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I got what I asked for


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#21 bennylava

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Posted 23 March 2017 - 09:20 AM

Thanks so much for this. You guys are helping me in ways that you may never realize. You are actually putting me back together with your words.

 

I am too. But so are you. I have read many things in this thread that seal up a crack for me when I read them. With each crack sealed, I get happier. I get a little more stress and worry free. A little more of me comes back and settles in where it belongs.

 

 

 

 It was indeed.  Hate when I can't remember where I heard something.

 

OP said: 

"I want to trip again, but I really don't feel like having a... a... pyschological meltdown again. I kind of like my spirit not being shattered. I still feel timid, afraid, and scorched. Weakened. And my hold on reality has slipped. But, that is fading. It took about 3 days just to start to fade though. I feel like my grasp on the world is tightening again, finally. I think that I just may heal up from this. I just may be able to bounce back. I want to trip again, but I really don't want these after effects. I don't like feeling like I'm going insane. It isn't very much fun."

 

I just want to say that I totally get this, it's a great description.  In a few days, if you're like me, you'll be back in consensus reality (I always want to type consensual reality- call Freud) fully. 

 

With regard to the dissolving, recrystallising thing-each time it happens I inch a tiny bit closer to a metaphor that explains why what we're left with afterwards is more really 'me' than what I started with.  Sadly psychedelics seem to say "here is everything, you don't get to keep it'.

Attachment to the stuff that falls away makes it really uncomfortable, but I'm guessing that if it falls away it isn't really me.

 

Anyway thanks for sharing, and you don't have to go back in there until you're ready!   :hug:

.

 

 

Thanks for that hug. I think I may know what you're talking about, when you say that "you don't get to keep it". Some things are not for this life. Perhaps they are for a different one, or to be kept by you, at a different time. And some things, I believe, are not for mortal eyes. Best that you see them after you are dead and have become a master. I believe we all live a great many lives, and that is for a good reason. Think of how wise and knowing and powerful a soul would be, who had lived 100 times. Or 1,000 times. Few, if any, would be the mistakes that he'd make. In any and all things.

 

I asked this infinite consciousness (which kept saying that it was me) what the purpose of this life was. Why would anyone choose suffering like this? Knowing how hard life was going to be, before we went into this life, why would anyone ever choose to do it?  It said "It is an uncomfortable experience, but a necessary one. You must do this in order for you to grow. It is to address your weaknesses."

 

So that's that. I guess I know the meaning of life now. At least, for me anyway. Perhaps another spirit may choose to incarnate here, for other reasons.
 

 

 

 

Moments of peacefulness in the unidentified/unattached seeing allow a rest so deep in the heart. 

 

I experienced that too. When you see some of these things, or rather realize them when you're in the trip, you feel a rest. Like your spirit is just letting go of stress when it can see that something it was concerned with, is of no real consequence and there is no point in worrying about that or focusing any of your energy on it. That rest is very deep.


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#22 Alder Logs

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Posted 23 March 2017 - 10:17 AM

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#23 Coopdog

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Posted 24 March 2017 - 11:14 AM

Wow man congratulations! I think you have come through the seeing YOU part of psychedelics and seemingly grown from and learned from that experience. Next time I suspect you might just get that beautiful blissful experience. I have to wonder if maybe you got ahold of some woodlovers. Sounds almost like you got ahold of some Cyans, or ovoids which tend to be a hell of a lot stronger than cubensis. Just the duration of the experience makes me think that. I don't think I have ever been high for that long on one dose of shrooms even when it was a huge dose. 4-5 hours seems to be the duration of it for me unless I have done Cyans or ovoids or something like them.

 

Wow again man that was quite a ride. Well written also, as it drew me in and put me there and I LOVE that when I read a trip report. Thank you for sharing it with us!

 

Peace...


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#24 bennylava

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Posted 24 March 2017 - 02:21 PM

You're welcome, and I was glad to share it.

 

As for my mushrooms, I grew them myself, and they were sold to me as golden teachers. They appeared to be just standard cubes. I wanted to grow my first trip, after I heard Terrence Mckenna on art bell talking about how they can change a person's life and help with the mental illnesses that so many people suffer from. That they don't have to. I got what I asked for. It showed me that every last little problem I have, is put here by me. And that all I have to do, is basically choose my way out of it. Make choices that lead out of it.

 

Not a real hard thing to do, when you put it like that.


