I suppose I'm going to do a high dose in the summer. Maybe 5g.
It's been awhile. In the past couple weeks, I saw my sense of self drop entirely at various times. And what I found in it was bliss and a knowledge that everything is perfectly fine. Without a self to refer to, all of reality takes it's place. It was convincing, very very convincing, and the bliss was real bliss.
I might try to camp out in that bliss and non-identification. I won't take a high dose if I can't manage myself very well for the next few months. I have no intention of changing what I've been doing now, meditating daily, microdosing, low doses on Fridays. But, I do ask that I don't hold any major regrets coming into this potential summer trip. Basically, I ask that I'm careful about other habits, how I interact with friends, how I think about people, general negativity, etc. Ideally, I would like to walk into the trip with the bliss I've found in these last few weeks.
Out of this trip, I hope to understand what I should be up to. I could probably camp out in that bliss... actually I know I can. But, that bliss gives no direction, it tells me there's nothing to do. I suppose as well, in the next few months I will also have a chance to engage with it more and see if there truly is nothing to do. If there is, then okay. But, if it still seems necessary that I take a large trip, which I don't think will be like anything I've ever experienced, then I will. In any case, it will at least mark an overcoming of fear which I think is necessary.
Well, that's the gist of it. Thanks for listening to my plans.
Edited by Guy1298, 16 March 2018 - 12:48 AM.