I would say that any amount of worrying is too much. It strikes me as similar to guilt in the sense that it's also a superfluous (at best) and counter-productive emotion.
There's a neat trick for dealing with anxiety that uses an interesting psychological quirk about us to turn a negative feeling of anxiety into a positive feeling of excitement/anticipation. The trick is basically to just decide you're excited about something rather than anxious about it.
Some of the biggest "tricks" there are for changing our minds really are that simple and only considered to be tricks or hidden/esoteric knowledge because a lot of people just seem to prefer really complicated answers to stuff. That and it's hard to convince a publisher to sell a self-help book that's only one page long, lol. In some cases the infusion of superfluous complexity serves to make one into a gatekeeper of such knowledge, which can be very lucrative and/or a big Ego boost. This is becoming almost comical in the Ayahuasca scene. But I digress...
This explains the details about looking forward to what we're afraid of:
I've found it to work, at least when I remember to do it, lol.
And assuming that you actually do have BPD, and that BPD is something real, all indications that I've come across suggest that tripping on mushrooms would likely be beneficial in regards to any expressions of it. Psilocin has been shown to inhibit fear-processing in the amygdala, and among other things BPD is associated with a smaller and over-active amygdala.
If you had a personal or family history of schizophrenia then concerns about a larger dose would be warranted. I know a couple of people who had bad trips thanks to undiagnosed schizophrenia and while unpleasant (very much so) they were okay afterward (so long as they stayed away from psychedelics afterward). In the first instance, the dosage was mild (around half a hit of blotter LSD).
The unpleasant symptoms were not severe in her case, but they were pretty intense for the guy who took 3 tabs at a carnival with tons of blinking lights so it might be the case that such reactions are dose-dependent (and the guy at the carnival may have had undiagnosed epilepsy that was triggered by the lights), meaning if you haven't had negative reactions from low doses you probably won't from higher doses. Both cases involved LSD, not fungi, and that may also be relevant.
And while I'm no Neurologist, I can anecdotally report that fungi literally saved my life from a list of what turns out are mostly factors associated with BPD. So while I can't prove it, I suspect that fungi are one of if not the only medicine that might actually work as an effective cure for it and similar conditions.
While I usually recommend jumping into the deep end right away, for some wading in to the deeper stuff gradually is probably a better approach. So ramping-up your dose over time works fine, though I would remind anyone doing so to avoid those mid-range doses (so after you work your way up to 2 grams make the leap straight to 5 or more grams once you feel excited rather than anxious about it).
Good luck, and here's to hoping that you can change your nym from OldAndMiserable to OldAndFeelingPrettyGoodAllThingsConsidered soon...
Edited by TVCasualty, 13 November 2019 - 12:12 PM.