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#25 bennylava

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Posted 24 March 2017 - 02:52 PM

 

bennylava, on 20 Mar 2017 - 02:53 AM, said:

"You. Must. First. Know. Your. Self. Before. You. Can. Ever. Hope. To. Know. Another."

. I always found it paradoxical, that in order to achieve oneness, it is necessary to separate thinking from awareness. I suspect that your thinking met your awareness, and it was an Earth -shattering breakthrough experience.   :thumbs_up:  -Proud of ya. :meditate:

 

 

Yeah I saw that movie.

 

And yeah there was definitely some shattering going on, but unfortunately it was my sanity. But my mind is just too damn stubborn to stay that way. Maybe its too strong. I don't know. But it felt pretty scary, cause I didn't know if that feeling and that insanity just might last forever. And it was definitely insanity. For... I don't know how long... 10 seconds? 10 minutes? I was completely insane and out of my head. I lost tracks of time that I don't know how long they were. I'd pop back into reality and wonder just how long I'd actually been standing there. How long had I actually been looking at the corner of my desk. I couldn't account for where I'd been during the missing time periods.

 

Perhaps that is when someone else had control for a bit. And maybe they wanted to take a look. Perhaps not. I do not know. But I do have this odd feeling, that some helpful spirits were around and having a look at me and at things in general. I think they may have been looking at me this morning when I woke up, because I was afraid and found myself saying "I wish you guys wouldn't do that..." in regards to hanging around when I was asleep and scaring me when I'd wake up. And then I was like "Wait who am I talking to?"

 

I can still feel it in my brain, you know. Even days later. The inside of my head feels different. Its hard to describe, but it almost feels like its just... alive with energy. It could be possible that some people describe this as the "afterglow" effect. But when i think about it, I can still feel it. Its been going on for days. And almost all music (that's any good) speaks to me. I was listening to an old song and the lyrics went:

 

"I must reverse my life, I can't live in the past. And set my soul free; belong to me at last"

 

Which is pretty much the main message of my trip. This has bent reality for me. I used to think that I had a pretty good handle on things. And that things I didn't know, I could damn well find out. If I so desired. Arrogance.


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#26 Coopdog

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 01:51 AM

Man I love it. That is true realization indeed. These things DO change our thought process, sometimes long term. For me they have given me a much more empathic view of the world and my fellow human beings. They have molded and changed me into a much kinder and considerate person than who I started out as. I don't often indulge in mushrooms just because they DO change you, and I am pretty happy with the headspace I have nowadays. It is so vastly improved over the old me that it is apparent to most everyone that has known me for over the last ten years. It has been interesting and it is awesome to see someone soaking up those lessons and realizing the difference in the thinking process. Some people just do these things recreationally for years and never seem to make those realizations. Two thumbs up and applause to you for paying attention to the details and sharing them here.

 

Peace man...


Edited by Coopdog, 25 March 2017 - 01:52 AM.

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#27 bennylava

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Posted 27 March 2017 - 03:57 PM

Ok I need help. Something is... wrong. Something is fighting back. Maybe. I'm not sure what is going on, but something in me does not like this change. I get times where I feel like... well I'm not sure. Like I'm barely holding it together. I think that trip drove me over the edge of sanity, or perhaps right up to the edge. I don't know. But since the trip I have snapped into action. I broke 2 bad habits, I'm awake during the day now instead of all night, and I'm busier than I've ever been. I'm trying to turn my life around. But I keep getting these feelings. And they are scary feelings. That's probably the worst part. If they didn't scare me, I'd probably just write them off and who knows, maybe eventually they'd fade away completely.

 

The feeling as a panicky ring to it, but its like its based on a thought. Like something inside of me is broken, and I'm actually insane right now. Or maybe that I have died. Not that the last one matters, but it sure doesn't feel very good at all. Maybe that last one, is actually more accurate. Cause I know part of me did die. It was the negativity, anger, and hatred. I don't feel like myself lately. Maybe its because I lived with those negative emotions for so long? Maybe these changes I've been through (all for the better) are not supposed to take place in 1 night, and then the following few weeks, but over the course of a decade. Maybe I've rushed things, and now these feelings of panic and desperation (like I'm dying) are the result. Maybe now its time to pay the price for driving so much bad out of my life in 1 night. And then the following week.

