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Didn't go my way...


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#21 Wimzers

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Posted 02 June 2020 - 09:56 PM

Awareness is what is. Awareness is the start of all that is with this body. All senses arise from awareness. Thoughts that arise come from awareness and the thoughts are not me. Some thoughts are used for figuring out life while others complicate life, yet those thoughts are not me because I am awareness. Attention arises from awareness and focuses on what awareness chooses for attention to focus onto. Everything comes from awareness. 

 

During my trip a few weeks back something said, "Just be" at the end. Likely from all the reading and watching of videos, but not having thoughts and only watching while outside under the stars was beautiful. Maybe I'm only understanding intellectually about awareness and not having the experience without mush. 

 

Driving down the rode I see a turtle, I being awareness. My awareness has stopped my car, not my foot. My foot only pressed the brake, but my awareness sent signals through my nervous system to the correct musculature to press on the brake to stop the car. Same goes for opening my door to get out of the car. My eyes are being guided by awareness as well. The turtle is picked up and placed on the side of the road. My awareness didn't hear the truck coming around the corner and I'm struck. I'm now unconscious, but just prior to being smacked, I was conscious. ------ Too simplified because the enormous amount of actions taken for a simple movement in the body is way above my education level, but I'm aware of awareness. 

 

Again, maybe only understanding intellectually and not experiencing. 


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#22 Alder Logs

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Posted 02 June 2020 - 10:39 PM

...not having thoughts and only watching while outside under the stars was beautiful. 

I know what you mean.  Some states are amazing to experience.  The thing about states, whether exalting, or devastating, they come and they go.   It's all there in the witnessing principle (whatever that is), in aware being.  Finding out that intellectual understanding isn't it, that's valuable in the seeing of it, yes?


Edited by Alder Logs, 02 June 2020 - 10:41 PM.

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#23 Wimzers

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Posted 03 June 2020 - 03:45 PM

 

...not having thoughts and only watching while outside under the stars was beautiful. 

I know what you mean.  Some states are amazing to experience.  The thing about states, whether exalting, or devastating, they come and they go.   It's all there in the witnessing principle (whatever that is), in aware being.  Finding out that intellectual understanding isn't it, that's valuable in the seeing of it, yes?

 

 

Yes. If there was only a switch to turn off the noise.


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#24 Alder Logs

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Posted 03 June 2020 - 05:59 PM

Who hates the noise?  See if that guy is actually something. 

 

What blew my mind, just after that download sort of phase, was my mind went quiet, once it saw my story of 'me' for what it had been.  My identity had been smashed, and I was no one, with no true history, and the social bummer that had precipitated the whole thing had erased the story I had of a future (those are all bullshit, because no one knows).  I had never experienced a quiet mind like that.  It went on for days or weeks before the wheels started cranking back up to make a story out of that.   Mind's gonna mind. 

 

The thing is, while loving the state I was in, living alone as I had for so long, the state was as being totally in love.  As the thoughts started to reemerge, the glorious state waned.  Mind started making something out of that, tossing out arguments of cause and effect, judging me, as this new story, a new bullshit story, to be accurate.  The thing is, I saw it all happening.   Awareness misses nothing, as it is.  Mind misses lots, as it thinks it is. 

 

So, the quiet mind state ended, at least as it had been for that short glorious stint.  But the thing that could see it happening was the seat of the true quiet.   Here's what I learned, and I hope you grok it, all the noise happens in the silence.  The silence is the background of everything.  It is the base state, the stateless state.  It's never not here. 

 

The witnessing has nothing to say about what is in the witnessing.  The mind does.  We have a mind for lots of good reasons, but we don't have to believe we are what it does, and it does stuff that makes no sense at all, all too often.  So forget that it wants to be you.  It never was.  We have hands, feet, eyes, ears, minds.   Each component has a natural capacity to go with this experience of being one of these humans. 

 

Just see that you are seeing, and it might just dawn that it's what you are, the verbing of it.

 

 

What you are looking for is what is looking.

~St. Francis of Asissi


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#25 Sidestreet

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Posted 04 June 2020 - 04:42 AM

 

Been trying to talk the wife into a strong acid trip for a year or more. Somehow there is always something keeping it from happening. Recently we decided to go with mushies, as it takes less of an investment of time and self and usually comes with a lot of positive reinforcement as a side effect..............

 

Woof, that's brutal Coop.  Mushrooms are no substitute for L (and vice versa) and that's why.  They want to get so personal sometimes.  I'm sure it will turn out to be a valuable experience but no damn fun at all, huh?

 

I hope you get to eat some acid like you wanted, soon.






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