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#1 darci

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 06:06 PM

 
Lately I've been noticing a lot of parallels between the general psychological state of myself (and the rest of the world, it seems) and what's going on in television and movies.
 
After work I smoke, shower, start something on Netflix, and eat.  It's become a real habit and routine for me lately.  I recognize that I should probably not smoke so much, but to be honest the feeling I have while high is really the only thing I look forward to any more.
 
There’s a show I’ve been watching lately called Magicians.  In it there is a scene where one of the characters says something to the effect of “What good is magic anyway when every spell you cast has a price, a cost you have to account for later.  Every effort we take into making things right just leaves us with more crap to deal with.”  For me this is a clear metaphor:  magic is the power to make changes in the world, and its use seems to be failing while the world gets more and more difficult to live in as time passes.
 
The reason as I would explain it is this:  I (and many others) are living a life that is predictable, meaningless, and exhausting.  It seem like the more I work the more there is to do.  I am always "putting out fires" so to speak, and yet even with my frantic activity which starts at 6:00 AM and doesn't really seem to end until around 9:00 PM, the list of things I need to take care of just grows longer.  I’m not even worrying about things other people need, just trying to get my own shit straight.  Alas, my job sucks, my voice is not heard, my position is precarious, my wages are not much better than just enough to survive and repeat this same awful day over and over again until at some point in the not-so-distant future, all I have to give to this world has been extracted and I have no energy left with which to stay alive, and at that point I will die and society will discard me, not remembering much more than my social security number.
 
Gone are my dreams of having a husband, children, a family, and a home.  I once told myself that if I had to live alone, at least I'd make myself rich with the smarts I've worked my whole life building, and the work I've been doing.  But that isn't happening either.  I've asked for raises and looked for other jobs, but it seems no one out there is willing to give the slightest concession toward anything other than a sure thing - the certainty of profit.  It is dehumanizing to reduce people to this level of functioning as nothing else but a facilitator of economic power to be wielded over others.  No longer do ordinary people have any voices about how their world is constructed or how they live their lives.  We enter into a dictatorship of the workplace, obey its ruler, accept their gracious charity so that we do not go homeless, starve, or die.  Ironic that to be free to live we must shackle ourselves in chains.
 
I can see and feel this same sentiment whenever I watch the scripts written for fiction.  But it is very, very real.  Stress, anxiety, depression, fear, uncertainty, the sense that you’re getting less than you deserve, that your contributions are unrecognized, that you’re being told to become so much more than one person could possibly be, and the list goes on.
 
The repetition of this awful scenario is what I believe is leading so many people to a perpetual and ultimately unendurable state of anxiety and depression.  I've got it.  I'm so sick of it all I don't know whether to commit suicide or murder. (Of course I would never actually hurt anyone, I'm merely stating that the emotions are there but still governed by a rational mind.)
 
Life is driving us all crazy, and for what?  So that we all can become crazy and try to live in such a miserable condition?  
 
It's unsustainable.  Right now I feel like we are eating the future and undermining the foundation of society for the benefit of short-term gains for a very few very rich people.  It has taken all of the work of generations to build the knowledge, technology, infrastructure, ideas, and culture of today and yet the fruits of this labor are being shared with no-one.  It all goes to the top, no matter what you do or how hard you work.
 
People aren't that stupid.  We'll buy into the lie for a time, so long as the promise still seems real and the burden can be carried.
 
So I’m trying to break the cycle.  I’m going to see Nightwish tonight.  Hope it will be fun.
 
- Darci.

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#2 Alder Logs

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 06:33 PM

 It's Kali Yuga.   Sat Yuga has to be found inside.   In the richest country in the world, half the people live on less than $28,000 per year.  I live on far less, and a fraction of that.  

 

The richest man in America has enough money to end homelessness in this country and hunger in the whole planet, and still have over half of his wealth.    What if the ten richest people in the world decided to make things better, instead of working and spending to get even more?   

 

I can see I can't wait for everything to be the way I would want it to know contentment, and discontent always feels like shit.   I have simplified quite a lot, and may have to find more ways to cut back as time goes on.   I try to help my neighbors in ways that save them money and keep them from throwing away things and buying new.   I find that's a hard tide to stem.   

 

My neighbor was cooking and splashed some hot oil on her gray denim vest.   She was trying to find what to do about the little oil stain specks.    I asked what the big deal was and she said that she could not go out in public wearing it.   It's sure not that it wouldn't keep her warm.   Looks like the market will sell one more fashion brand vest.


Edited by Alder Logs, 15 April 2018 - 06:36 PM.

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#3 darci

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Posted 15 April 2018 - 11:50 PM

couldn’t get into the concert. i’ve wanted to see them for years but i couldn’t stop thinking, and just feeling generally distressed and annoyed. of all the nights to run out of weed...

#4 onediadem

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Posted 16 April 2018 - 12:31 AM

When the band let Tarja go, they made a huge err in judgement IMO. She was the voice of the band and they did her extremely dirty. It sad really, because to me, they were just never the same. I wish I could smoke lol.



