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[Coopdog]

Had a series of negative dreams this morning and woke up feeling pretty emotional, but I think they were therapeutic for me. My wife has been gone for most of a year nurse maiding for her 90 year old father, who needs help, but wants to die in his own home. This was not supposed to be a long term thing, and she came home a few weeks ago for a month long visit, (I was already chafing on that point) and 6 days into it her father fell and broke his hip, so she had to fly back out. This was very hard on me. I knew it was not easy for her either, but I realize there are more important things that happen in life, despite my feelings on the matter. 

 

Two days ago I spent the entire day in a slow simmering rage. I didn't act out even a little bit, but inside I was not fit for human company, and just kept to myself. This is not a normal way for me to feel, and though I conducted myself well despite it, well, it's in there. It all came out in my dreams last night, and in them I lashed out over the phone, and then continued smashing up everything in the house until I was exhausted. Woke up with tears in my eyes and my heart pounding in the dark. Scared me that I could be holding that much anger inside me at my wife, who is trying her best to hold it all up back there even though she has physical problems herself. 

 

The time and distance that has opened up between us is deep. Never saw my marriage being derailed like this 38 years in. We are both pretty old now ourselves, and it is time to either rebuild it or let it go, and I don't want to do that. I have been on hold so long I forgot what it is all about, and that anger is coming out in my dreams, which I much prefer to waking life. Anger is the fucking devil once it takes you away. Maybe it's better to have dealt with it in my dreams, because I feel calmer today, but very tired of being alone. Didn't want to say all this BS in the rough circumstances thread which is where it belongs, this was a dream and I try to stick to topic. So here it is I reckon! 

[Arathu]

The totality of the anger is not just at your wife........IMHO

 

A

[Coopdog]

That is for sure. Never really been mad at her in my entire life. She is way too cool for that. Just mad in my subconscious I guess. It's been a long time indeed. 

[FLASHINGROOSTER]

Mad at a frustrating situation,  it probably makes it even worse because you can understand why she NEEDS to do it.

[Coopdog]

yep.

[Coopdog]

Last night I dreamed of a very familiar dreamscape once again. It's very large corrugated steel buildings, with different kinds of fabrication going on inside. Railroad tracks and cars outside. This time it was the foundry again. Having to deal with difficult people, I guess I am having anxiety dreams about going back to work. In this dream I was unhappy and angry there, like I said dealing with difficult people there and just had to get out. I went outside for a few minutes at daybreak and saw the sun coming up. Crisp and cold. These difficult people tend to be made up of some of the crusty assholes I have had to work with over the years. 

[Justintime]

A man and woman are walking out of my house with clipboards. Probably my thinking about Covid cold callers whatever.
I stop the man as he gets into his van. I want to see what's on his folder.
He shows me a crystal with a magnet at each end and wiring attached to the far end of each magnet.
End.

Dreamed of two baby fox. One black and white another red. They were in a chicken coop. They were alive but motionless.

[Coopdog]

This morning I dreamed I was at my grandmother's house, but she wasn't there. Instead my Mom was there in some sort of hospital bed. In the dream I was maybe 15 or so. One of my friends gave me some little marshmallows that were dosed with LSD, and we were playing out in the street, playing frisbee, while several other of my childhood friends were jamming to the music and dancing and wrestling around in a garage across the street. There was a kind old lady who was trying to wrangle us into the house for food. In the end I went back to Gramma's and the hospital bed was out front and there were bags of clothes on it, and Mom said she had to go, this is just a dream and she can't stay. 

 

I woke up happy and melancholy both. It sure was fun tripping and acting silly with my old friends. I love visiting dreams and I wish I could stay longer when they happen. 

[Justintime]

I'm looking at a house and being told the owner has a problem with her dog breaking through the fence. I go look and sure enough the big beefy dog tries to get to me through the fence and breaks it.

