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Dear Journal -OldAndMiserable's Daze of Microdosing


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#281 OldAndMiserable

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Posted 13 November 2019 - 10:26 AM

Thanks for the comment!

 

I agree; the difference between microdosing and the bigger doses are very different, in terms of pursuit, destination and results. When it comes to each dose size, while proper set and setting is ideal, it really comes down to having the intention and the dose; that's all there really is; as you said, 'all else is negotiable'. 

 

My biggest difficulty is letting go of that baggage, in order to prepare and dose accordingly. Though I have managed to shed the bonds of fear, worry and stress in many aspects of my life, it's the fear of the unknown that still holds me back from the attempt. However, I know that fear is somewhat unfounded - I know what to expect (for the most part), based on all the stuff I have researched and all the trip reports I have seen, I know the feelings that can come up (fear, anxiety, etc.), I know (some of) the effects that I can/will experience - so what am I afraid of?

 

After thinking about that, it's the not knowing how this will affect me that really has me worked up. In my researching, I look into the good and bad, and when I hear people say that 'those with bipolar/borderline disorders and other serious mental health issues should not use this stuff", it really hinders my progress. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder about 2 years ago, and while I have worked hard to move past the diagnosis and its symptoms, I can't help but worry about my mental health when I do the big dose. I don't want to jeopardize my sanity; I have a wife and kid to think about, and I can't help but be concerned about what might happen.

 

Am I worrying too much?


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#282 TVCasualty

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Posted 13 November 2019 - 12:09 PM

I would say that any amount of worrying is too much. It strikes me as similar to guilt in the sense that it's also a superfluous (at best) and counter-productive emotion.

 

There's a neat trick for dealing with anxiety that uses an interesting psychological quirk about us to turn a negative feeling of anxiety into a positive feeling of excitement/anticipation. The trick is basically to just decide you're excited about something rather than anxious about it.

 

Some of the biggest "tricks" there are for changing our minds really are that simple and only considered to be tricks or hidden/esoteric knowledge because a lot of people just seem to prefer really complicated answers to stuff. That and it's hard to convince a publisher to sell a self-help book that's only one page long, lol. In some cases the infusion of superfluous complexity serves to make one into a gatekeeper of such knowledge, which can be very lucrative and/or a big Ego boost. This is becoming almost comical in the Ayahuasca scene. But I digress...

 

This explains the details about looking forward to what we're afraid of:

https://www.theatlan...success/474909/

 

I've found it to work, at least when I remember to do it, lol.

 

And assuming that you actually do have BPD, and that BPD is something real, all indications that I've come across suggest that tripping on mushrooms would likely be beneficial in regards to any expressions of it. Psilocin has been shown to inhibit fear-processing in the amygdala, and among other things BPD is associated with a smaller and over-active amygdala.

 

If you had a personal or family history of schizophrenia then concerns about a larger dose would be warranted. I know a couple of people who had bad trips thanks to undiagnosed schizophrenia and while unpleasant (very much so) they were okay afterward (so long as they stayed away from psychedelics afterward). In the first instance, the dosage was mild (around half a hit of blotter LSD).

 

The unpleasant symptoms were not severe in her case, but they were pretty intense for the guy who took 3 tabs at a carnival with tons of blinking lights so it might be the case that such reactions are dose-dependent (and the guy at the carnival may have had undiagnosed epilepsy that was triggered by the lights), meaning if you haven't had negative reactions from low doses you probably won't from higher doses. Both cases involved LSD, not fungi, and that may also be relevant.

 

And while I'm no Neurologist, I can anecdotally report that fungi literally saved my life from a list of what turns out are mostly factors associated with BPD. So while I can't prove it, I suspect that fungi are one of if not the only medicine that might actually work as an effective cure for it and similar conditions.

 

While I usually recommend jumping into the deep end right away, for some wading in to the deeper stuff gradually is probably a better approach. So ramping-up your dose over time works fine, though I would remind anyone doing so to avoid those mid-range doses (so after you work your way up to 2 grams make the leap straight to 5 or more grams once you feel excited rather than anxious about it).

 

Good luck, and here's to hoping that you can change your nym from OldAndMiserable to OldAndFeelingPrettyGoodAllThingsConsidered soon...


Edited by TVCasualty, 13 November 2019 - 12:12 PM.

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#283 OldAndMiserable

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Posted 13 November 2019 - 06:55 PM

I must say, you have certainly motivated me!

