I hope this is the right forum for this. Otherwise, sorry.
English is my second language, so my grammar is not perfect.
I am new on this forum, and I hope this post doesn’t give you the first impression that I’m insane. But this is something I have wanted to ask fellow users of psychedelic substances for quite some time.
I have tripped about 100 times (guesstimating). While that isn’t much compared to the experienced psychedelic travelers on this forum, I have noticed a pattern that I find interesting.
Has anyone else felt that their psychedelic journey proceeds in the form of ”story arcs”, like in manga, anime and other stories?
Let me explain how I mean. So, a ”story arc” is when several episodes/chapters deal with the same issue (usually to defeat an antagonist). In the story arcs, there are often several minor antagonists/obstacles, and minor successes, on the way to defeat the ”main antagonist”.
So, this is a pattern I have noticed in my psychedelic journey so far (on high doses). In the form of metaphors, of course. Where the ”main antagonist” is an obstacle the psychedelic traveler needs to overcome to improve themselves, and the ”main character” is, of course, the psychedelic traveler (in other words, us).
I remember my first few trips, slightly less than ten years ago. The first three ones were like some sort of ”prologue”, it was kind of like it was meant to just give me a feeling of how psychedelics work.
Then, for me, the first ”story arc” started. I am ”fighting” my third one now, I’d say. The former two have been several trips each, each of them leading me to overcome some sort of ”mental obstacle” to improve myself, with successes and defeats on the way. And in this metaphor ”mental obstacle” would be equal to ”main antagonist”. It seems, to me, that the obstacles become harder and harder to overcome for each ”story arc”. For each of the former two I have overcome in the end, I have noticed very clear, sudden self-improvement in aspects of my life.
…Of course, I know that hte TRUE AND FINAL ”main antagonist” is the ego, the source of all other antagonists. Maybe that one is impossible to defeat once and for all? If it is possible, I have a long way to go to get there, that’s for sure.
Currently, I feel that I am in a ”battle” for my self-confidence, something I lost a long time ago. And this one is TOUGH. I have been in this one for at least 50 trips, with many defeats, and a few minor successes. I am not even close to winning. But I will win, because the only way one can lose is to give up. You know, since psychedelics can’t kill us (unless one uses RC-chemicals or other suspicious stuff, that is).
…Sorry if I’m rambling here, and maybe even seem mad. But I am really curious to know what you guys think about this.
And, again, sorry if my english isn’t perfect.
/With love, Nibano