really me.
Anyway thanks for sharing, and you don't have to go back in there until you're ready!
Thanks for that hug. I think I may know what you're talking about, when you say that "you don't get to keep it". Some things are not for this life. Perhaps they are for a different one, or to be kept by you, at a different time. And some things, I believe, are not for mortal eyes. Best that you see them after you are dead and have become a master. I believe we all live a great many lives, and that is for a good reason. Think of how wise and knowing and powerful a soul would be, who had lived 100 times. Or 1,000 times. Few, if any, would be the mistakes that he'd make. In any and all things.
I asked this infinite consciousness (which kept saying that it was me) what the purpose of this life was. Why would anyone choose suffering like this? Knowing how hard life was going to be, before we went into this life, why would anyone ever choose to do it? It said "It is an uncomfortable experience, but a necessary one. You must do this in order for you to grow. It is to address your weaknesses."
So that's that. I guess I know the meaning of life now. At least, for me anyway. Perhaps another spirit may choose to incarnate here, for other reasons.
Moments of peacefulness in the unidentified/unattached seeing allow a rest so deep in the heart.
I experienced that too. When you see some of these things, or rather realize them when you're in the trip, you feel a rest. Like your spirit is just letting go of stress when it can see that something it was concerned with, is of no real consequence and there is no point in worrying about that or focusing any of your energy on it. That rest is very deep.