Okay, while this is polictical, I wrote this on some good Canadian Budd. Read and enjoy and I hope no one is offended since this is a Fractured Fairy-Tale of Woe on the King of Woe.poetry
A Fractured Fairy Tale Dream From the Brain of John W. Allen.
THE DEVIL AND DONALD J. TRUMP: Meaning - Hell is for the Mindless Miscreants of the World.
A few years in the future, Donald John Trump suffered s a heart attack and died. Donald goes to hell where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do regarding your future here Don John, I've got Three fantastic Amazing Deals of the Century to offer you.
DEAL ONE: Don John, I have here in this area of my domain, three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves. And Don John, That is the First of three Deals that I am offering you. You should be grateful to me for all eternity for this chance of a lifetime deal. I do not give deals to 99.9999999% of my domain to just anyone. OK?"
Well Don John thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The Devil then opened the door into the first room: In the room Don John observed that Ex-President Tricky Dicky Nixon was diving into a large pool of what was a sewage-infested pool of very nasty smelly water defecated crap of high quality. The kind of shit that Don John used when attacking those he did not agree with. And to Don John's delight, he was quite thrilled to see the eternal punishment that Satan had begat on poor Trick Dicky Nixon. For some reason or other, Tricky Dick was observed diving in and out of the pool, over and over, and each time he resurfaced he came up from the water empty-handed because every time Tricky Dicky grabbed a handful of that shit, the shit kept slithering out of his fingers and back into the pool.. Don John kept watching for a minute as Nixon did that over and over and over. Such was the fate of Richard Nixon’s sentence of eternity in hell. "Nope" Don John said to Satan, "I don't think so. That is definitely not for me. Besides, that shit really looks very nasty to me> Don John Added, "Satan, I am really not a very good swimmer and I do not think I could do that all day long. And I am sure you noticed that I am quite large so I most likely would just float and bob around in the pool and eventually I would become water-logged. So there is no way I could accept this deal. So what else have you up your sleeve for me?"
DEAL TWO: The Devil then led Don John to the next room: As Satan opened the door, Don John looked into the room and noticed that the man in the room was Fox News Commentator Sean Hannity. And Don John Noticed that Sean the Pawn had a large very heavy sledgehammer and was standing bent over in pain crying over a very large pile of rocks. Don John was told by the Devil that Sean Hannity’s eternal punishment was that Sean had to swing that hammer, time after time, after time while bent over crushing rocks for all eternity. Satan said to Don John, Now here is a deal I think you would welcome. This is a Great Deal because you are a big strong man, this should be no problem for you. "No way can I do this” Don John said in shock at the thought of swinging a sludge hammer day after day after day for all eternity just to smash rocks. “Besides,”Don John added, “I have this little problem with my shoulder and arms and really sir, my hands and arms would be more willing if I could possibly lift a heavy cheeseburger or a Tostada from my plate to my mouth day after day after day.” The devil snickered gave Don John a, “Hehehehe! I bet you would!” And then Don John continued his request by adding, “I really would prefer to crush cheeseburger meat with my teeth day after day after day. Or even a plain tortilla If that is possible? I would gladly lift a cheeseburger to my mouth and crush those little cheeseburger bits all day for all eternity?” And the devil still snickered back at the Don, who added, “If I had to lift a sledgehammer all day, time after time after time, I would be in constant agony if all I did for you was break rocks all day! So I would like to hear what the third and final offer is before I decide."
So the devil was beginning to get really pissed off at Don John Trump and said “Don John, Time is running out for you. Remember, I told you I have three sinners here who all committed horrible acts on others and are here to be punished for all eternity and you have to choose which one of the THREE DEALS I am offering you and you now have one last deal before you and of those three Deals, You will soon have to tell me which person in these THREE DEALS that you would be willing to exchange places with. So this is the last of the THREE DEALS. Then you will have to choose.
DEAL THREE: So Satan then led Don John Trump to the third door and he opened it wide and Don John looked into the room to find Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms folded behind his head, and his legs were Spread-Eagled and he was tied to the bed with stakes in his hands and feet. Bent over Bill was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Don John Trump then looked in disbelief for a while and finally said to Satan, "Yeah, I can handle this. I'll Take Deal Number Three and exchange places in this Great Great Deal of the Millennia."
To which the Devil then smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go".
Edited by mjshroomer, 08 May 2018 - 05:40 PM.