I had a dream that I would like to share.
Quick background: I'm in my mid-thirties with a wife and 3 kids. I had fun with several hard drugs in my early twenties but have not done anything other than marijuana and a little blow since. I am a daily pot smoker.
About 10 months ago I found out about JRE podcast and was fascinated by the episodes on psychedelics, particularly DMT. It sent me on a mission to have an earth-shaking experience. Looking up how to make DMT led me here. I quickly realized that making DMT was above my skill level but while browsing the boards here I learned about cacti trips. After lots and lots of studying and planning, it was set that I was going to do a cactus trip with two friends, let’s call the Tritt and Clam. We all went to high school together but live pretty far apart at this point. As the plan came together, Tritt was to fly into my local airport where I would pick him up and drive about 4 hours to meet Clam at a very cabin.
This plan had been set for at least 6 months. I booked the cabin after selecting one that met very specific needs. This cabin was remote, backed up to 1000's of acres of state forest, and left a zero percent chance of seeing another person. When we were about 2 months out, I placed an order online for 5 lbs. of bridgesii from what I thought was a very reputable source. Let's just say her legacy lives on. When it came, it was 6 lengths ranging from 10"-16" and weighing it at 2465 grams. I de-spined them and put them back into the box and kept them in my garage. I left them there until the week of the trip, which was to take place on a Saturday with the prep happening on Friday.
The Monday of trip week I take the cacti out of the box and begin to remove the skin. WOW does that SUCK. I gave myself an hour to skin all 6 lengths, but after an hour I only had one done and didn't have enough time to continue. At some point through all my research I read that freezing helps the skin come off. So, the one length I can done I sliced like a cucumber and cut out the center core. I put that into a Ziplock and the rest of the other lengths into another Ziplock and into the freezer they went. I nice person here mentioned that I should go through 3 freeze thaw cycles anyways to help break up the cell wall of the cacti. So, Monday they go into the freezer. Tuesday, I remove them, and they thaw all day, back into the freezer Tuesday night. Wednesday, I pulled them out and began to remove the skin from the other 5 lengths. While it was easier, it was still a pain in the ass. I was not prepared for how tedious or time consuming this skinning process was. The frozen cactus was just dripping slime while I skinned it. I had to skin over a bowl to collect all the slime and not lose any. It was amazing the amount of slime that came off these as I skinned them. I finished the process in about 3 hours. At that point I took all the chopped-up cacti and put it into a blender with filtered water and blended this into a smoothie consistency. Then the contents were poured back into gallon zip lock bags, double bagged and put back into the freezer for the third freeze thaw cycle. they stayed in the freezer until early Friday morning.
I picked up Tritt from the airport about 9:30 AM and off to the cabin we went. We needed to stop for lunch and some supplies which put us to the cabin about 2:30. I immediately put the pot on the stove and dumped the mostly thawed cactus smoothie into the pot. I rinsed the bags with distilled water and put about 2/3 gallon into the pot and set the temp to medium high. Within 10-15 minutes it was boiling. It frothed up but then sucked back down. It wasn't simmering but it also wasn’t roaring, boiling somewhere in between. We boiled this for 90 minutes, at which point we strained it through a t-shirt. Rather than waiting for it to cool we used tongs to hold the pulp and a stick to twist the t-shirt. This left hardly any liquid left in the pulp. Back into the pot with another 2/3 gallon of distilled water. We boiled this again, and strained. Repeated a third time. After the third time, all the liquid was combined and put back into the pot. I set a fan above the pot and reduced it down to 12-16 ounces. we divided this into 3 equal doses and let this sit out overnight. After we were done with the tea, we found the Clam was coming that night, but not able to stay and not able to partake the next day.
We had a 7 AM wakeup call and had fasted from 7 PM the night before. A nice friend here mentioned about using something called Miracle Berry which makes bitter things taste sweet. The first thing we did was toss a Miracle Berry in our mouths and suck it until it was gone. then we mixed up the tea which had separated some, so we wanted it all back into a solution. Then we had a cheers and down it went. I plugged my nose and had a chaser of grapefruit juice. With the miracle berry, plugging my nose, and chasing it I could not taste the tea; HOWEVER, I could absolutely tell this shit was vile and the nastiest thing I had ever consumed. While chugging my 4-5-ounce dose my body wanted to heave it back up. I got it all down and chugged a bunch of my grapefruit juice (which was weirdly sweet from the miracle berry). I rinsed my tea cup out with grapefruit juice and chugged the remnants down as well. The wait was on.
About 30 minutes in I thought I felt weird. I couldn’t tell but acknowledged it could have been placebo. After another 15 minutes or so I could tell something was happening, albeit very faint. All this time I feel bloated and can tell that a puke is coming. I go sit outside and try to focus on keeping it down for a longer period.
T+ 1:15 I puke but feel much better, like the pressure from my bloating was released. I felt a slow buzzing, but I was not tripping at this point. Tritt did not puke.
T + 2:00 - 4:00 (9:00 AM - 11:00 AM) we had our back packs packed and decided to go exploring in the forest. We had tunes playing and slowly took our time looking at everything. Colors were much brighter; things were fuzzy, and the body high was strong. I had a few minor visuals, for example I bent down to touch a mushroom and when I did the mushroom pulled away but at the same time swallowed my finger. This was (unbeknownst to us before) the absolute best forest we could ask for to trip in. there was an ocean of ferns for ages, moss covering every branch and tree that had fallen over. Plants that grew so thick and beautifully that they looked like a rolling neon green ocean. there was a lot of empathy for nature, trying not to step on plants and trample them. There were weird vibes with some places that we just avoided and went a different route. We would have stayed in the forest for hours, but we decided we wanted to split the third dose, so we made our way back to the cabin
T+4:00 At this point I felt like I should be peaking and tripping balls, but I wasn't. Everything described above was very mild and I was very lucid through all of this. We were smoking bowls throughout which seemed to kick up the body high. We split the third dose into two and downed it (after some more miracle berry and a used a chaser again). This time I had no stomach discomfort. It could have been there but the high my body was feeling masked it.
