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Rough times


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#21 Coopdog

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Posted 23 January 2019 - 11:23 PM

It's fixed... man that's a load of stress off my neck right there. Just needed to rest my shoulder and regain the strength to push hard enough to get that fitting to grab. Yes I know how it is looking for other leaks. I have fixed a lot of them over the years, but this one was simply in the most messed up location. That is exactly what was going on once again, the connection failed. Thank GOD it's done, and thank you for all the healing vibes and positive responses here. You all ROCK


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#22 OldBear

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Posted 24 January 2019 - 07:58 AM

Coop —

Condolences on your dad’s passing & congrats on defeating the leak.

Obviously, the badass apple didn’t fall far from the badass tree.

Not yet 8am here, but I’m doing a shot of whiskey in honor of you & your dad.

Respect.
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#23 Coopdog

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Posted 24 January 2019 - 04:57 PM

Old Bear man I need to knock off the sauce for a bit on my end. I got shitfaced drunk for the last three nights running. Woke up today feeling like hell lol. I may be flying back to Ohio for a week still trying to make up my mind how I am gonna go about that or even if I should. Thanks for that shot though, man if I wasn't hung over some today I would indeed join ya man


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#24 PJammer24

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Posted 24 January 2019 - 05:05 PM

Old Bear man I need to knock off the sauce for a bit on my end. I got shitfaced drunk for the last three nights running. Woke up today feeling like hell lol. I may be flying back to Ohio for a week still trying to make up my mind how I am gonna go about that or even if I should. Thanks for that shot though, man if I wasn't hung over some today I would indeed join ya man

 

My offer for muscle won't be rescinded but will be begrudgingly held if your hangover leads to my doing all the heavy lifting!   :biggrin:


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#25 OldBear

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Posted 24 January 2019 - 07:12 PM

Coop — you were entitled to the deep dive with all the shit coming down.

Sometimes ya gotta blow out the pipes & start fresh.

I just moved after 29 years — it was like doing my own estate — and have sense of what you’re dealing with. Be prepared to toss tons of trash, but there will be things that bring back stories. I hope you & your bro can share some of those while slogging through the debris. Save the things with memories attached. Everything else goes.

Good luck with the project & condolences again for your dad.

OB
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#26 bezevo

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Posted 25 January 2019 - 12:37 PM

BUMMER ! about your loss  , brother


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#27 Coopdog

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Posted 30 January 2019 - 02:49 AM

This story is not done yet, but not in a place mentally to finish it now. You will simply not believe this shit. Love you all...


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#28 Coopdog

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Posted 30 January 2019 - 05:11 AM

Not sure how to lay all this out... It seems my Dad had stopped all his medications when the December prescriptions ran out. When he went in to the pharmacy and found out how much his medicines would cost, (Diabetes, heart meds) they had went up $300 a month from $500 to $800. a month. Last year he spent over $10,000 in co-pays due to them hanging the cost of some tests on him that he did not know came out of pocket. He was absolutely beside himself and said "Never again!" And he meant it. 

 

He went off at the pharmacy in his always colorful and rather forceful way, and got banned from the pharmacy and told to find a new one. He called the doctor and told him to get fucked as well and did not fill his prescriptions. He was dead inside a month. 

 

My Dad never took a damn dime from anyone in his life. When they upped the cost of his already expensive medications he said he would be damned if they were going to take every dime he had and then make him hold his hand out for government assistance. He never in his life took a dime from anyone, and went to his grave that way. 

 

Before you say to me that there are lots of programs out there, you need to understand that he was not about filling out paperwork to get help. Before you say to me that you would have just paid the difference, you need to know that if I had even brought up the subject my Dad would have cussed me out and hung up on me telling me where to stick my money. Dad was OLD SCHOOL and did not want anything from anyone and stood by his resolve right up to the last day. He was determined to leave us some money that him and mom worked for their whole life, and it had already gone down by 10 grand in one year last year for bullshit they should have told him about. 

 

He had also been told he had skin cancer all over him, from all the time he spent year round on his motorcycle and sitting out in the sun baking himself to warm his bones. He told the doc it did not make a damn bit of difference as he had no intention whatsoever of staying out of the sun for any reason. Yep Dad was difficult sometimes, but by God I would not have him any other way. This is a true story of the shambles that our American health care system is in, and we all need somehow some way to change that. Someone 77 years old should not have to deal with paying enough for their medicines to rent a home for a month while other people soaking the system get all their meds for free. The system is broken, anyone got any ideas how to start to fix it, or where I should send my first harshly worded letter? They are bubbling up in me, and I am gonna have to start somewhere... Love you all and thank you. 