 

The article about shifting the feelings of anxiety was inspiring. I can definitely say that I am one of those people who feel there should be/has to be a really long and drawn-out way of solving things, and I tend to gloss over the easy stuff for the simple fact that it is 'too easy' or 'too simple' to be effective. But I know, from experience, that it can be that easy to solve problems - when I am watching a video on YouTube, for example, and am hit with a panic attack, I just hit pause and start up a video game or put on some music; while it doesn't immediately end the panic, it does redirect my thoughts and begin the process of the come-down. All it takes is a change of something small to take the attention away from the problem, and it becomes more manageable. 

 

It's also a state of mind thing - that which you give your attention to becomes your reality; if I continue to focus on the fact that I don't want a panic attack, how much they suck and how horrible they feel, I'll wind up having one. It's happened in normal, everyday life - I'll start getting a feeling of nervousness or stress, I'll repeat my 'mantra' of "i'm fine, I'm fine" and do breathing exercises, but because I am focused on the feeling and what it can mean, I wind up not so fine in the end. But when I spend my time doing what I enjoy and focusing on the joy and excitement of the day, things turn out much better. Of course, like you said, it's a matter of remembering to do it :p

 

Thankfully, schizophrenia doesn't exist in my family history (as far as I know), so that helps. I still am going to take my time with it, though; guess I have developed a super strong sense of caution over the years. Now, that doesn't mean that when (being positive!) the opportunity for the big one comes I'm going to hold off - if everything lines up, and I am happy with it, I'm in all the way. I will be starting up my microdosing routine again, and will be dosing at higher levels (most likely .5 grams, tho I may do .2 at first, just to get re-acquainted). Now all I have to do is find someone to trip sit with me :)

 

Thank you, TVCasualty, and everyone else here on this wonderful site! You are all so amazing!


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#284 TVCasualty

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Posted 13 November 2019 - 07:25 PM

 

It's also a state of mind thing - that which you give your attention to becomes your reality

 

That reminds me of when I was a raft guide and I had a realization that some good advice for whitewater was also good for life: Don't stare at the big rock that you don't want to hit! Look at the route around it instead!

 

It's been serving me well ever since, even if I haven't always been able to read the water well enough to find a way around a big rock or two along the way. That's where self-rescue techniques come into play, but now I'm probably taking this metaphor a bit too far, lol.

 

Keep breathing!


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#285 TVCasualty

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Posted 14 November 2019 - 07:50 PM

I want to make sure everyone following this thread knows about this one: https://mycotopia.ne...on-microdosing/

 

Watch that video. It's the future, and illuminating the path to legalization.


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#286 OldAndMiserable

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Posted 17 November 2019 - 06:50 PM

I love that video!!! I watched it a few months ago, and it was so good! I totally watched it again today :p Still just as awesome! This was one of the things that got me started in microdosing... Dr. Fadiman is AMAZING!!! Take me with you when you go to lunch with him! Haha!!


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#287 OldAndMiserable

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Posted 27 November 2019 - 10:57 PM

So I have been doing a lot of research into the very hard to describe topic of "What to Expect When Tripping", and I came across a number of sites that, for some reason, I hadn't come across before, and I wanted to share them here for people to read. They seem to offer a lot of information, and they have certainly helped to alleviate a lot of my worries. 

 

https://michaelpolla...ics-risk-today/

https://www.reddit.c...equently_asked/

https://thethirdwave...-mushroom-trip/

https://entheonation...oms-experience/

https://tripsafe.org...o-take-shrooms/

 

Hope these can offer you all some help!



#288 elfstone

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Posted 03 December 2019 - 06:47 PM

My view on microdosing has just been synergized by Paul Stamets patent on combining Psilocybe, niacin and Lion’s Mane. My wife and I utilize the derrumbe mycelium grown out on brown rice, niacin and Lion’s mane with amazing results. Highly recommended!


https://medium.com/p...rks-3cfd6d9f08b


https://medium.com/@...il-594666d8b216
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#289 flashingrooster

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Posted 03 December 2019 - 08:13 PM

My view on microdosing has just been synergized by Paul Stamets patent on combining Psilocybe, niacin and Lion’s Mane. My wife and I utilize the derrumbe mycelium grown out on brown rice, niacin and Lion’s mane with amazing results. Highly recommended!


https://medium.com/p...rks-3cfd6d9f08b


https://medium.com/@...il-594666d8b216

 

Do you grow your own lions mane or buy the pills?



#290 elfstone

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Posted 05 December 2019 - 09:20 AM

I grow my own and I also purchase the pills from Swanson


https://www.swansonv...-500-mg-60-caps


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