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Wasn't My gate to storm; i need advice plz


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#1 whirledpeas

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Posted 08 October 2017 - 02:16 AM

I apologize first because i am writing this so tired.. terribly active day. .. But i do need advice for tomorrow hopefully, cause i did feel over my head Friday afternoon.   

 

In short, i know a woman who has some issues with hair loss and serious anxiety. She had been under medical care a few times but found very little help in medical and cognitive therapy.   She has spoke with me about Shrooms... I do not sell, nor advocate them, at all. In fact i have told people that i only had a failed grow experience. BUT she is reclusive, and it's a long story... ANYWAY so she wanted like too many. 

I talked her into maybe trying half of what she wanted (i know the product i grew it). She did agree but since she is all alone, i asked her to maybe stay here (as i said this is not a sell.. AND i have benadryl and Epi at home so i would just keep an eye out in case of any reaction). ... So she made herself comfortable in my room and i went about my business cleaning at home for my sons arrival back home (which was today). 

 

Not far into this (maybe 30 mins) she goes fast into my bathroom and it sounds like she is maybe throwing up. I came to the door and asked if she was okay... was she throwing up?... she said "no but i feel like i need to.".... her eyes looked weird.. so i told her "maybe you need to." And that was all for a little while.. I did peek in as i thought i could hear her maybe cry--her eyes closed but a grimace on her face and rocking  on the floor. 

So i went about my stuff i was doing, but i kept the door open a little so i could hear. But i didn't want to intrude.

 

About an hour went by... then, i heard her say "No..nooooo no" i opened the door... her, still by the toilet on the floor rocking, she said "I don't want to throw up.. i just dont want to" and she was pushing back on her stomach... I said "Maybe you need to just do it and let that shit go so you can move on hon." ..... She said "Nooo you don't understand i just can't!"... so i said "well it is up to you, not me, you need to do what you are comfortable with." and i left the bathroom.

 

So, feeling helpless i actually looked back on my drying friends and said in my head "i don't know what to do".... in my head i hear like, she is just struggling within herself and the anxiety was moved to her stomach.  She is having to choose if she was really ready to to let it go.  Nothing you can do.... Maybe my own thought but it FELT like it was outside coming in, who knows. 

 

SO this went on... really pretty long. After while she came out and went into my room and laid in the dark for very long time.  .... Late she came out and looked very calm and quiet.    She said "i had to think about what happened.." then said that shortly after taking the shrooms she went quickly into a 'trip'. She said she flt like she could see her father (who she hadn;t seen since she was a child)... then said she felt the anxiety return as well as strong feeling to vomit... said while she was in the bathroom she only felt half in this dimension,. but that something was there, an moved her anxiety to her stomach and told her to get rid of it to begin to heal. But she was afraid... she said finally she said to whatever was there "i am sorry, maybe next time but i am not ready for this"... she said at that point she felt the urge to vomit leave her body so she went to the bedroom where she then felt like she was going into a state of "non existence".. but was fighting to keep herself exist in tact. She said it was dark, but she felt protected. 

 

She apologized to me before leaving saying "i am sorry, i feel like these things were trying to really help me but i am just not ready, i feel so bad about this."..... I told her it is to assist, not to judge, judging is what people do, not plants. 

Told her to maybe consider it like the Matrix... the agents put a bug in her, and the shrooms were just trying to search it out.

 

So she said she would think about it, and that was it.

 

Then TODAY she came back.... said "i was looking on line and i don't see anywhere where shrooms make people vomit for healing.".............i said "well are you doing your healing or everyone else's?"

and i just started doing my thing cause i was busy, i am not going to convince anyone... i am not the one knocking on anyone's door here.

So then few minutes later she apologized and said she thinks she is ready and asked to try again. 

 

But i thought i would get advice this time. I am not in the business to facilitate these things. I don't know about throwing up or not throwing up. What's "normal" or "not normal", i just let these things be what they will be.

 

She's a nice woman, but she is a scared woman... quiet spoken thing but she is always second guessing everything. 

 

I  am not sure what to do tomorrow. let her give another go, or just tell her  to wait? i don't have anyone here i can trust to consult or who knows better.

I don't have words of wisdom myself. I just try and trust the process and be open.

 

Thank you <3


Edited by camirae, 08 October 2017 - 02:24 AM.

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#2 Spooner

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Posted 08 October 2017 - 06:13 AM

Fear and second guesses are not places I have found useful as starting spots for my mushroom consumption.

 

 


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#3 TVCasualty

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Posted 08 October 2017 - 09:33 AM

That sounds exactly like what I've taken to calling the "no man's land" of doses (or woman's).

 

It's that level where the typical sense of self one has while in consensus-reality is almost (but not quite) shattered. It still has a few fingers tenaciously clutching the proverbial steering wheel, trying to remain 'in control.'

 

But that is at odds with one's manifest Intent to let go of the wheel and be a witness to the journey into inner-space we were seeking (we manifest our Intent to do that by eating the mushrooms just like we manifest our Intent to numb our awareness by taking other classes of drugs).

