I use the name OldAndMiserable in memory of a man and mentor
Who, in his own way, showed me that I can't sit around in life, or
Else I'll be left behind as it carries on without me
I'll never experience it as it experiences without me
It took me a lot of years to finally realize the lessons he taught
To begin to understand that life is precious; It can't be bought
With tons of money or stuff or fame
Take that all away, and we're all the same
For years, I struggled to fix everything I could
I felt that life was in need of help, and I was the only one who would
Be able to do it all. And I tried; I put myself on hold for the rest
But only recently did I find that it wasn't for the best
My mental health suffered, and so did those around me
Those that I had promised to help were now nowhere near me
I needed to take time to figure myself out
To return to the man I was, with no fear or doubt
And I have.
Hello, everyone! I have returned! Please, hold your applause...
It's been a while, I know, but in that time, SOOOOO much has happened! I won't go into all the details, but what I will say is...
I HAVE BEATEN BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER!!!!!
After the diagnosis some time ago, and after learning a lot about it, I knew I had to get past this hurdle. So I researched and tried many different paths; therapy (still on-going: nice to have someone to talk to), way too many pills, different doctors, cannabis (huge help!!!), psychiatrists... but it wasn't until I began to use meditation and mindfulness that I really saw a turnaround.
Since then, I have begun learning about life, consciousness, ho'oponopono, spirituality in all it's facets, and many other paths. My life has become so much better! I am able to wake up and know that I am in control of my life, and I can choose everything about it! There's still a lot of unknowns out there, and that is a lot of what hindered me in the past. Now, I look at the unknown as a chance to learn something new! With this new approach, my family life has improved, my ability to handle myself in stressful situations has greatly improved ( to the delight of my kid; I no longer yell or get nearly as angry as I had )... It's all amazing!!!
The research into alternative medicine has been a great journey as well! With the help of some of the super awesome people on this site, I was gifted a fantabulous set of spores! I left them sealed in their separate baggies and in the envelope since I received them, vowing to not open any of them until I had proper means to use them effectively...
This is a syringe made from the AA+ spore sample. Sadly, I didn't take pics of the process, but I used this video:
I know it's not 100% perfect, but it was the best I had at the moment. I still have the other two samples sealed away, so I can work on bigger and better things in the future.
With everything I have been learning, it's plain to see that if I give out good, I get back good. Today, as with almost every day now, I have been giving out good vibes and in such a positive state of mind, so the universe has no option but to give me good back, and I know that good and positive feeling influenced everything I did. This has success written all over it!!!
Today is grocery day, so I will be picking up some brown rice. With that, I will begin to attempt the "Magic for the Masses" tutorial. And yes, it will be to the letter, with no substitutions. I do not want to squander these samples.
Thank you all for reading! I will post more when more happens, and I promise to take pics next time!