#5 darci

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Posted 16 April 2018 - 08:54 AM

Yes Tarja was awesome, but to be fair the new girl does a pretty good job from what I saw.  I left after just a few songs because my mood wasn't compatible.  I was just too self-conscious going to a concert alone.  Too much thinking, not enough dreaming.



#6 Alder Logs

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Posted 16 April 2018 - 09:39 AM

When the band let Tarja go, they made a huge err in judgement IMO. She was the voice of the band and they did her extremely dirty. It sad really, because to me, they were just never the same. I wish I could smoke lol.

 

Yes Tarja was awesome, but to be fair the new girl does a pretty good job from what I saw.  I left after just a few songs because my mood wasn't compatible.  I was just too self-conscious going to a concert alone.  Too much thinking, not enough dreaming.

 

Hmmm, interesting.   I stayed home as I usually do and picked out a thrift store DVD I hadn't seen yet; Rock Star.  It seems you guys ladies just spoiled the plot for everyone else.


Edited by Alder Logs, 16 April 2018 - 09:41 AM.


#7 onediadem

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Posted 16 April 2018 - 10:01 AM

Great move Alder



#8 onediadem

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Posted 16 April 2018 - 10:02 AM

Gak. movie.



#9 Alder Logs

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Posted 16 April 2018 - 10:06 AM

Ah, you like my moves.  Now we're gettin' somewhere!

 

Yeah, I really liked it, though I never was a metal fan.  

 

2001 with Jennifer and Mark.   Mark has such a range (does it all so well) and I always want to bring Jennifer home and see if I can keep her; please, huh, please?


Edited by Alder Logs, 16 April 2018 - 10:09 AM.

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#10 TVCasualty

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Posted 22 April 2018 - 01:29 PM

It's an age-old problem, just getting more vivid and intense thanks to the pace of modern society (and all the blinky lights).

 

 

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things. -Thoreau, of course. In 1849, no less. And I'd guess that he'd amend it to say "The mass of men and women" if he wrote it today.

 

 

As for me, what I do to deal with that when it starts to creep into my head is shake things up (big-time). Break out of my comfort zones and shatter any habituated complacency. I've moved across the country a couple of times as a result (I've lived in six different states so far, with four months being my shortest stay in one), among other acts of demolition. In one case I'd never even been to the part of the country I drove to with all my crap in tow before, much less the state.

 

In another, I'd only been to the state I moved to once for a meet-and-greet visit, which happens to be where I am now. My most recent major demolition/shake-up was only just last August, and I arrived the day before the eclipse (the place is right in the middle of the path of totality) which is probably why the DMT trip I took halfway through it was so unexpectedly intense (I posted a thread about it; it was a life-changer).

 

Anyway, the demolition phase is a pain in the ass, and frankly sucks. But it's necessary for what follows: The renovation! That part can be a lot of fun. Some years later it might be time to do it again, just like with bathrooms and kitchens. I've demolished and renovated my life from top to bottom three times so far. It can be invigorating, which is why I recommend it to others. Besides, if we don't like or can't tolerate our current lives, what do we have to lose?

 

My ex and I had a great moment while out tripping in the woods one day when she got fidgety while we were sitting in a nice spot enjoying an incredible view. We were still peaking pretty hard and were almost perfectly comfortable until she felt a small rock under her butt and got annoyed enough to move. As she was finding a more comfortable spot she said "I guess life puts little rocks under our butts so we don't sit in one spot too long!" Which we both found pretty damned hilarious at the time, and started saying "there's a little rock under my butt" to each other whenever we were getting bored/fidgety/annoyed and needed to do something about it.

 

Most of the time, the little rocks that end up under our butts are not literal rocks. They manifest as thoughts and feelings. Heed their warnings, then do what ya gotta do.


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#11 av8or

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Posted 23 May 2018 - 12:14 AM

There is truly no such thing as gravity....the world of today just sucks.



#12 Alder Logs

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Posted 03 November 2018 - 11:05 AM

[Direct Link]


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#13 TVCasualty

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Posted 03 November 2018 - 12:01 PM

Just... wow.



#14 onediadem

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Posted 03 November 2018 - 03:59 PM

Alder, that is how I feel in this sea of phones. People just do not care how freaking rude it is. 



#15 Alder Logs

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Posted 04 November 2018 - 12:08 PM

That black and white cartoon?  I just watched it again and noticed this:  "Published on Oct 11, 2017 -- 51 Views"

 

Just... wow. 

 

Must be anti-virals.


Edited by Alder Logs, 04 November 2018 - 12:09 PM.


#16 darci

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Posted 06 November 2018 - 12:25 PM

63 views when I saw this.

 

How does a video like that get so little attention?



#17 Alder Logs

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Posted 06 November 2018 - 12:29 PM

63 views when I saw this.

 

How does a video like that get so little attention?

 

 

Is Gaggle protecting us?






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