 

Has anyone else ever had these feelings, days or weeks after a trip? It doesn't feel good. Not at all. It kind of feels like I'm actually insane, and I'm just sort of barely keeping it together. It is indeed a feeling of panic, but to me real panic seems like it has a way out. Like there is hope in embedded in the feeling of real panic. That's why people panic, because they think there is an immediate threat, and they need to respond right now in order to escape the threat. The end result of course being, that they get to escape whatever they were panicking about. Well this feeling is, that there is no escape. That I'm doomed. That at best I'm going to the mental institution, and nothing is ever going to help me and everyone will just leave me in there, and not even want to see me. And that my life will be over and what's left of it will be horrible. I know that my stress level goes way up when I'm feeling this. My heart begins beating faster. I start breathing heavier. Impending doom, and insanity seem like they are creeping up on me during the time that I get the feeling. I can feel it now, sort of. I can feel it if I think about it. But it does finally go away... sort of. After a good while. But then it finally comes back. Is this PTSD? What could this be?

 

The darkness has been driven from me, and I think I may need some of that. I may need to be able to feel hatred for no real reason. I am not sure what is going on here, but I don't feel like myself anymore. And I need help


Edited by bennylava, 27 March 2017 - 04:18 PM.

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#28 Alder Logs

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Posted 27 March 2017 - 04:41 PM

This is just an offering.   It's the offering of the possibility that there are many perspectives, and all are optional.  

 

There is the practical mind, which thinks when thinking is necessary, and can just be quietly waiting when it's not needed.  Then there is the psychological mind, which is all involved with identification as its own ideas, and its ideas are ever changing, like clouds blowing across a clear sky.   Human conditioning is to identify with a built up set of ideas, though changeable as they have ever been.   If and when some sudden shift of perspective allows the habitual idea of identity to be seen, it, the ideas, is shown to be the unstable set of notions it has always been.  But, how to see it from an impersonal point of view where its changefulness betrays its self image, which is likely about its integrity and rightness.   This can be a crisis for the identified psychological mind.  

 

A clear sudden seeing can force us to a new and better perspective, and this is good.  But, we, having lived a life from a conditioned set of ideas of identity, the trained mind will still have its habit of, and need for, identity with some idea of self.   The true position is more like just being, which is actually more akin to living naturally.  But being as nothing but being is very scary and threatening to our ideas of self, as they have ruled our identities, under the power of our belief. 

 

Can it be entertained that we have never been what we believe ourselves to be, that we simply were (are), before we ever had such notions?   We don't have to keep working so hard to be something, as it gives the mind no rest, no opportunity to just be active when it is needed for the practical side of life, for why we have a mind.  

 

So, take full advantage of the seeing that came when you got what you asked for, and stay as much as you can with just a present seeing.  You may see that all thoughts of craziness and identity are just passing.  Let them come and go and see that you are not the thoughts.  You are what can observe them.  All the weight they have will be the weight you might give them, and even this you have the ability to see.  If you can be this observer, you will start immediately to gain discernment about where you need not place your self image, and start to let your self image become more the observer, seeing without judging or an investment of identity in what's only just passing.

 

Psychedelics can be a great place for deeper vision to start.  We needn't have to go there, as they can show what's always here for us.  Don't make any rules for awareness, just let it be your own being.


Edited by Alder Logs, 27 March 2017 - 05:17 PM.

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#29 riseabovethought

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Posted 28 March 2017 - 11:29 AM

 Is this PTSD? What could this be?

 

The darkness has been driven from me, and I think I may need some of that. I may need to be able to feel hatred for no real reason. I am not sure what is going on here, but I don't feel like myself anymore. And I need help

 

It could be thought of as a form of PTSD.  It was traumatic; the experience you had.  It had to be, for it to stick.  Interestingly, the most promising drug for treating PTSD is a psychedelic; namely MDMA, but it must be combined with really good quality counseling.  Psilycibin is a VERY close alternative however, and I've found it fascinating the actual similarities in effects of all psychedlics; their obvious similarities FAR outweigh their differences.  My point is you've accomplished the same thing, with this high dose trip; a breakthrough every therapist dreams of for their patients.  Now you must go farther.  And yes, it is exactly a death, when a relationship you've settled into so comfortably is abandoned for a better improvement toward reaching one's goals before real death.  Yes, it is urgent, to do what you can before you... cant anymore.  