T+6:00 We are still at the cabin at this point because our bodies don't really want to move a whole lot. If I had to compare the high to something it would be rolling, but it wasn't like rolling. It was intense waves that made us lethargic, but at the same time I was still lucid through this. It kind of felt drunk but more euphoric and less sloppy. If I closed my eyes, I felt like I was floating. We were laying in the grass closing our eyes and feeling the warm sun on us. There were no CEV's for me. The OEV's were very few and far between. At this point I was bored. I wanted to do something, but my body did not want to move a whole lot. I decided we should take a ride (I know this is stupid and don't condone this). We pull out of the cabin and go for a few miles down a 45-mph road. 45 is too fast for me to feel comfortable at this point, so I'm going about 30 and subsequently pissing off people behind us. I decide that this is not a good situation and turn off on the first side road I see. This road ends up being perfect, like it was destiny. This is a dirt road that goes for miles through the state forest. Lucking I drive a truck because a car would not have made it. We are now able to chill and I'm driving between 5-10 mph taking everything in. We stop where a gas line had been cut through the forest. Staring out into the distance, everything looked like it was painted with a brush. Tritt is pretty fucked up at this point, seeing a lot more things than I am. He is describing things changing colors and geometric patterns coming out of everything. he's also confused about a lot of things, but definitely enjoying himself. We travel the road for about an hour until it ends on another busier road. I turn around and we go back the way we came, up through the forest. When we get back on the main road, I get uncomfortable again going at high speeds. I remember taking my hat off while we were driving and feeling like my head detached from my body. I was glad to get back to the cabin.
T+8:00. Back at the cabin now and Tritt can't get out of the truck. He stays sitting in it for about an hour and I sit on the back deck that looks into the forest. I smoke another bowl and relax watching a bird chirp at me. I couldn’t figure out what he wanted but then I saw I was about 5 feet away from a nest. I move down the porch to give him space while he/she tends to their babies. It was fascinating watching this. after about an hour or so Tritt has joined me. He sits where I was initially which makes the bird upset. I felt such empathy for this bird, and I felt sad that we were fucking up its routine. All it wanted was to feed its babies and we were preventing that. But the body high overrode my feelings of empathy and didn’t really want to move. We sat there another hour and let the bird have its space.
T + 10:00 We haven’t really eaten much all day. At some point I had a slice or two of watermelon and a couple bites of blueberries but that was it. I had no appetite but knew I had to eat. I had brought some BBQ leftovers that all they needed was heated up. I threw that in the over and made myself a sandwich. I didn't want to eat it, but it wasn’t like I was making myself sick. I got it down which I’m sure my body was thankful for even though I felt fine. We throw Pulp Fiction on and watch it and just relax. I feel like I’m coming down at this point, but it’s not a dreaded feeling like ecstasy or coke is. It’s still feeling good, just not as high as I was.
T+ 13:00 Clam shows back up and we smoke a bowl together and tell him all about our day. I still feel mildly high but I'm 90% back to normal at this point. We hang out for a while until he has to go back to his family. Tritt and I go back in and watch Pineapple Express.
T+ 17:00 I'm in bed and easily drift off to sleep. I wake up after about 6 hours feeling fine except a bit tired.
This was a fun experience for me, but not nearly what I was looking for. Something went wrong, either my preparation, or I got week cactus. It was enough to fuck me up, but not the earth shaker I desired, or should have gotten out of the amount of cacti that was consumed. We split 6 feet of bridgesii 2 ways. 1200+ grams a piece of fresh cacti. This should have been a heroic dose to send us to another dimension. At least I thought. That’s not what I got, not even close. I wanted this to be intense and life changing, and it was not. There were times that I was just bored of it. There was also a feeling of unsatisfaction during the trip. Like I couldn’t be content with what I had and what was going on in the moment. For example, I would want to smoke a bowl and when I got done I wanted a cigarette and when I was done with that I wanted a Gatorade and when I drank that I wanted a lollipop and when I had all these and there was nothing left I would think about what I wanted because I wanted something other than what I had and what I was doing in the moment. Lack of feeling content, pretty much all day. I wasn't looking for a party drug but being that the most I got out of this was an intense body high, it just wasn't very fun. I don't know what went wrong, but I am left disappointed. It was such a buildup and so much anticipation for nearly a year that with the letdown I had I don't think I’ll attempt this again. The point where I am in my life, I can't get away to do things like this often. The weekend probably cost me close to $1,000 and that’s fine if I got what I hoped to get out of it. Being that I didn't, I don't think I will try this again for fear of being let down again. Unless all you kind people here can pinpoint what went wrong and why I was left desiring more. Reading trip reports about this I have little doubt and what I am desiring can be achieved with cactus, but I thought I took a lot of precautions to make sure it did. I selected bridgesii over pachanoi because it’s supposed to be consistently higher mescaline content. I went through 3 freeze thaw cycles. I boiled it for three pulls for a total of 6 hours. It wasn’t a completely wasted experience and I definitely felt something, just not what I was expecting and hoping for. Tritt had a more intense experience than I did, more disassociated from reality and stronger visuals. Maybe that’s because I threw up and hour and fifteen minutes in and he didn’t throw up at all. Anyways, thanks for reading, I know it was a long one. Also, thank you to everyone who helped me here. You guys rock.