One of my brothers has two children, one 3 and the other 8. Sometimes I wonder about how they feel about life and the world.
As for me, in the last decade, I've found myself change in the way I look at the world. I used to not be very concerned about it. I didn't think things were fucked. I was attending college and believing that getting a job in so and so and studying what and what was cool. The ideas I constructed for myself and my development were a large enough distraction. I enjoyed video games and seemed more than capable of binge-watching TV shows. I liked pizza rolls and a six-pack on occasion. Nowadays, I don't drink and I find TV shows mostly unwatchable and video games leave a bad taste in my mouth, despite their ability to distract.
So now, things feel quite fucked. I don't feel like getting a good job because I don't think it will change anything. My dad has spent most of his life dreaming of getting a lot of money, playing the lotto, thinking about "If I won millions," holding out hope. I went to school and probably fed into his dreams of monetary prosperity. But, school is just a nice distraction and I had little plans to get a good job coming out of it. My dad in the very least is able to see one of his sons do things "right" for whatever that's worth, but not right enough. Not right enough, because I don't think there's a way to solve life. I often tell him, I'm happy with $14k a year, leave me alone, I'll practice yoga and meditate, live in the mountains. And I am. But, still, that's ignoring this current shift.
The current shift is like this. I feel like very few people actually see. Our real issues are blotted out. So many people are secretly on fire. My brother told me yesterday that he doesn't feel like there's anything right with his life and what he's doing. He's being used up. A wife and kids. He works all day and is usually angry at home. I said something about a low-dose of mushrooms. But, let's stop here...
I wonder if, when I was 8, my dad and his family weren't feeling the same sorts of shifts. I bet they were. So, they looked out at a world on fire, while I sat in my room, cheerfully involved in video games. And my brother's son does the same. I think something's changed, but things are the same? I once told a friend that "the world is only ever on fire in your mind." Maybe I should listen to my advice. Is there any real difference. How shattered was the world for someone at war? And yet, it was fine for others. The end of the world has happened countless times in the mind's of people dying and being killed. Yet, the end of the world isn't happening now to me. Seeing a shift in myself that "The world is on fire!" I imagine it having not already been the case... I'd even bring people in to crowd around me to magnify and bolster the view of it. Then I can point and say "See, the world is on fire!"
I'm suggesting that it's bullshit. The world is on and off fire. Death was a fact from the day I was born. Ragnarok had already been communicated. Distraction or, in other words, a different focus, or a different concentration, have always been allotted in numberless quantity. I cannot really find this "The World." Though, I suspect I have no choice, but to play along with the shifts. Maybe I'll head to the mountains soon enough.
What do you think?
Edited by Guy1298, 25 October 2018 - 09:26 AM.