 

I am reminded of my ibogaine experiences; the heart beats so fast, faster and faster, panic is full blown, I thought I'd die for sure too...but I didnt.  Another similarity with your breakthrough- was I had actual workers in my brain working on me too.  At one point, they found something wrong.  They said I was missing my flaps or they were broken; anyway I needed new flaps.  They repaired em and replaced em or whatever and worked on my brain awhile, and presto whamo- Brand new flaps buddy!  Woo hoo.  I suppose I can fly better through the stars now.  But I faced it down, and one thing I've noticed about people who've stared down death, is they are the only people I know who live life to the fullest.  Every second, because they actually know how fragile it is, how urgent it is.  So do you now.  

I have 2 suggestions.  Look into peoples' eyes and try to see yourself in there.  Even your enemies or people who you dont necessarily like; look deep into their eyes (not in a creepy way) and try to see yourself.  It will help you see that you are also in there, and even our enemies see some things the same way we do.  

 

#2; Imagine if you had really good quality therapy right now, fresh after your experience.  What accomplishes you would make toward bettering yourself.  If you can, seek it out, or find what you can of it here.  i think we do a pretty good job, from our related perspective, but this type of treatment is th emost promising for treating PTSD, OCD, Anxiety, Depression, & Addiction.  We are the guinea pigs, and you are not dying.  You are expanding your consciousness, and the faster you do it, the more growing pains one has.  Its so good it stuck though, because its your best chance at really correcting those things, walls have been broken down, and you are moving beyond your old self.  Those bad relationships have died, and may they rot in peace.  Take back your power. :chucks:  


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#30 Guy1298

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Posted 28 March 2017 - 09:24 PM

I felt like I was going insane a few times in the course of my use. Loving-kindness meditation helped me with the fear. 

 

Here's a list of my past difficulties, which were difficulties for about a full year (some lingered into a second year too): I got really afraid of the dark and wouldn't sleep with the lights off. Had intense real feeling nightmares that scared the hell out of me. Would wake covered in sweat many nights. Fell into dream/trance states just lying down focusing on my breath which scared the hell out of me. Would sometimes wake up in a state of panic, look at things around me as though they were falling apart. Had a lot of stress over visual changes (HPPD, possibly). Looking into darkness and when closing my eyes my mind was very expectant that things would go a bit crazy or I'd imagine something insane which would scare me, or something. 

 

It was a pretty difficult time in my life. I didn't have a trip like you did though. My initial trips brought me into pure fear and left me a bit fucked up afterwards (my fault), but they weren't a direct encounter with anything like that.

 

But, I think you can overcome feeling like you're going insane. I suspect most people here have felt like that at some point. Meditation worked for me. Look for what works for you. :). I'm sure you'll be all right. 


Edited by Guy1298, 28 March 2017 - 09:35 PM.

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#31 bennylava

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Posted 29 March 2017 - 08:47 AM

Yes just meditating a little bit helps. Also some very calming music also helps. But I did discover something a bit odd. I've been listening to a motivational speaker named Brian Tracey. He isn't some hack, he's a very wise man. And he said that the more you like yourself, the more others will like you. He went into explanations of why people don't like themselves, and at the end he said that you need to be saying "I like myself" every day, multiple times a day. That it really builds you up. Just saying it to yourself in your head, or maybe aloud when people aren't around lol.

 

Anyway, I tried it. And, it worked. However, I think that I have narrowed down what causes the insanity feeling that scares me. It could be related to me saying "I like myself" and building myself up. Because now when I say it, the feeling starts coming on. And the more I say it, the stronger the feeling gets. Even to the point where I can almost feel myself getting a sick. So I stopped saying it to myself, for now. Gonna put more time and distance between me and the trip. Something doesn't like me to like myself. At least, that's all I can figure.

 

Because I've been saying that to myself, in order to help me turn things around. And you know, it really does work. When you say that to yourself, it starts to make you feel better about yourself and your self esteem and just everything about you starts to climb upwards. I've been saying it, and I know that a few times, that is when the insanity feeling would start to come on.