 

The tension of our consciousness being stretched between the opposing directions seems to give rise to these kinds of trips. In my experience, I've accidentally found that by going either higher or lower in dosage they can generally be avoided (assuming a suitable setting). Going higher, there's simply no holding on to the wheel at all so that tension doesn't become an issue. Going lower, we're not confronted by an intense enough experience to inspire existential terror of losing control or whatever.

 

And I've taken 6+ gram doses while in terrible states of mind (pre-soaked in lime juice, which boosts the potency but shortens the duration, and pretty much eliminates nausea in the vast majority of cases), but by the end of such trips I was laughing like a madman again, at both myself and the inherent lunacy of existence (and partly at my own anxiety about taking such a dose; thoughts like "I was worried about this?!? This is what makes all the crap in life worth putting up with!" are a real nice way to end a trip, especially one taken during dark times). I suspect that this avoidance of mid-range doses is especially important when we're not in a good place and trying to find out why. Mushrooms seem to respect (and reward) total commitment, both in terms of tripping on them and growing them. We state our Intent to commit to change by eating a dose that we know will take (and keep) our hands off the wheel for a while.

 

 

When contemplating having such an experience, it might help to ask oneself "Am I willing to die to get the answers I seek?" If not, don't proceed. Because that's what we're basically doing, albeit only for a few hours.

 

 

FWIW, in Central Mexico (where these mushrooms found their way back into Western consciousness) the shamans don't use mushrooms for healing. They are more of a divinatory tool to find out what it is wrong, or that needs to be healed. And when they show us, we'd best thank them (even if it was a hellish night) and work on what we were shown before we go back; in my experience when I don't do my mushroom "homework" they tend to spank me in a very unpleasant way the next time I trip. One such trip made me get in my car (two days later) and drive about 1200 miles to knock on my parent's door unannounced (boy were they surprised!) and reconnect with my father. We were estranged big-time until I did so, and the rewards from doing so were vast, including rebuilding a good relationship with him with no regrets of things left unsaid when he died.

 

Perhaps your friend was given a similar homework assignment?


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#4 jkdeth

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Posted 08 October 2017 - 12:08 PM

Purging as a spiritual/emotional tool is not uncommon. Its unusual to hear about on a mushroom trips, but its a common part of an ayahuasca ceremony. I've also heard reports of it from amanita muscaria and even excessive alcohol consumption.
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#5 whirledpeas

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Posted 08 October 2017 - 01:38 PM

I appreciate all these responses Thank you.

 

Just going to shelve this for today/. Already told her maybe another day. i'm just too tired and headachey today to sit with anyone, or talk about stuff. 

 

I could just hand them to her and say good luck, BUT when someone doesn't fully trust these, and has emotional issues.... and if they go off weird in this small place, i don't need my name involved or any more trouble than we already have.


Edited by camirae, 08 October 2017 - 01:39 PM.


#6 whirledpeas

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Posted 08 October 2017 - 01:39 PM

That sounds exactly like what I've taken to calling the "no man's land" of doses (or woman's).

 

It's that level where the typical sense of self one has while in consensus-reality is almost (but not quite) shattered. It still has a few fingers tenaciously clutching the proverbial steering wheel, trying to remain 'in control.'

 

But that is at odds with one's manifest Intent to let go of the wheel and be a witness to the journey into inner-space we were seeking (we manifest our Intent to do that by eating the mushrooms just like we manifest our Intent to numb our awareness by taking other classes of drugs).

 

The tension of our consciousness being stretched between the opposing directions seems to give rise to these kinds of trips. In my experience, I've accidentally found that by going either higher or lower in dosage they can generally be avoided (assuming a suitable setting). Going higher, there's simply no holding on to the wheel at all so that tension doesn't become an issue. Going lower, we're not confronted by an intense enough experience to inspire existential terror of losing control or whatever.

 

And I've taken 6+ gram doses while in terrible states of mind (pre-soaked in lime juice, which boosts the potency but shortens the duration, and pretty much eliminates nausea in the vast majority of cases), but by the end of such trips I was laughing like a madman again, at both myself and the inherent lunacy of existence (and partly at my own anxiety about taking such a dose; thoughts like "I was worried about this?!? This is what makes all the crap in life worth putting up with!" are a real nice way to end a trip, especially one taken during dark times). I suspect that this avoidance of mid-range doses is especially important when we're not in a good place and trying to find out why. Mushrooms seem to respect (and reward) total commitment, both in terms of tripping on them and growing them. We state our Intent to commit to change by eating a dose that we know will take (and keep) our hands off the wheel for a while.

 

 

When contemplating having such an experience, it might help to ask oneself "Am I willing to die to get the answers I seek?" If not, don't proceed. Because that's what we're basically doing, albeit only for a few hours.

 

 

FWIW, in Central Mexico (where these mushrooms found their way back into Western consciousness) the shamans don't use mushrooms for healing. They are more of a divinatory tool to find out what it is wrong, or that needs to be healed. And when they show us, we'd best thank them (even if it was a hellish night) and work on what we were shown before we go back; in my experience when I don't do my mushroom "homework" they tend to spank me in a very unpleasant way the next time I trip. One such trip made me get in my car (two days later) and drive about 1200 miles to knock on my parent's door unannounced (boy were they surprised!) and reconnect with my father. We were estranged big-time until I did so, and the rewards from doing so were vast, including rebuilding a good relationship with him with no regrets of things left unsaid when he died.

