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#21 Akari


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Posted 12 September 2018 - 11:54 AM

So fucking sorceror is just a cool way to say I'm a witch. But no, I don't disagree with any of this. I'd say sorcerer is a more negative way of saying witch. As a sorceror I shouldn't be so disturbed by that which dwells in the shadows.

I did some magic to cleanse my home.

I fought the entity last night and won. Reciting the call to the goddess, and Lord's prayer.

Got my first night of sleep, and realized all of this was to force me to get into therapy. Dealing with this has made me more appreciative of everything in life. I woke up late for work, but I was so happy that I'd slept that I didn't care.

I feel like a new person. I love you guys so much. And thank you for helping me through all the tough times. I really couldn't imagine my life without you.

I'll let you know how the night terrors go. That's what I've been calling them. The only way I can explain. All my dellusions about this causing my death have gone away, so I feel like this is just a response to the ptsd from how intense the trip was.

Also. The spirits told me, I'm not allowed to quit. They wanted to restore my fear and respect. They said, if I think I'm a shaman, I should know it's just the beginning.
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#22 Coopdog



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Posted 12 September 2018 - 12:30 PM

Glad to hear you have moved into healing from this. None of us are allowed to quit my friend. Hang in there and I hope this is all behind you brother. 

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#23 Akari


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Posted 16 September 2018 - 01:47 PM

Just to update the topic. I'm not sure how sane I am yet. But I've been able to sleep. But now my dreams are weird. If you can call them dreams. It's like I'm tripping when I go to sleep. I've gotten used to it. It's not as strong as before. I wake up remembering strange names. Always some level of the fear of death. IDK. Nobody's really answered if this has ever happened to them or not.

Edited by Akari, 16 September 2018 - 01:48 PM.

#24 Boebs



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Posted 30 September 2018 - 04:45 AM

. It sounds almost as you connected to another realm of reality. I have done that befor. Just maybe somewhere you're mind was not quite ready to go.
With every passing day things should get less connected.
I spent over a week awake to keep from getting lost where i went in a trip.
Hope you have been feeling better though!

#25 darci


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Posted 05 October 2018 - 06:49 PM

There is a light


Like the Northern Star


Look to it (close your eyes)


Ask yourself  -


"Who am I?  Am I afraid?"  If the answer is no, then have no fear.


"What is this I am seeing?"  If it is a road of ugliness, choose a different path.


Know that there are uncountable multitudes of others like you out there, singing our song into the twilight.  Some afraid, some lamenting, some screaming their light out into the universe, all of us in total, incomprehensible love.


Seek them.  Find them.  Share your stories, your feelings.


Reground.  Connect.


Go outside.  Remember the sun.


It's always with us.  Always.


You are part of everything.


Never forget.

Edited by darci, 05 October 2018 - 06:51 PM.

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#26 Coopdog



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Posted 07 September 2019 - 03:01 PM

It is a beautiful and rare thing how this community rallies together to help one another. Darci that was eloquent and beautiful. Akari, I hope you are doing better by now. 

#27 Severian



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Posted 07 September 2019 - 08:24 PM

Hope you're doing well.



Neg Entities can be terrifying and are no joke.


I've had my fair share of experience


If you're still dealing with them, and want to talk, I'm happy to share what I've learned.


Send me a PM.

#28 Guy1298



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Posted 07 September 2019 - 08:49 PM

I like that most people here get it. Akari, hope things have gone well for you since. :).

#29 onediadem


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Posted 07 September 2019 - 11:12 PM

All my hopes.

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