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#29 Skywatcher

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Posted 30 January 2019 - 09:46 AM

Coop,

It's hard, but IMO you have done right with your Dad. You respected his wishes and did not try to sway him from his desired path, not that it sounds like you could have anyway.

My own Father placed a request (nice word for demand) on me in his end year. He made me promise him that I would not drag him to a hospital, or in any way prolong the process he knew was coming. He got his last day at home, in his own bed.

 

The price of medications is so out of control. The huge pharma has no regulations or restrictions, and is geared for near total profit with no protections for the end users. Until there are legislators willing to face off with the billion dollar lobbyists, and the elected no longer have their pockets lined with pharma blood money, little is likely to change.

Medicine needs to return to a science of compassion, not a heartless profit generating machine.

 

I will hope you can find more of the amusing and fond memories as you go through the difficult process to come. If there are angry words welling up in you, by all means write them down. You may find those who should hear those words, and I hope you do. But if not, you need to release it so it does not fester within you...............

Even if that releasing is as ash in a prayer to healing for all.....

 

Love ya Brother 


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#30 Myc

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Posted 30 January 2019 - 10:20 AM

First off, I'm sorry for the loss of your father Coop. 

I can point you in the right direction when it comes to health care. The exact problem is that Medicare is not allowed to negotiate drug costs. In other countries like Canada drug prices are negotiated with the drug companies. China and India are emerging as the largest drug manufacturers and they present a real competitive challenge to the "name-brand" companies. Drug prices do not have to be as high as they appear. 

Just trying to keep it short and read-able here. This "universal health care" thing only serves the big corporations - their lobbyists saw to it as the thing was being designed. We'll probably find that corporate lobbyists and think-tanks likely wrote the whole thing and just presented it for signing. 


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#31 Alder Logs

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Posted 30 January 2019 - 11:54 AM

There's no margin in shaking our fists at the big lobbyists in the sky.  They own the day, politically.   We're all going down, so much as we see ourselves as these bodies.   It was the old man's spirit, more than the body, that drove hot rods and rode motorbikes.  We can bet there's a good chance he's riding right now, and the conditions are perfect for that ride.   Being left behind, we can do what we can, and not do what we can't, for all the decks that greed stacks against us.    But there is so much more open to how we meet each day.   I know it sounds like, "aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play," but really, drama is drama, critics are critics, while the sun rises each day we are here.   We just have to make the best of it and not let the bastards wear us down.   Shit happens, but so does love.   We're all born to ride. 


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#32 SteampunkScientist

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Posted 30 January 2019 - 12:47 PM

So sorry to hear about your loss Coop. Life sure does get so damn hard sometimes - Your dad sounds like someone I would have really liked to know, but I am glad I know you in a little way.  Good vibes your way.


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#33 Coopdog

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Posted 30 January 2019 - 01:44 PM

Thank you all once again for the kind words. Alder that was very well spoken as always. The drama has been off the charts lately, Dad left the house to me because my brother wanted to sell everything and liquidate it all asap, and Dad did not want his home to be sold like that. He also left my brother the executor of the will. I had talked to Dad very briefly about this a week before he passed, and certainly did not expect him to get it in writing that fast as he was known  for not doing what he needed to do in those matters. 

 

The day he passed my brother lost his mind and was hostile towards me in a completely unbelievable and unexpected way. We had discussed all of this and neither of us had any demands, nor expectations whatsoever, and knew we are not going to inherit any fortunes, but apparently my brother did have an eye on the money much more than I knew. I tried to discuss going home as this death hurt a LOT of people, but my brother has written off most of the people who knew my Dad and my own friends who Dad loved like family as unworthy to talk to and he was not going to lift a finger nor acknowlege their feelings whatsoever. I'm not made that way, and I needed to be there to help people deal with this. My brother wasn't having it and made such a complete ass of himself that I did not feel like it was a good idea to go home regardless of the need. 

 

None of that sits well with me, I let my brother off the hook with some kind words and told him no hard feelings, but that is not true, it's like a rock in my heart that he did me that way in this time of need and denied me my right to come home for my own closure. Now I am trying hard to choke down my own hard feelings and actually get to a place in my head where there are none, because my brother is now my only blood family left and difficult as he is and has been, I don't want this to be between us for the rest of our lives. This too shall pass, and I hope I can find my own peace again. Been trying to play music and even struggling with that. 

