Tonight I took 7 pairs of mushrooms paired with a large cup of unsweetened coco with a dash of cayenne. Once I had taken the mushrooms I was in a special place. Picking up on a divine frequency I had met once before. I basked in the love of this vibration staring at the candle through the night. At first I could feel every pain in my body, my back ached, my shoulders are all fucked up, and my neck was tight. Then as the 20 minute point passed I was told to take more, I took two more pairs. I returned to the alter and waited. Now I was fully in it, I was where I needed to be.
After awhile, I got up and left the alter to lay on my couch. There I met some Mantis being of love. But I felt they were aliens who abducted people. I thought it rude to abduct people however I have no other quarrels with them.
I went upstairs and the dream I was in got just a little bit darker. The candle glowed with ancient knowledge only available to those who wish to listen to it, to receive it it takes practice. I then laid on the bed and knew it was time to surrender that which doesn't serve me. I hacked, spat, and squealed, my dog was in the room at the time but he was totally chillin. Whilst I lay on my back I felt a sensation like a snake was crawling on me, the snake was on my neck, slightly tightly but I could still breath and I focused on my breath. As I get up to go use the toilet to spit in I felt that I was throwing out some psychic stuff, as if my spit and waste from the body was a way of disposing of mental darkness.
I go to sit down and feel myself sweating, I felt slimy. goop gop was my sweat.
The final part of the trip went like this:
I really wanted to smoke. I decided I didn't want to smoke weed instead I would smoke Mugwort. I tried to roll but I couldn't for the life of me. Then I look around for a pipe. As I do my new house mate comes home, the door is open and we greet. I ask if I could borrow her pipe, she doesn't have one and instead says I should skip it and go to bed. I reply that it just isn't one of those nights I cant fall asleep now. She say good luck and I say goodbye. As she returns to her room and the door closes I felt as if I had done something terrible and exposed myself. She went into the shower and I was afraid she was calling the cops. All I could do is return to the alter and pray. Pray for a second chance that I could be spared.
I pleaded for my life as a free man. I was terrified I blew my cover. I feared my family being taken from me. I felt I had bragged too much, talked about mushrooms too much. I felt I had wasted my life, I only have one shot at this life and I had blown it before it ever really started.
I am young, I aspire to have a family. I aspire to marry my current partner. I want to spread love and life to the world. I want to lear the knowledge and share with my culture. I wrote:
I can be a better husband.
I can be a better person.
I can be a better roommate
I can be of assistance to those who need it
Please please let me live my life
I can be better
At a certain point i realized I was gonna be ok. I messaged a friend and asked her about the roommate. She said that I was gonna be alright, that this roommate had been with her whilst she tripped. I am very thankful that this friend was there.
I ran a bath and put epsom salt Lavender flavor in. I eased up and turned the lights off and went to bed. I couldn't sleep well that night. I ingested at 9PM and could finally sleep with some assistance or red wine and sleepy tea around 4AM.
I went to work the next day and wrote this out.
I am so grateful for these connections I've made here on Mycotopia. To those who have helped me on my journey I am grateful and I love you.