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#32 Alder Logs

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Posted 29 March 2017 - 09:07 AM

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This is just about how fast the mental state works.   The tinted glasses are the ideas we have about our identity.  We are not, and have never been, these ideas.  But we believe in the ideas, consciously, and subconsciously.   Our repeated words could be outweighed by someone else's words, a peer, a parent, a sibling, whoever.  Words, ideas, parts of our stories of who we believe we are, arisen from a believed in past.  No real past exists.  Maybe we have to know it's insane to think we are the words, and something in us demands the truth of what's now, which can have no description in terms of language and judgment.  All we can have in truth, in this present, is being.  And every second of present being is freedom from the ideas of identity.  But the second that one set of tinted glasses comes off, the identified psychological mind can produce a new version, in a very similar tint.  The choice becomes to simply be, or be something.  Our seeing can be clear, or through the dark lens.


Edited by Alder Logs, 29 March 2017 - 09:09 AM.

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#33 riseabovethought

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Posted 29 March 2017 - 12:41 PM

Move from having to doing to being.  I think Im in the doing phase, while Alder is in the being phase.  Must be nice.  I'll get there though, if I could just get detached more.  This place pisses me off so much on a daily basis, my rage alone keeps me glued to what I might be able to do about it.  Alder can reject all that, and while he cares whats happening around him, he isnt necessarily moved to do anything more than watch and enjoy the show.  I'd like that kind of freedom, but I still ...must.. do something!  I'll shed that skin one day.  Thats what you've done; you shed that old snake skin, and it hurts a little.    


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#34 Alder Logs

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Posted 29 March 2017 - 12:51 PM

When the identity is that of the doer, that of a noun, that identity is false.  In being, it is ever as the verb.   If you would watch to see that doer, which is done in the presence of being, knowing yourself as the being, you can see the doer is but a believed in illusion.   No doer truly exists.  It's our made up notion of a 'me.'  Yet in the being, activities and awareness never stop.  Actions take place in being, but without identification as some doer.    

 

The Sage does nothing, and in doing nothing, accomplishes everything.  (Or something like that.)

~Lao Tzu

 

 

 

It's an exercise of subtlety.  It is seeing what already is.  We are there ahead of the tinted lenses that change every instant.  The honest seeing has no identity.   Identity corrupts the seeing by making us believe there is a personal seer.

 

Freedom is what you are, not something you fight for.

~Mooji


Edited by Alder Logs, 29 March 2017 - 01:00 PM.

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#35 Guy1298

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Posted 29 March 2017 - 05:58 PM

Yeah, loving-kindness meditation starts with wishing yourself to be happy and at ease, then you move on to everyone else in the world gradually; so pretty similar. A monk I knew suggested using it to overcome fear. 

 

This is actually probably why I've been having such a hard time with trips lately. Very little loving-kindness. Haha. Back when I was an isolated undergrad tripping weekly, I wouldn't trip without doing an hour of loving-kindness meditation beforehand. Haha. I was a crazy guy. 

 

When I was in Peru, my feelings of compassion were at an all time high, such that even if I imagined or encountered a demon I would be thinking to myself, "May this demon be happy." Crazy times. But, that's how I stopped being afraid back then. 

 

I wouldn't abandon thinking positive thoughts about yourself and others. But, do what feels right. Our minds are tricky. 


Edited by Guy1298, 29 March 2017 - 06:00 PM.

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#36 bennylava

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Posted 30 March 2017 - 09:48 AM

Yeah, loving-kindness meditation starts with wishing yourself to be happy and at ease, then you move on to everyone else in the world gradually; so pretty similar. A monk I knew suggested using it to overcome fear. 

 

This is actually probably why I've been having such a hard time with trips lately. Very little loving-kindness. Haha. Back when I was an isolated undergrad tripping weekly, I wouldn't trip without doing an hour of loving-kindness meditation beforehand. Haha. I was a crazy guy. 

 

When I was in Peru, my feelings of compassion were at an all time high, such that even if I imagined or encountered a demon I would be thinking to myself, "May this demon be happy." Crazy times. But, that's how I stopped being afraid back then. 

 

I wouldn't abandon thinking positive thoughts about yourself and others. But, do what feels right. Our minds are tricky. 

 

 

 

I am beginning to think that our minds are so tricky because we're sort of a filtered down version of our real selves. When we die and are in the spirit world, maybe that changes. But when we are here having this human experience, we don't get the full understanding and control of our minds. And thus, they seem like tricky things. I think we don't have full control, and are so limited as human beings, because that is how it needs to be for this experience to be done properly. During my trip, when I finally accepted the fact that it was me who must change things, that it could only be me who could turn it all around, I looked upon all of my past failures and said "What if I'm too weak? What if I can't do it?" and it said something like "If you were any stronger, this wouldn't be a good place for you to live". In other words, if we were but a bit more powerful, and had just a bit more understanding and control of our real selves, we'd be too much for this environment.