 

Perhaps your friend was given a similar homework assignment?

 

This is excellent really. Thank you


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#7 fungi2bwith

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Posted 09 October 2017 - 09:39 AM

Did you change your handle?


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#8 whirledpeas

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Posted 09 October 2017 - 02:02 PM

Did you change your handle?

 

yes i did... anyone can look and see our posts. I don't want my real name to the public. :)

snoopy people w/too much time on their hands.


Edited by whirledpeas, 09 October 2017 - 02:03 PM.


#9 Coopdog

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Posted 09 October 2017 - 03:39 PM

I have had that issue too, where I had been a little too relaxed in what I said with my name attached. That can get stressful. As to your situation with the friend, there are a lot of things to consider, and none of them good. I tend to be known as the healer type, and I have had people approach me about such things. After having a couple of rather negative experiences trying to help others along, I would just tell them to go to youtube and look up PF Tek and go from there. The problem with helping people have these life changing experiences is that they need to go deep to have them. Sometimes people can get loud when they think they are dying. I live in a place where you can get pretty loud and not attract much attention, but in any sort of urban setting this could prove disastrous if the police or even the paramedics get involved. Especially if one is the type to maybe have some more growing or a nice supply set aside for a rainy day.

 

Your friend sounds like the worst personality type for tripping hard as well. I have pleaded ignorance or straight up said no when someone like that is involved. I can almost tell in a relatively short time if someone would be ok tripping or not, and people that worry and over analyze everything are not the best for that. Good luck and safe journeys no matter what you decide to do.

 

Peace...


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#10 Guy1298

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Posted 09 October 2017 - 11:21 PM

I try not to give other people mushrooms. Trying to keep that as a rule. 

 

Most times I share, it's just not the right scenario or person. 


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#11 tailsmcsnails

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Posted 10 October 2017 - 05:18 AM

You know, I would tell her that they're easy to grow, all the info she needs is online-and leave her to it. If she's a blamer and a second-guesser, it all needs to be 100% her responsibility, and ultimately her journey.
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#12 whirledpeas

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Posted 10 October 2017 - 06:47 AM

Thank you for the input :) I appreciate it very much,,,

 

i decided to give her a go again tho. She's young, being bogged down like this is ridiculous when life CAN open up. .... I don't think everyone is easy or going to just run into an experience that is so foreign to them, even if it is something they want.   People who need it the most may not be the easiest people. 

This society everyone is in fear all the time... it is conditioned, may be able to recondition.

 

I trust these things. I grew them from a speck of dust,  and they had a lot of love.. an good music played for them and they are responsive consciousness. 

So i decided to go ahead and trust that they will do what they need to do , and that after reflection she will too. We had a talk about this... it's not like these were made in a bathtub... they are conscious beings with a purpose. :)


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#13 fungi2bwith

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Posted 10 October 2017 - 09:56 AM

 

Did you change your handle?

 

yes i did... anyone can look and see our posts. I don't want my real name to the public. :)

snoopy people w/too much time on their hands.

 

 

 

Once you quit doing illegal things, it won't really matter.....That's why I openly post my location and whatnot, cuz I've since put everything up into storage. And when you are trying to fight the system, it's better not to have mushrooms in the closet, so to say.....


Edited by fungi2bwith, 10 October 2017 - 09:57 AM.

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#14 whirledpeas

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Posted 10 October 2017 - 03:21 PM

 

 

Did you change your handle?

 

yes i did... anyone can look and see our posts. I don't want my real name to the public. :)

snoopy people w/too much time on their hands.

 

 

 

Once you quit doing illegal things, it won't really matter.....That's why I openly post my location and whatnot, cuz I've since put everything up into storage. And when you are trying to fight the system, it's better not to have mushrooms in the closet, so to say.....

 

 

:o i am not doing anything "illegal". Really i think it's a serious misdemeanor where i live.  not like i am drinking and driving or something.   But what i have most of is soaking weeds, and ginger root, lavendar etc. 

 

My main concern for my change is snooping kids and employers and i am talking about my employers here. They are a holes. I worry much more about this Kratom drama going on than anything else :/ (which was my feeling compelled to name change as a comment was made to me by a co worker which indicated something i wasn't comfortable with),,,,, small town community and they are ass backwards and i am here talking about aliens, my employer and sh*t. :/ 

 

But i hear ya :) :) take care and thank you Fungi2bwith <3


Edited by whirledpeas, 10 October 2017 - 03:24 PM.

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#15 PinkMenace

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 07:43 PM

By the sounds of it, she needs someone with mental health training, and without that training you put yourself and her at risk. You obviously care about her and doing nothing may be hard, but it may be what's best for both of you. Maybe just say "I'm sorry, I love you but I feel under qualified to be a trip sitter".

I am also speaking as someone who tried to be another person's mental health professional and it cost me a year of my life and worse.
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