I took a couple small trips out in the wilderness not so long ago.
The effects were far different than earlier this year.
The feelings were incredible. I found a small sun-lighted area under some trees and laid down. When I closed my eyes there was a reverberating ball of light haloed against the sun underneath my eyelids. It reverberated and I felt the world here and now as gone. A good analogy is like coming to the ocean and standing in shallow water near the beach, looking far into the ocean going onwards forever, feeling the beach as though it was unreal. It was like that mixed with ancient feelings, feelings of being a part of something infinite, being something else, remembering some of the feelings I've forgotten from past large dose trips, remembering the feelings I felt shortly after and during Ayahuasca.
I intend to trip week to week while I hike around for a few months. Working up the dose as I do so, watching my state of mind as best I can. I'm trying to decide on what to do from here. I've got a couple ideas. Mostly, I want to head to South America to drink more Ayahuasca for a longer period of time and whatever comes from that. I think these doses out here will lead me to make a decision. I'm interested in wading deeper into that ocean I feel, going for a swim, seeing what's really there.
Wish me luck.
Also, I'd like to apologize for using this forum as an anxious journal from time to time. Hopefully, it hasn't bothered anyone. :). I'm grateful to be in the company of more experienced people on these forums. I know that reality is stranger than can be seen. I will always be a child. The curtain is a curtain behind an infinite number of curtains, opening, seeing, opening, seeing... I can never know. Or so I think.
Edited by Guy1298, 30 April 2018 - 12:32 PM.