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First experience, 6grams of Azurescens. Bipolar and PTSD treatment


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#1 sinnfeinTAL32

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Posted 12 January 2019 - 04:47 AM

Let me first start by saying hello.  I'm from the Northwest, not far from the ocean in a quaint little town.  Cannabis is legal here, and dirt cheap.  I can buy an ounce of a 23% THC strain for 48 dollars on thursdays and sundays.  $12 Gs of 70% dabs. So its safe to assume I smoke a lot of weed.  Unfortunately, my tolerance is through the roof, can't remember the last time I've been stoned, and I smoke a gram of oil a day.  I have a few conditions, I'm Bipolar "type 1", I have PTSD after spending time overseas as an operator, and a disease called Ehler's Danlo's syndrome.  Basically everything in my body dislocates and sublocates hundreds of times a day.  It's unbearble, but I'm pretty damned tough.  Sometimes I just can't handle all three.  Also, I'm a male anorexic, I'm 5'8 and 120 pounds.  Very small, and it still drives me crazy.  
 
The last three years have been very rough.  Alcoholism, homelessness, end of an 8 year relationship..all the same old bullshit. I was found by the police 12 days ago behind a church in my car dying of a suicide attempt.  I swalled 100 400mg seroquels.  I also had a .34 BAC.  was charged with a DUII, but I never actually drove intoxicated,so I'm beating that shit.  But it has left me very stressed, new baby...etc.  Can't lose my license.  Everything around me is like a vacuum that keeps sucking and sucking and sucking!!!
 
I had one of those emergency intervention things from my clinic.  They had to reevaluate all my medications and substitute things that won't kill me if I overdose.  So basically everything is FUBAR.   I got pissed off, told them that the drugs don't work, can't handle all this stress, "the last baby I held died in my arms in a shithole country I never should have been in". And that I couldn't function as a father.  I just told them straight away that I was going to seek alternative treatment.  
 
Two hours later, I was able to find a guy with some dried Azurescens.  I told him I had been reading up on psilocybin and bipolar..etc.  She wouldn't give me what I wanted "xanax".  I had been addicted to it for 5 years, I never abused it but became dependent.  I went through a horrible withdrawl and said I'd never take it again.  When your baby is crying and you can't breathe because you remember the worst, a xanax would come in handy.  I don't use street drugs, no meth, heroin or coke.  Gross.  Mushrooms are natural and safe, from what I read. So I thought I'd give them a try.  I told my therapist this and she didn't say anything contrary.  
 
I started off making a tea out of 1.0g of caps and stems.  I drank it down with sugar and chai to mask the taste.  About 20 minutes later I felt some tightening of my throat and a slight burning in the back of my mouth.  I started to notice little things and decided that i was coming up.  I briefly remembered survival school and numb lips and a burning sensation in the throat is usually a sign of poisioning.  I did a little research and decided that I was completely safe, and I did ingest what was advertised.  I wanted to have an experience.  So I decided to eat .5g more.  I ground up caps and stems and put them in my mouth.  Swallowed them with PBR, and instantly felt sick.  I perservered and the feeling went away.  A friend of mine heard I had something new, and he came to try.  For some reason, he thought I bought ketamine, so he showed up in business attire ready to do lines. He didn't get the message showing the caps soaking in hot water.  I told him I was well into a trip and he should join me.  He decided to eat 1.0 gram of azzy's.  He chewed them up, but decided against eating the stems.  He had a very short come up, for only eating .8g.  I could tell he was getting very high.  I decided to eat another gram and then go for a walk downtown.  
 
We have this quaint little street lined with trees with lights in them,  we walked downtown and stopped often to just take in the sights, lights and enjoy the trip.  I was coming up and and excited for things to come.  We got cold and walked home.  When we arrived and opened the door, the heat hit us like a truck.  I fell in love.  Coming from the dark damp cold into a bright warm house was out of this world.  Literally everything was in 4k!  It was like the first time opening my eyes.  We had a short conversation with my girlfriend and headed upstairs for dabs and classic Jungle and downtempo music.  I'm still not high enough, I don't feel like I've lost my ego.  So I take another 1.5 grams.  My friend is coming down now at around 10 o'clock.  A good 5 hour trip.  He was just as high as he wanted to be, but he was leaving and I wanted to see the stratosphere.  He came down and left shortly after I took the other gram.  Everything is heavy, I'm breathing like I have never taken a breath before. Things are melting in the best kind of way and I'm just enjoying things.  I went out for a smoke and had a great idea.  I was going to eat the rest of the bag.  Which equals 6.2 grams of mushrooms, on my first time.  
 
It's two days past my ingestion of said mushrooms.  I have a completely new outlook on life.  I don't feel death clawing at my throat.  I'm able to hold my baby, and spend time with her mom and just talk about things that make us happy. For the first time I feel whole.  It's a 180!  
 
At first my girlfriend and her mom were skeptical about mushrooms.  Two days in, she has completely changed her mind and wants to help me out on my grow.  I plan to grow as many types as I can, and give them to veterans and other operators "Blackwater, Group 4, etc" free of charge.  
 
This is truly life changing.  I hope to learn lots on this site, and can't wait to maybe meet up with fellow like minded heads around the area!  
 
