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Mastering the Trip


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#1 KaldtFjell94

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Posted 04 July 2019 - 02:14 PM

New guy here looking for info on which strains to seek and how to do them for what I'm trying to achieve.  Someday I will learn to grow and intend to include growing and tripping into my life as regularly as exercise and diet/healing.

Until then, let me briefly share my best and worst experiences:

My best trip was my second trip on about 2.5g of an unknown strain.  Within 5 minutes of consumption I was very obviously on the rise.  I lifted weights to manage the anxiety and felt very strong and athletic.  Eventually time started to slow and my attention was all over the place.  I went to my bed and layed down and sorta dreamed about the universe and saw all existence as like a tree and its roots of the earth.  When I woke up, I felt so happy to be alive and had so much energy and positive emotions.  I felt totally at peace with my existence and understood why I was where I was in life and had made every decision I had.  I had spent the previous 3 days working on a guitar amp and was playing it and I swore I could hear the electricity coming from the wall, through the circuit I had designed, the guitar, and finally the speakers.

FWIW, I don't do weed.  I panic and can't form sentences or function at all.  Me on this shroom trip, however, was just so great and I could think clearly and understand everything and just enjoy life.  I noticed a subtle oil-on-water sheen to the walls, bed, and curtains.  I would say that this trip ultimately saved my life, as in the next three months that would follow, 3 of my ex platoon-mates from the army would commit suicide, including the officer/platoon leader.

Fast forwarding, my next trip came after being homeless in the woods of central Oregon for about a year.  I was in a better place as I had done landscaping and wildland firefighting and had payed off some debt.  I did 5g of a strain simply labeled "cambodian" at night in a little one-room shack with no running water I was able to afford after a season of firefighting.  I didn't see any movement or rainbow sheen but did notice a depth to the stars that night that seemed to be enhanced.  I felt so confident in myself and felt that I understood what I needed to do.  Over the next week I appologized and befriended people I had either ghosted or left hanging due to massive anxiety I had unknowingly lived with my whole live.  I stopped drinking for about a month and ate mostly just meat and vegetables and was incredibly happy.

Earlier this year after I lost my place to live and was back in my van, friends encouraged me to seek a VA claim/disability rating.  My first screening immediately brought back all the pain and anxiety I thought I had beat.  All the positive progress I had made was gone instantly.  For months I asked everyone I knew for shrooms to help me break past it.  I eventually found a girlfriend and finally got some shrooms labeled "ecuadorian" and did about 2g, deadlifting and doing squats while on the rise.  It took an hour before I started getting sleepy.  I slept for about 4 hours with an incredible body high.  Everything in the room was moving and I dreamed of plants coming down and touching me ( weird, I know).  When my girlfriend woke me, I was super inattentive and confused and lethargic.  Nothing like that energetic happy and clear-headed experience from before.  I tried again recently with the last 4g and had a similar experience minus the visuals.  It was like the whole trip was only the 5-minute peak I had had previously, but for 5 hours, and I never got over that hump to the gental and liberated come-down I remembered so fondly before.

I did theropee and Neuro-evaluations through the VA and came to no conclusion on anything other than possible childhood trauma and a form of obsessive ADHD and Ironically may just re-join the army since I can't seem to find my place in the civilian world, but In secret I still have faith in the psilocybin.

Anyone have any insight as to why my most recent trip was so different from my earlier ones?



#2 gelsse

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Posted 10 July 2019 - 04:22 PM

Hi!

 

Interesting to read about your experiences. I am new here as well. Not new in the world of mushrooms and other natural psychoactives though :blush:. I Think I even saved my life together with or thanks to them.

Giving you a definitive answer is very hard, if not impossible. You and we all know that it depends so much on your mendset and the setting. Where are you standing in your life, what keeps you occupied or worried, how well connected do you feel to your spiritual and physical self. It can be so many things. You might want to look at it from an chemical or scientific or therapeutic or spiritual angle. It all depends on what you as a person believe in. And all is right.

In my personal experience I see the things happening in my ceremony or trip as a mirror: it might reflect who I really am, deep down all the misery i think I am experiencing. It might also reflect the current state of my life: misery misery misery (or joy joy joy of course :tongue:) Reminding my self that it is not about having atrip I perceive as good, but what it has to tell me. So it might also tell me: 'Look what you are making of your life you idiot, now f*cking WORK for it man!' those messages are hard and caring at the same time.

With ayahuasca I experienced that at a certain point it stopped telling, teaching and nurturing me. It was like looking at blank pages during ceremony, not knowing what to draw or write, not being able to connect to the maestros. I know what it is... It simpoly tells me: "I told you all, i showed you all, you had loads of fun and processes lots of things. For now I stop showing you all these nice visuals and warm feelings. First you have work to do",
But again, this last alinea is how these kind of things work for me. And sometimes it might work totally different.

If I might give you an advice, try to implement some moments or hours for some serious introspection after you have had some mushrooms, and see what the message is. Be open for hard lessons as well.



#3 PJammer24

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Posted 11 July 2019 - 12:54 PM

Disclaimer:  I am by no means a doctor and this is from my personal experience alone...

 

If you expect to "beat" anxiety and never experience it again, I think you are chasing a red herring... Anxiety is something we evolved because it is necessary and it aided humans in survival... If we didn't experience anxiety, we would probably all be in prison right now due to doing dumb things without considering the consequences. Anxiety is natural and good in a lot of ways... In my experience, having no anxiety is akin to simply not feeling or not caring... That being said, anxiety can run amok. For me it is all about managing my anxiety so that it does not take control... A lot of my anxiety in the past has been irrational and being able to recognize those irrational fears has allowed me to manage them to the point that I rarely experience the anxiety I did when younger....

 

i think that one of the reasons hallucinogens aid anxiety is because on a subconscious level, even after you have surpassed the noticeable effects, you are recognizing and dealing with irrational thinking... You are better prepared to properly manage anxiety when it begins to run amok...

 

I only mention this because I think that if your goal is to irradiate anxiety, you will be disappointed... Anxiety is a fact of life that can not be escaped and for me, it is about dealing with that natural anxiety in a healthy way...

 

If it wasn't for anxiety, your ancient ancestors would not have stock piled food for the long winters and would have been trying to remove sabortoothed kittens from their dens to keep as pets... In my estimation, both situations would have not ended well and you would probably not being reading this right now...!!

 

LMFAO... A sabortoothed tiger kitten would have been a bad ass watch "dog"!! That dude, because you know there were at least a few, who managed to keep one as a pet was a total badass G!


Edited by PJammer24, 11 July 2019 - 03:36 PM.

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