No person can be counted on to be stable. These are all changing images. The only sense I see in talking it out is if there can be a coming to honesty in both directions. So, other questions would be, can you be honest, and can she? Will you? Will she? Now? Later on? First, I think you have to be honest, though even in that, you may have to be sure you aren't being mean. Emotions can get pretty high. Caution.
A good look at you can help keep your own person's stability in sight. Not whether you get upset in the moment, but who you see yourself as being, and having been. You weren't really those things, but you played them
on TV in this play of life. Is any personality really stable, or do they all bend a little with the wind? When you are looking across space to her center of being, will you be able to see the winds that have blown for her image of self, the part she plays?
When my wife fucked off on me, it was all my fault for being such an asshole. That's what she told me. I was in my twenties then, and that person didn't have much of a clue, took himself totally seriously, but still, being as how that was my personal situation and play, it's not likely to tell us much for what's going down here. For me, it was the best outcome that we eventually split. There never was any trust again. A psychic told me to bail. He told her that her bailing would be best for me. That really pissed her off. It didn't fit with her picture of herself and me. I knew for sure the psychic was right on. Everything that happened between us from that point on just kept making it clearer.
I eventually got clear of her, at some considerable loss, and she came back with her new guy to try to take my home too. Luckily there were no kids. For me, there was a long time of trying to have another love relationship. After a couple decades in the hunt, I found much comfort in living alone, where I have continued happily. I gave up trying to write a different story than the one that applied. Finally, I gave up even having a personal story, and I just am. Could have seen that sooner and known the peace I do now. Of course, that's totally okay, as I see it now and now is the fuckin' groove!
So, as a friend of mine likes to quote an early 20th century guy, Will Rodgers, "Let 'er buck!"