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Not just anyone can light their farts! Humanity is at a crossroads.


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#1 OysterFarmer

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Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:18 PM

"So far, only three microbes have been identified as methane producers (methanogens) in humans: Methaniobrevibacter smithii, Methanospaera stadmagnae and Methannobrevibacter oralis.

 

Furthermore if you delve deeply into this subject as I have you start to see that in all likelihood the ability to produce combustible farts is probably genetic.

 

I am proud to say that I am in that proud minority of people who can and have lit their farts.  Furthermore I need very little provocation to do so.

 

So where are we at as a species?  Is this something that should be included on the genetic screens we do for our children and potential mates?  "I can't date you until we go to taco bell and pick up some bic lighters.  Its just how it is".  Personally I'd prefer a mate with flamable flatulence in case we did want to procreate.  I think any man worth his salt would want kids who could light their farts.  Can you imagine the shame being the only one in the treehouse who can't burn farts as Frank Zappa put it?  I woldn't want to be that kid.

 

http://www.todayifou...lammable-farts/

 

 



#2 Skywatcher

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Posted 28 December 2017 - 07:28 PM

I do believe Hydrogen is equally flammable, and anyone who eats hard boiled eggs will testify they produce hydrogen sulfide, whether or not they test the flammability.

 

In my studies, conducted usually with the use of intoxicants, and gas producing food items, I have never found a fart that could not be ignited.

This study was conducted over years, with a minimum of 17 test subjects, male and female, all of which were able to produce flammable farts......

 

I believe your genetic inheritance is likely guaranteed ..................

 

post-126525-0-38920300-1514506731.jpg

 

flame fart.jpg


Edited by Skywatcher, 28 December 2017 - 07:29 PM.

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#3 Juthro

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Posted 28 December 2017 - 07:46 PM

The ability to create methane is a genetic trait, but like Skye said, we all make hydrogen.

So I guess it comes down to weather or not you make blue tinted flames, or yellow....
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#4 OysterFarmer

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Posted 28 December 2017 - 08:03 PM

The ability to create methane is a genetic trait, but like Skye said, we all make hydrogen.

So I guess it comes down to weather or not you make blue tinted flames, or yellow....

Apparently further research is needed.  I wonder if I can get a grant for this.


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#5 CatsAndBats

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Posted 28 December 2017 - 08:26 PM

I fart neon gas, sooooooooo



#6 coorsmikey

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Posted 28 December 2017 - 09:05 PM

The ability to create methane is a genetic trait, but like Skye said, we all make hydrogen.So I guess it comes down to weather or not you make blue tinted flames, or yellow....

My flames are always predominantly blue with yellow tips. Does that mean they are hydrogen?
No matter how immature it may be to perform that actual action of lighting a fart on fire. It’s is always funny even though it is fucking disgusting. I laugh so hard it makes my ribs hurt. Well all know that laughter is good for us!

Edited by coorsmikey, 28 December 2017 - 09:05 PM.

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#7 Juthro

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Posted 28 December 2017 - 09:13 PM

The blue flame comes from the methane.

Hydrogen sulfide burns with a yellow flame.

Sounds like you were supplying a mixed gas Mikey :)

#8 Alder Logs

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Posted 28 December 2017 - 11:01 PM

I fart neon gas, sooooooooo

 

So, I would say, let's get a good strong ballast and mount an electrode either side of your bung, Catz.   Should be purdy.    We could hang you up over the bar as a Lone Star Beer sign. 


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#9 onediadem

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Posted 28 December 2017 - 11:41 PM

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

 

 

 

*Rolls eyes. Men.

 

 

:laugh:


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#10 firerat

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Posted 29 December 2017 - 07:55 AM

I can indeed light my farts.

 

I can also set the jungle that is my under carriage on fire.

 

I'm multi talented. 


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#11 CatsAndBats

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Posted 29 December 2017 - 09:39 AM

 

I fart neon gas, sooooooooo

 

So, I would say, let's get a good strong ballast and mount an electrode either side of your bung, Catz.   Should be purdy.    We could hang you up over the bar as a Lone Star Beer sign. 

 

 

 

I would be honored. God bless Texas!

 

gallery_147940_1513_15552.jpg



#12 pharmer

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Posted 29 December 2017 - 10:20 AM

Old people will remember "fringing" their bluejeans and jeans shorts. Fringing was to cut the bottom half inch off the end of the pant leg and tease the fibres out into a half inch long fuzzy fringe.

 

The first time I saw a fart lit was in college. The test subject was wearing shorts with the fringed legs.

 

The ignited fart caught his fringes on fire! Singed Fringe.

 

Hence

 

Ignarts

 

 

:)

 

 

One wonders what color cactus farts would burn

 

And as long as we're considering BIG ideas - How will this affect the Singularity?


Edited by pharmer, 29 December 2017 - 10:21 AM.

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#13 OysterFarmer

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Posted 30 December 2017 - 05:08 PM

 

The ability to create methane is a genetic trait, but like Skye said, we all make hydrogen.So I guess it comes down to weather or not you make blue tinted flames, or yellow....

My flames are always predominantly blue with yellow tips. Does that mean they are hydrogen?
No matter how immature it may be to perform that actual action of lighting a fart on fire. It’s is always funny even though it is fucking disgusting. I laugh so hard it makes my ribs hurt. Well all know that laughter is good for us!

 

Years ago when I first found out I had this ability I was deep in the Hawaiian rain forest.  Completely alone I had packed in a bottle of whiskey and pounds of dried dehydrated beans to keep me going for a week.  After the beans then the whiskey I got the idea to try this.  Why not?

 

And much like you said I was out there in the rain, on the ground, in the mud, drunk , lighting my farts laughing my ass off so hard it hurt.

 

No one can take that memory away from me.


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#14 onediadem

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Posted 31 December 2017 - 02:26 AM

 

 

No one can take that memory away from me.

 

LOL..Thank you for the gift that keeps on giving..



#15 Marleyahu

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 03:00 AM

These are great case studies here. Thank you for providing this needed information. Unfortunately the study of farts seems to have been strongly avoided by many. Im glad to see that's changing.
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#16 Alder Logs

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 08:38 AM

An old friend used to say, "Farts are proof that God has a sense of humor."


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#17 Marleyahu

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 08:45 AM

An old friend used to say, "Farts are proof that God has a sense of humor."


My dad says that!

#18 Alder Logs

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 08:55 AM

You whippersnappers know how to make someone feel old!



#19 phlegmbae

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 11:22 AM

Mr. Methane is my hero!



#20 Marleyahu

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 02:33 AM

I had a go at this today. Any time I eat mushrooms I seem to get some wicked bad gas. I decided to try and light one of them after reading this and I gotta say I was very impressed with my new found ability. Hopefully I can get a good picture of it next time.

Edited by Marleyahu, 05 January 2018 - 02:33 AM.





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