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The Ancient and Enlightened Evaporation Tek

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#1 PinkMenace



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Posted 16 February 2018 - 12:15 PM

Recently I made an Everclear extraction that was too high in Everclear and needed to be concentrated. I of course did what any of us would and journeyed to the Himalayan mountains to consult a shaman. The shaman made me swear that I would only share it with the few in this world worthy of hearing raw, unadulterated truth. So, I of course decided to publish it on the Internet. 


The process is quite complex and requires a thorough understanding of mason jars and how to operate them. Each mason jar is composed of three components (tricky to remember, but you'll get the hang of it); the jar (the glass cylindrical bit that stores the liquid), the lid (the flat bit that keeps the demons from escaping), and the band (a complicated contraption that that when rotated in the right direction with the mason jar components stacked in the proper order, locks the pieces into place).


Now this tek assumes your Everclear extraction is in a mason jar in the CLOSED configuration. If you are having trouble determining whether your jar is open or closed, try holding it upside down. If the contents come rushing out and spill everywhere, completely wasting your extraction - it might have been open.


Once you are certain your mason jar is closed, find a flat surface. It is important that the surface is flat and objects can rest on it such that they are opposing gravity. For example, the top of a table would be okay, but the underside would not be. Another thing to keep in mind is that it should be out of reach of pets and stray children. Cats and children will knock over cups from surfaces because they are practicing hunting. In addition, you would not want your child to accidentally drink the concoction unsupervised.


After a secure and flat (I can't stress the flatness enough) location has been found, place your jar on it. You want the lid facing up and the bottom of the jar on the surface. A trick to this is making sure the glass portion is touching the surface and over all the jar is positioned taller than it is wide (resting it on its side is problematic for the next step).


Once the jar is in place, it is time to again reach to your knowledge of mason jar anatomy. Place your non-dominant hand on the bottom of the jar and hold firmly. Make sure you are just touching the glass and not overlapping onto the band of the jar. With your dominant hand, squeeze the band and turn counter-clockwise until the band is removed.


If you are having trouble remembering which is counter-clockwise, purchase an analog clock from the local dollar store along with some batteries. Once the batteries are in the analogy clock hold it in front of you and watch the clock hands. Counter clockwise is the opposite direction the hands on the clock move. It may help you to lay the clock on top of the mason jar to get a better idea. Note, you do not need to turn as slowly as the hands on the clock. Also, all the hands move in the same direction.


After you have removed the band completely, the next part is to remove the lid. Still holding the glass jar with your non-dominant hand, grab ahold of the edge of the lid with the tips of your fingers and pull back. Place the lid with the band to the side of the jar.


The next part is really difficult. Leave it there and practice Overnight Tek. By morning a significant portion of the alcohol will have evaporated. It's as easy as that!



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#2 PinkMenace



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Posted 16 February 2018 - 12:16 PM

People seem to frequently overthink evaporation, so I figured I'd post a joke tek about it.

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#3 Microbe


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Posted 16 February 2018 - 12:56 PM

Easy peasy. I think applying gravity in the right amounts and at the right times will get you more even evaporation set. I try to keep the gravity at 6.8 m/s2 for 72 hours before spiking it up to 9.8 m/s2. Takes some practice and it works better if you have a automated gravitational control unit but manual control works also.
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#4 onediadem


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Posted 17 February 2018 - 08:26 AM

That my dear, was fucking brilliant. This week we have been dealing with new carpet, and I asked where the other recliner was. I asked in all seriousness. Everyone looked at me and said "your sitting in it".


So, in all honesty, this week, I need a life manual to make it through. The blonde jokes were just icing on the cake.



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#5 cosmicsistar



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Posted 27 March 2018 - 12:25 PM

thanks for making my day, I've been reading too many tech stuff without laughing xoxox

#6 Soliver



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Posted 14 April 2018 - 11:39 PM

Pink M ....


I'm almost understanding your revolutionary tek.


Especially the part where you mention that children should not be allowed to "drink the concoction unsupervised."


Ok, so I supervised my children, and they drank like .. I dunno .. a LOT of the extract.  I'm not sure how much, because it has been sitting on the flat surface for a while.


Suffice to say that they weren't impressed with the taste, but you know how kids are when you tell them to NOT do something, right?  Ta ha ha ha ...


I'm not really sure how much they ingested, but both of them are currently winking in and out of existence.


I AM supervising them.  At least while they're on this plane of reality. 


Your TEK is detailed, but doesn't cover this situation.  What should I do? 





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