Hope things are improving with your sleep. Discussed your problem with my wife & girlfriend and was told that early morning waking is typically a symptom of depression. Anxiety makes for a restless falling asleep; depression manifests with early awakening.
You’ve got enough shit on your plate to account for the cause.
You know that native american proverb where an old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life? "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Are you feeding the wolf of 3AM awakening?
Your plight touched my heart, but I’ve been hesitant to write, fearing it would sound preachy.
My honest opinion is that your will is the way out. I sometimes use a tarot deck to supply the archetypal images to direct my subconcious in the right direction. My card for this task would be Key 1, the Magician. It symbolizes the power of the will to translate desires into reality.
Decide to stop feeding the wolf of 3AM. Train your body & your mind to manifest your decision to get past this, despite the shit you’re going through. Pick a nightly time to go to bed. Stop all sceen-related activity at least an hour before then. Choose a time to awake and don’t get out of bed until then... except when the bladder demands (gotta remember it’s an old bear you’re taking to).
Let go of the negative & loss. Grieve when you must, but let it pass through you & move on.
Work the stress hormones out of your system with physical labor. Enjoy the resulting endorphin rush.
Lock in on the positive & banish negative thoughts when they intrude. No feeding the wolf of 3AM.
Look for laughter & share it.
Physical contact & touch will prevail when words fail. Massage someone you love & receive massage in return. Cuddling & hugs are encouraged.
You’ll find what you’re looking for.
And we remember that we love you.
Edited by OldBear, 26 October 2018 - 08:02 AM.