I'm at some big indoor concert packed with people like sardines in a can. I'm floating above the crowd.
Multiple stages. Seems I have friends and they have a stage.
Across the way another stage and one of those on that stage ate shouting something at us and looking angry.
I go outside and find a BMX and ride it around.
Doing this was my first freedom as a kid, I'd ride from my suburb all the way into the city and back on my own at nine years old.
The BMX is chrome and clean, so shiny.
I have a fat wadd of cash in my pocket. I'm bunny hopping the bike and riding down stairs doing tricks but never falling off.
I hear lyrics in my head repeating a little song singing "They don't have nothing on you and it don't mean sheeit"
I heard a group of people singing it in the underground carpark and it stuck with me in the dream.
Small towns will mess with you. What they don't know doesn't stop them slandering. If you keep to yourself you're under suspicion. I'll get away from here when I get money. It's the same wherever you go tho. But I'd love to see the place from five hundred ks away. Beautiful town, shame about the people.

[ElPirana]

I was on a dock at a lake with some people who seemed familiar. I have a fishing pole, the bait has already been cast out and the pole was laying on the dock. We started walking back off the dock, but I noticed the fishing pole got pulled into the water.

I ran down the dock and without hesitation dove into the water. I swam around the lake underwater, seeing the rocks at the bottom. The bottom of the lake was tinted a yellowish color. At the other side of the lake, still underwater, I found another fishing pole with a fish on it, which I promptly grabbed and brought back to the dock, even though I knew it wasn’t the same one that got pulled into the water.

The small fish didn’t look like a fish at all. Looked more like a A leafy seadragon, but even more like leaves from a plant. The leaves were kind of purple colored and looked exactly like a barberry plant. I was hesitant to touch it. It really wasn’t a fish at all, more like leaves that came to life as an animal. After examining it for a while, I realized I still hadn’t found my fishing pole, but then I woke up.

[Coopdog]

ElPiranha, I once went fishing at the spillway of a dam, where the white water comes through. I got one pole ready and cast it out while I was getting my second pole ready, and while I was doing that the first pole jumped into the water... BLOOP. I was kinda irritated but was not about to jump into that white water spot to get it. A little later I casted in one last time, and caught my first pole, with the decent size channel catfish still on it! What are the chances of that? Makes up for a couple I have lost over the years that I did NOT get back lol. 

[Skywatcher]

A little later I casted in one last time, and caught my first pole, with the decent size channel catfish still on it! What are the chances of that?

I'm sure that fish fry tasted all the better for having recovered the lost pole......

[ElPirana]

Coop, that’s cool as hell you got the pole back! LOL I’ve had poles move on me, once on a dock, and somehow have never lost one. Don’t ask me how I’ve gotten so lucky!

[Coopdog]

Would have been a great fish fry, but only caught two fish that day lol. Both nice channel cats though, so they counted at least! Channel cats and bullhead cats are the best fish I have ever had in my life. People call them bottom feeders, but they are voracious predators, I know because I kept some in a big 12 foot water trough that I made a big ecosphere in. Those things are ferocious! Far from just bottom feeders. I love the flavor of them. They say there is catfish here in the Pacific NW, but I have yet to catch a single one yet. 

 

I used to love taking my fish home and magically Mom would produce a big fish and fried potatoes fried in bacon grease dinner. I must have been 20 before I realized all the work that went into that. Mom always cleaned and cooked all the fish I caught when I was young. I TRULY did not realize what a blessing that was until I moved away. lol. God Bless ya Mom...I miss you...

Edited by Coopdog, 22 July 2021 - 01:09 AM.

[SteampunkScientist]

Here's an interesting dream, not mine however.

[Coopdog]

Dreamed about a hardcore army guy I used to know, and he was showing us pictures of the local "Crips" Gang, when I saw the pictures he had pictures of several very large Black Bears. I suddenly realized he was wearing a bear costume. Then his story went on how one of the adult ones got hit by a truck, and the baby would not let anyone catch it, so he rented a bear suit to catch the baby, and he did! Strange dream, and dammit it blew the earlier one right out of my memory and THAT one I really wanted to write about. Oh well at least the next one was amusing. Some of the stuff my subconscious comes up with lol. 