 

So the answer was a resounding no. The answer was: That's no excuse, because its false. You are far from too weak. And it said that if I even just used my voice, that alone would be enough to turn it all around. Just talking. Talking to others, and oddly enough, also to myself. 

 

So such a mind would seem a tricky thing, if the one attempting to deal with it were in somewhat reduced state, as we are.

 

 

As for the demon, I still would feel some compassion for such a spirit. I'd want him to turn his life around. Although after this trip, I am wondering if such entities even exist. Because after all, if they did, you could just cast them into an experience like this (human) and it would probably wake them up. Eventually.


Edited by bennylava, 30 March 2017 - 09:54 AM.

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#37 Alder Logs

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Posted 30 March 2017 - 10:52 AM

 

So such a mind would seem a tricky thing, if the one attempting to deal with it were in somewhat reduced state, as we are.

 

How, in what form, is the one who is attempting to deal identified?   Could the limiting of we human beings be in the way we identify?  We might rightfully say we have a mind, but act as though we are the mind.  We can't be the mind, having a mind.   The identification with a story of personal mind becomes the ever repeating dark glasses.   We will meet everything in this life through our conditional, momentary, idea of self, and its idea a "real self" becomes a goal for our imagined self. 

 

So yes, the power is there, willing to believe in weakness.  How to step into an awareness that is able to be the clear seeing, before the dark lens?  Hold the question, "who am I?"   Watch that mental state work, but not as the mental state, but as that which sees it, or more accurately, as the seeing itself, within presence.   In full honesty, it is all seen, even as the mental state is claiming it as itself, in its habitual identifying. 

 

It can be frightening when in identification to see what is the seeing, as it has no other attributes that the made up identity can claim.  The thing we've been busy all our lives trying to be gets outed as no more than a story.   All "our" accomplishments, our pride and/or shame in them, attach to nothing of substance, a waking ego death; not the party the ego wishes to attend.  But what fun for the true Self, to at last know such freedom.  

 

Every time we then see the glasses come back on, their power to shade full awareness weakens.  It just happens in the seeing.



#38 Coopdog

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Posted 30 March 2017 - 01:19 PM

It sounds as if you have undergone a full blown Kundalini event. It sounds very much like my own. I thought I had lost my mind, as peace and love was not in any way my mindset before. It all changed in an instant. I recently bumped my Kundalini experience thread up here in Storming the Gates for Tails Mcsnails to read, so it you go into storming the gates it should be in the top dozen or so threads.

 

If I had not been practicing Chakra meditation and researching these things I would have indeed driven myself to the nearest mental hospital and told them I have had a psychotic break and checked myself in. Instead I called my old teacher and told him what had happened. His advice was to ride it out, and if I have a huge crash and find myself in a depressive state then I could consider getting on some meds. As it was I could not medicate that positive state away, despite my misgivings that it could indeed be a psychotic break. If it was it was a much improved version of myself, so why consider changing it? Now it's years later, and I am still riding that wave and very happy for all of it. Try to stop doubting yourself as long as you are in a positive place.

 

Peace...


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#39 bennylava

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Posted 31 March 2017 - 12:34 PM

Yeah somehow I knew what was coming. I guess I'd read enough, and knew enough about how bad my life had gotten to know what was probably going to happen. That, and I was asking for it. I wrote down all my goals for the trip. That type of experience was one of the goals. I went back and read them a few days later, and there were 5 goals. Every one of them was accomplished in that trip.

 

I found a video that I think pretty closely relates a lot of what happened in the most difficult part of my trip. At least its the best I can do in that regard. The impending doom was nothing compared to this. Start at 1:06 in the vid, as the rest before that isn't really relevant. I had much the same experience as the pink Buu character, even the heavy breathing towards the end. All the pain and rage was the same. I was screaming so loud that I could hear this old metal keg in my room resonating with the noise. When the noise from the screaming would die down, I could hear the keg going "Hhhmmmm..." I do not ever want to go back there. It hurt. Really bad. (start at 1:06)

 

[Direct Link]


Edited by bennylava, 31 March 2017 - 12:37 PM.


#40 tailsmcsnails

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Posted 09 April 2017 - 06:15 AM

it's been a week, how are you doing?


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