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#21 SteampunkScientist

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Posted 25 September 2018 - 04:58 PM

Take care sir! May you find what you are looking for...

#22 Guy1298

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Posted 26 September 2018 - 06:02 PM

Will do, thanks.

I'm afraid that peace is an impossibility. I see these shamans that are neurotic as hell. Monks that play World of Warcraft. Teachers are prey to narcissistic tendencies. Ayahuasca plays with my mind, tells me I'm eternal and makes me feel like I can be a Shaman. For what? A greater story formed on the basis of a lesser and wholly false one. These games are never-ending.

When Ayahuasca first threatened to take me into the void, I gave up completely. What it meant was that I trust and give in to everything. The only way to trust a cracker-thin world is to walk with an indefatigable trust. I give up.

There's more important things. I'm taking a chance on living a relatively normal life, actually. I want to love and care for someone. Get a job, take care of my father in the last years of his life, move on. We should give reality to others suffering and work to help them in it.

I often feel that I can't do anything for my dad. His life has beaten him up. And he's beaten others up. I feel him dying. I can't express to him all of the letting go of life I've felt. I couldn't ever get it across. So he faces death in a more terrible way, and since he has never lived in a place of expressing his feelings and fears he has no one to talk to. The days move on in greater pain. What can I do?
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#23 Alder Logs

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Posted 26 September 2018 - 06:08 PM

 

What can I do?

 

Nothing.  The doer can get out of the way, and life will take care of life.  It's what happens anyway, but it's hard not to be pretending to be what we think.  


Edited by Alder Logs, 26 September 2018 - 06:09 PM.

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#24 Guy1298

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Posted 26 September 2018 - 08:19 PM

The answer is very little, of course. You guys say peace comes from within. I think peace comes from accepting every and all tragedies, either by finding their unreality or by carrying their burden on a moment to moment basis. One knows that the world is on fire, so he walks with a bucket of water wherever he goes.

Things are all right, despite being a hell's burden.

#25 Guy1298

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Posted 26 September 2018 - 08:21 PM

Adler, I agree with you, of course.

#26 Guy1298

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Posted 26 September 2018 - 09:05 PM

I want to say thanks one more time. This is a good community. I'll be back to writing here once I can drink Ayahuasca in privacy and security at home. It might be some years until then. I need to get to work and help my dad in the little ways I can and see where I end up. :)

#27 SteampunkScientist

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Posted 27 September 2018 - 01:17 PM

You wake up one morning to find you are alive,

"You won the ultimate lottery!", they tell you with a smile,

They give you your winning ticket, and say "Now off you go!"

You ask, "What did I win?"

They say "Hell if we know!"

 

:cool:


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