Sinn Fein

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#2 HooKworm

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Posted 12 January 2019 - 10:55 AM

I played in the sandbox for 2 tours. I use psillies to treats PTSD as well. Since I started dosing bimonthly , I have become a different guy. I’m no longer fred. Congrats on finding yourself.
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#3 Mushinist

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Posted 12 January 2019 - 12:02 PM

Hello and welcome sinnfeinTAL32!

First, thank you both for your service!

Sinn I'm sorry to hear everything was crashing down around you. I'm glad to hear though that you sought help and was able to pull through using mushrooms, they can be powerful medicine when used in the right way.

We are here to help if you need it for your grow so you can continue on this path, not only for yourself and family, but also for others that may need help.

Good luck friend!
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#4 HermitMan

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Posted 12 January 2019 - 12:18 PM

Great story, and congrats on you're turn-around. Like HooKworm said, you found yourself. That's the power of this natural medicine. Try to find a good facilitator for your journeys. It can provide another dimension to the medicine.


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#5 swayambhu

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Posted 12 January 2019 - 12:46 PM

Sounds like a good outcome. High five to you and high five to Grandfather Toadstool!
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#6 Coopdog

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Posted 12 January 2019 - 04:01 PM

I am also in the PNW in the Puget Sound region. Glad these worked so well for you man! I have also seen some remarkable changes in myself since my introduction to these things. I truly feel like they are a necessary and vital part of a healthy life. I had a friend who was dying and having a hard time facing that. He did not like the idea of doing mushrooms but the curiosity got the better of him, and I ended up giving him half a baggie full one day. He started small like you did and then made a tea with the whole rest of the bag! Must have been 12-15 grams in there, and it changed his entire outlook on his death, and he went very peacefully. He felt as if he could accept it now after the trip and felt he had already experienced it and that it had been a loving and beautiful thing that he would be returning to. He was very grateful for the experience. I tried to show him mycotopia and PF Tek videos, but he felt he was good with the one experience and went forward with a peace that he did not have before. That was a few years ago and I had forgotten about that until reading your story. They were a revelation for him. 

 

Welcome to topia, and you can probably still find some of those azzies if you live on the coast. People are still getting them on some ID forums I am a part of. BTW< you are very fortunate to get your buds and oils at that price! Wow man that is amazing!  PEace man! :)


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#7 smcconaghy

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Posted 13 January 2019 - 06:20 PM

Welcome brother super glad you to hear that you are on the right path! I too am a vet suffering with ptsd and a mild TBI. I found these little fellas to be sooooo much help!

#8 sinnfeinTAL32

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Posted 15 January 2019 - 12:38 AM

Thank you for what you have done in the name of freedom.  This is a work in progress.  I do feel so much different.  Was able to dance with my daughter "3 months" today, seeing her smile at me is incredible.  

 

I played in the sandbox for 2 tours. I use psillies to treats PTSD as well. Since I started dosing bimonthly , I have become a different guy. I’m no longer fred. Congrats on finding yourself.

 

I played in the sandbox for 2 tours. I use psillies to treats PTSD as well. Since I started dosing bimonthly , I have become a different guy. I’m no longer fred. Congrats on finding yourself.



#9 sinnfeinTAL32

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Posted 15 January 2019 - 12:39 AM

Do you mean like a wise trip sitter kinda person? 

 

 

Great story, and congrats on you're turn-around. Like HooKworm said, you found yourself. That's the power of this natural medicine. Try to find a good facilitator for your journeys. It can provide another dimension to the medicine.



#10 sinnfeinTAL32

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Posted 15 January 2019 - 12:43 AM

Any information you could share with me would be amazing.  Maybe books on identification, I don't live on the coast, but I'm about 40 minutes from mountains, beaches, just about everything.  Yamhill area.  I have a friend of a friend somewhere on the coast who may be able to facilitate my medication, but that's yet to be determined.  Need to find something until I can afford a grow.  Which I could also use a ton of help with!  I am such a noob. 

 

I am also in the PNW in the Puget Sound region. Glad these worked so well for you man! I have also seen some remarkable changes in myself since my introduction to these things. I truly feel like they are a necessary and vital part of a healthy life. I had a friend who was dying and having a hard time facing that. He did not like the idea of doing mushrooms but the curiosity got the better of him, and I ended up giving him half a baggie full one day. He started small like you did and then made a tea with the whole rest of the bag! Must have been 12-15 grams in there, and it changed his entire outlook on his death, and he went very peacefully. He felt as if he could accept it now after the trip and felt he had already experienced it and that it had been a loving and beautiful thing that he would be returning to. He was very grateful for the experience. I tried to show him mycotopia and PF Tek videos, but he felt he was good with the one experience and went forward with a peace that he did not have before. That was a few years ago and I had forgotten about that until reading your story. They were a revelation for him. 

 

Welcome to topia, and you can probably still find some of those azzies if you live on the coast. People are still getting them on some ID forums I am a part of. BTW< you are very fortunate to get your buds and oils at that price! Wow man that is amazing!  PEace man! :)



#11 Myc

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Posted 15 January 2019 - 09:57 AM

Welcome sinnfeinTAL32.

Here is a video you may find useful toward your efforts. I highly recommend watching the whole thing carefully. 

https://mycotopia.ne...-north-america/






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