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You can't always get what you want.....


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#1 Oneyedraven

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Posted 14 September 2018 - 10:48 PM

Fellow topians had planned a big “trip” for the holiday weekend, turned out to be a one-tank trip. Had anticipated a bigger “experience” ….. I know, I know ….you get the trip need not the trip you want☺ 

 

A few housekeeping details first- Have been micro dosing so I stopped that on Wednesday, just to let the  receptors clear.  Just in case DH trip sat, fasted most of the day.  Made double batch 8 gr using CoorsM alcohol extraction + Cranberry- Its nasty to say the least, after about 3 gulps of ½ the dose (est 4 gr) I gagged and lost what I had ingested down the drain.  Other than the micro dosing this was my first ever attempt at a hallucinogenic experience, I have used sativa Edibles  but that’s pretty much the extent of my mild altering substance experiences.  A few weeks prior I did do some holotropic breath work.  My intention was to repair and replace, we have recently had a roof leak which was caused by a poorly done vent install when the house was built, I likened my intention to the repair.  My abuse filled childhood was a poor installation which has produced some leaks and my intent was to repair my “roof” and correct the installation.  As I ingested the dose I said to myself the words we repeat before receiving communion- Yes I’m one of “them” – I found the words (with slight alteration on my part) to be apropos to the occasion- “ I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof,  but only say the word and my soul shall be healed” 

 

Music of choice was Sphongle  and Solfeggio frequency music. 

 

Play Batman dululululuulu sound…

[Direct Link]

to the trip..  

 

The trip was nice with a pleasant and kind and sweet sort of way like having warm cookies at grandmas .

 

  I did not see many colors , what I did see was like the type you’d see if you pressed on your eye balls or were dizzy. I found I could control the colors though and if I wanted them to be green I thought be green and they were.  I know you fellow topians  will understand stand when I say I knew- it was like a long buried truth was unveiled and these ideas or truths were just implanted in my brain? If that makes sense… I realized that all I have experienced in life ( mostly bad and traumatic ) does not affect my true essence that will manifest through eternity. I must lay claim to that true essence, and conduct my self here in a way that when I unite with my essence I will have learned and felt and done what I was supposed to while here.  I also had a vision of a large tree and each human is like a leaf on the tree, the leaf itself can do something stupid, become diseased etc.  but the tree is so strong if the one leaf does not make it it does not affect the whole tree.  It does how ever affect the leaves close to it and even entire branches. (self, family , community??) I also realized that love produces more love and things grow, hate is just dead stuff or 

A eternal circle of destruction that feeds on itself. 

 

I also realized I was dressing, wearing my hair etc. the way others thought I should , which is not a true reflection of who I am.  A friend a once told me I reminded them of the character tinker bell … which I had forgotten… and as part of this trip I felt a greater sense of my true self , without the garbage that the world has dumped on me over the years. 

 

I did get frustrated with my ego self - which kept saying oh ya this means …. Blah , blah, blah 

Like finding possible connections in a crazyish sort of way, I’m hope using a lager  dose next time will wipe out that know it all voice in my head..  If you read my microdosing post you know I screwed the

Pooch by counting my chickens before they hatched and using up my 8g on 2 labor day larger doses. Whilst I still had babes in jars.

 

So I’m now micro dose less .. shit, shit , shit .  Any way it was a nice clean trip, probably did the work of 6 mo or so of therapy in my own head in 6 hours :) 

 

 

[Direct Link]


Edited by Oneyedraven, 14 September 2018 - 10:50 PM.

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#2 Sidestreet

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Posted 15 September 2018 - 03:43 AM

 

I realized that all I have experienced in life ( mostly bad and traumatic ) does not affect my true essence that will manifest through eternity. I must lay claim to that true essence, and conduct my self here in a way that when I unite with my essence I will have learned and felt and done what I was supposed to while here.  I also had a vision of a large tree and each human is like a leaf on the tree, the leaf itself can do something stupid, become diseased etc.  but the tree is so strong if the one leaf does not make it it does not affect the whole tree.  It does how ever affect the leaves close to it and even entire branches. (self, family , community??) I also realized that love produces more love and things grow, hate is just dead stuff or 

A eternal circle of destruction that feeds on itself.

 

Good stuff.



#3 Alder Logs

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Posted 15 September 2018 - 09:29 AM

There is no 'you' that can unite with your essence.    That you is imagined.   Separation from the true is an illusion we believe into existence.  When all is said and done, all illusion never was.

 

 

The world rests upon the bedrock of satya or Truth. Asatya, meaning untruth, also means non-existent; and Satya or Truth means "that which is". If untruth does not so much as exist, its victory is out of the question. And Truth being "that which is" can never be destroyed.

~M.K. Gandhi


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#4 Guy1298

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Posted 08 October 2018 - 01:26 AM

This is such a strange and unreal world.  :biggrin:

 

I enjoyed reading of your trip. 


Edited by Guy1298, 08 October 2018 - 01:27 AM.





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