[Coopdog]

Strange one again. I dreamed we saw the moon nearly full, but it was moving faster than normal, fast enough to easily see it's motion traversing the sky. As it went from right to left, I noticed something reflecting light low and behind it, and as it moved farther to the left, that object became visible as an elongated oval shape with 6 lights on the bottom. It was shrouded in mist, but was still visible. A wave of fear went through me that was almost feral and I felt my guts tighten up. I began to run towards the water, as particulate began to fall out of the sky. It was almost a heavy mist, but was made up of tiny things sort of like little crabs or shelled spiders, each one hanging from a strand of web that were so thick they obscured the background. When I had the thought that they may have come from that ship or another one like it, I ran faster... to the water. 

 

I came down to the water on a hidden spit of land that I knew was there, in an industrial shipping area. I walked to the edge of the water and as these spider things were drifting down, I watched them send these shipping containers down a ramp and into the water, 25-30 of them, and I heard cows mooing, and realized the containers were full of live cows that they were drowning as the containers sank. I could plainly hear their death struggles from the shore. Tears came into my eyes as I realized their plight and considered the sheer cruelty of the human race. There was no reason I could imagine for this other than evil. 

 

Suddenly a gate burst open and cows streamed out in a panic, and I was standing on a very small piece of land that ended in a wooden breakwater, and the cows were rushing towards me, until I was surrounded. One of them was particularly frantic, and I was being crushed between the cows, struggling to move, even to get into the water. I was trapped next to the frantic cow, and suddenly it was trying to bite me. I pushed it's face away, but it nipped the palm of my hand tearing the skin. It redoubled it's efforts and nipped my leg as I tried to shove my way through the frantic herd of cattle back to the edge. All this time I could still hear the thumping of the drowning cows kicking the steel walls of those containers. 

 

 I had my .38 in my pocket, but did not want to shoot the one cow that seemed to be attacking me. I kept trying to push it's head away, and had several more close calls with it's teeth as it rolled it's eyes and made me the focus of it's anger. I cringed as I got viciously kicked in the thigh in the melee, and reluctantly I put my gun against it's head and shot it. It struggled for a few more seconds and finally went down as the cows were now trying to get away from the loud noise of my gun in close quarters. I found myself on the edge of the wooden wall finally and jumped in to escape the cows, and swam to shore a hundred feet away where the edge was clear of cows, still wondering what I was going to do and if the spiders were some horrible alien thing. 

 

I saw the cows looking at me as I came out of the water, but they made no more moves in my direction and were getting calmer now that the frantic one was down. What a fucked up dream! I wonder what the hell goes on in my subconscious to bring about storylines as crazy as this one. 

Edited by Coopdog, 29 July 2021 - 06:53 PM.

[Skywatcher]

That is one crazy dream Coop. Disturbing I am sure..................

[Justintime]

I am watching a crowd demonstrating. They're marching down a narrow cobbled streets with tall Tudor style two storey houses. Police separate men from women and make them go into a building. They enter a large room with shower heads lining the walls.

Dream ends

[Coopdog]

Dreamed of working in a barn last night, mucking stalls and working with a horse that was very well trained. It was giving me a hard time trying to get on, and I had to tighten up the girth twice because it was huffing air to make it looser. I swear it was laughing at my attempts to get up on it. Sidestepping me and circling. When I finally got on, it was an amazing animal, spirited and like an extension of myself. I can taste the wind in my face as it ran. The place was really nice, and even the saddle was nicer than anything I ever rode with in real life. What an amazing animal. This dream was just like real life. 

 

After, I woke up for a minute and then drifted off to find myself at a rock quarry, but it was in a town. Jumping off cliffs into the beautiful clear water. It amazes me how often I dream of cliffs over clear water, like the quarry I grew up down the road from, but in different scenes, like visiting different ones all over the place.