I apologize first because i am writing this so tired.. terribly active day. .. But i do need advice for tomorrow hopefully, cause i did feel over my head Friday afternoon.
In short, i know a woman who has some issues with hair loss and serious anxiety. She had been under medical care a few times but found very little help in medical and cognitive therapy. She has spoke with me about Shrooms... I do not sell, nor advocate them, at all. In fact i have told people that i only had a failed grow experience. BUT she is reclusive, and it's a long story... ANYWAY so she wanted like too many.
I talked her into maybe trying half of what she wanted (i know the product i grew it). She did agree but since she is all alone, i asked her to maybe stay here (as i said this is not a sell.. AND i have benadryl and Epi at home so i would just keep an eye out in case of any reaction). ... So she made herself comfortable in my room and i went about my business cleaning at home for my sons arrival back home (which was today).
Not far into this (maybe 30 mins) she goes fast into my bathroom and it sounds like she is maybe throwing up. I came to the door and asked if she was okay... was she throwing up?... she said "no but i feel like i need to.".... her eyes looked weird.. so i told her "maybe you need to." And that was all for a little while.. I did peek in as i thought i could hear her maybe cry--her eyes closed but a grimace on her face and rocking on the floor.
So i went about my stuff i was doing, but i kept the door open a little so i could hear. But i didn't want to intrude.
About an hour went by... then, i heard her say "No..nooooo no" i opened the door... her, still by the toilet on the floor rocking, she said "I don't want to throw up.. i just dont want to" and she was pushing back on her stomach... I said "Maybe you need to just do it and let that shit go so you can move on hon." ..... She said "Nooo you don't understand i just can't!"... so i said "well it is up to you, not me, you need to do what you are comfortable with." and i left the bathroom.
So, feeling helpless i actually looked back on my drying friends and said in my head "i don't know what to do".... in my head i hear like, she is just struggling within herself and the anxiety was moved to her stomach. She is having to choose if she was really ready to to let it go. Nothing you can do.... Maybe my own thought but it FELT like it was outside coming in, who knows.
SO this went on... really pretty long. After while she came out and went into my room and laid in the dark for very long time. .... Late she came out and looked very calm and quiet. She said "i had to think about what happened.." then said that shortly after taking the shrooms she went quickly into a 'trip'. She said she flt like she could see her father (who she hadn;t seen since she was a child)... then said she felt the anxiety return as well as strong feeling to vomit... said while she was in the bathroom she only felt half in this dimension,. but that something was there, an moved her anxiety to her stomach and told her to get rid of it to begin to heal. But she was afraid... she said finally she said to whatever was there "i am sorry, maybe next time but i am not ready for this"... she said at that point she felt the urge to vomit leave her body so she went to the bedroom where she then felt like she was going into a state of "non existence".. but was fighting to keep herself exist in tact. She said it was dark, but she felt protected.
She apologized to me before leaving saying "i am sorry, i feel like these things were trying to really help me but i am just not ready, i feel so bad about this."..... I told her it is to assist, not to judge, judging is what people do, not plants.
Told her to maybe consider it like the Matrix... the agents put a bug in her, and the shrooms were just trying to search it out.
So she said she would think about it, and that was it.
Then TODAY she came back.... said "i was looking on line and i don't see anywhere where shrooms make people vomit for healing.".............i said "well are you doing your healing or everyone else's?"
and i just started doing my thing cause i was busy, i am not going to convince anyone... i am not the one knocking on anyone's door here.
So then few minutes later she apologized and said she thinks she is ready and asked to try again.
But i thought i would get advice this time. I am not in the business to facilitate these things. I don't know about throwing up or not throwing up. What's "normal" or "not normal", i just let these things be what they will be.
She's a nice woman, but she is a scared woman... quiet spoken thing but she is always second guessing everything.
I am not sure what to do tomorrow. let her give another go, or just tell her to wait? i don't have anyone here i can trust to consult or who knows better.
I don't have words of wisdom myself. I just try and trust the process and be open.
Thank you <3
Edited by camirae, 08 October 2017 - 02:24 AM.