It's been quite sometime since I have posted. Outside of the surgeries I had to have that laid me up, I have also been hit with having some spiritual / mental issues. I've been searching out a proper person to speak with about these issues but in the mean time I have been talking to a therapist.
It took me over 25 years to speak with even my own wife about all of what's been going on in me.
She suspected I was bi-polar and has seen from observance of me I fight severe depression.
She knew I had PTSD from a incident that happened to me since we've been married. She knew about my Anxiety attacks.
Now the HPPD has taken me 25+ years to bring to her attention. She knows all to well my use of psychedelics but the only reason I have brought it to her attention is because over the past few years it's gotten to the point to where sometimes it's debilitating and affects my everyday life. I don't drive anymore due to HPPD, I have to be careful with my work at the smokehouse since my work involves knifes, there has been several times I've had to stop what I was doing until the mental stuff and visuals pass. I can go on about how it affects me but you get the idea.
She doesn't know I have PSD or Existential anxiety.
I am trying to work with the PSD and Existential anxiety but am having some difficult time with it because I can't say I quite understand it the way it's meant or what.
Plus I really don't know how to explain it to her.
I refuse to take their pharma poison for shit that has to do with my mind but outside of struggling with being, I am in fantastic health. I'm still looking for another place to move to so I can get my grow on. Since I haven't been able to grow any I ran into a supply of some very nice blotter at 175μg and some at 250μg and kinda stockpiled up on it.
I've come to realize that I may have over done it. But then duality sets in.