 

As far as trying to sway Dad in his thinking, honestly I figured he would come to his senses when his sugar got too high and go get it fixed. As it was he died of a massive heart attack when he got his car stuck in 18 inches of snow and was probably mad as hell and blew a gasket knowing him as I do. Anyhow thanks for listening ya'll. I will never understand how death can bring out the very worst of the human behavior, but it sure as hell does. 


Edited by Coopdog, 30 January 2019 - 01:46 PM.

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#34 mushit

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Posted 30 January 2019 - 05:19 PM

I hear ya Coop.

It was all I could do to keep my family together when my father passed.  There was no money to exchange at all.  But it seemed my sister was adamant to cause problems where there were none.

It will get better, like I said before.  Time heals.  Take the time.  You need it.  :hug:


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#35 SteampunkScientist

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Posted 31 January 2019 - 08:21 AM

Coop, 

 

I hear the anguish in your words, and as much as you don't want to go back home right now, make sure you find closure, even if you eventually must go back - it sounds like you may be fighting yourself on that, never a good thing if you let that fester.  Your brother may have some anger issues with your dad, and is expressing it towards you as a sort of "stand in", but regardless don't let this turn love into hate in you whatever you do - I know you wont.  We cant control how others think and feel. At any rate we all here for you brother.  Thank you for sharing your pain here, as this is something all of us have or will face - Much love to you brother.


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#36 Coopdog

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Posted 31 January 2019 - 01:41 PM

The problem with going home later is this. I could have tacked leave time on to my bereavement leave from work, unpaid but excused. Since he was so difficult about me coming back when I could, now I won't be able to miss a weeks time or more until October. It was very important to get there asap, as the neighborhood is full of dope fiends on heroin and meth and strung out on pills. The house across the street has been broken in to three times in a year, his mother lives next door and has been broken in to twice, Dad's next door neighbor has been broken into twice as well, so it's a matter of time until the thieves swoop in and toss the place. Mom was a known hoarder, and it's fairly well known that when she died there was a large pile or cash missing, that is probably still in the house. I know she gave 7 grand to some heroin addict and his wife who came to her with a good story, and I doubt she fell for any more "good stories" because my mom was a penny pincher to her dying day. Dad searched for the money some but I think he left if for us to find or not. 

 

Deep in my soul I think that might be why my brother did not want me back there, fearing that I may not share that money with him. Breaks my heart because if I found a twenty he would get ten of it. I'm not hurting for money, and wouldn't steal from anyone man that is just not how I roll. Thank you guys for listening, I think that barring future drama, it's time to let this thread fall away and get back to living life. 


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#37 Baphom3t

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Posted 31 January 2019 - 04:20 PM

Sorry for your pain and condolences for your loss Coop.
The neighborhood you describe sounds very much like the west side of Columbus.


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#38 mushit

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Posted 31 January 2019 - 07:43 PM

 I think that barring future drama, it's time to let this thread fall away and get back to living life. 

More profound words have never been spoken.

:meditate:

 

 


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#39 Coopdog

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Posted 01 February 2019 - 02:34 AM

Baphomet, Think 40 miles North, The West end of Marion is where I am from. My wife is from the South side of Columbus so yeah man, you got a good handle on the situation. So damn glad I got out of that area when I was young, or I woulda probably been dead years ago.  If I ever DO get back there again, I will message you and hook up to say hey. My Dad was very well known with bike clubs in Columbus as well, so if you know any bikers you may even know someone who knew him. One of these days I need to write a thread and let people know what a rock headed badass Dad I had. He was practically a legend in Central Ohio for some of his younger antics and the story is worth telling whether anyone believes it or not lol My life has truly been better than fiction in a lot of ways, even if it had it's rough spots. 


Edited by Coopdog, 01 February 2019 - 02:42 AM.

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#40 dead head jed

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Posted 01 February 2019 - 10:05 PM

Coop so sorry to hear about your loss

and the shit storm that has resulted from it

 

hopefully your brother pulls his head out of his ass before too long

 

It sounds like your dad lived and died on his own term and will be remembered well

and in that sense he probably lived more life in those 77 years then most of us will if we make it to 170


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