As much as I want this to go faster, I also want this to take a while... I am feeling uncertain of using this medicine.
I can't help but think of all the negative stuff everyone has said about these things for years... I really do want to try them, based on all the success stories and scientific/medical stuff, but part of me keeps remembering the bad side ( I promised myself to look at both sides of the subject, not just the positive, while I was researching ) of psychedelics; mental health issues like paranoia/schizophrenia, addiction and so on. I now know, from my research, that these problems are very rare ( addiction being pretty much nil ), and if proper set and setting are arranged, they almost never happen. I've seen videos and read articles/posts of people who have done doses way larger than the typical 'heroic dose' of 5g ( some as high as 30g ) and lived ( obviously ). There really isn't any danger when they are approached with intelligence, wisdom and reverence.
So why am I still afraid?
After what I'll call 'a major re-occurrence of BPD' flared up in my life, causing my wife to start feeling unsure about our staying together, it really made me step outside of everything and begin to try a new way of healing. It has led me down what some would consider a path of 'spiritual awakening', and made me aware of a whole new way of thinking and believing that has GREATLY improved my outlook on this crazy adventure we call life. I've since become more easy-going, more relaxed; things don't seem to get to me much anymore. And when they do, I am better equipped in dealing with the situation and recognize/handle my emotions. I've made a ton of progress, and while I know there is still a lot more work ahead of me, I am more than ready to take the next step.
However, in the months of studying this subject, the 'dark side' of psychedelics is something I couldn't avoid. Learning about how some people have developed mental health problems, and hearing that people with serious mental health should avoid these things, has made me hesitant, to say the least.
Can anyone speak from their experience with these feelings?