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Finding value in the low-level trip / self-therapy


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#1 ElPirana

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Posted 09 June 2020 - 08:37 AM

A few years ago, just starting out on growing mushrooms, I wanted to use it as a way to break out of my mold, to discover myself, and to find healing. As so many of us hear about the big trips, you know the Terence McKenna heroic dose, I almost immediately moved into taking doses between 5-7 grams each time. While I admit that taking those large trips have had quite an impact on me, I have recently (over the past year) found a wonderful benefit of taking lower doses.

When I refer to a low, I mean between 1.5 to 3.5 dry grams. I only started taking lower doses so that my wife and I could trip together, it’s impossible for me to interact with others when I’m blasted into another world.

I do a lot of meditating while on these low doses. I don’t typically set out to do so, it just sort of naturally moves in that direction. Some of the things I experience are: memories from childhood, connection to my emotions, recalling forgotten emotions/feelings from childhood, connections to loved ones and friends/colleagues, empathy, and sometimes remembering what feels like past lives.

This last weekend I took 1.5 grams of some AA+ cubes. As my wife fell asleep, I headed to the kitchen to get some oranges to snack on while I watched a movie. I started thinking about earlier in the evening when I put my kids to bed. While I was hugging my older son (he definitely gives and receives love through physical contact) I felt him just sink into my hug. I was thinking about the love I felt for him, how no matter what he does, no matter how he goes about his life, I do and always will accept him completely. That led me to realize how my parents have always accepted me, no matter what I do or how I live my life, I always have a deep acceptance from them. I felt so grateful for their love!

Later, after the movie finished, I stood out on my deck for a while looking at the stars and the trees. I thought about my bosses, how I interact and work with them on more of a partnership level rather than a boss-employee level. I work with them more as a mutual benefit for us both. I really don’t care about my income, or raises or promotions, but simply try to do a good job because that’s the thing to do. It seems like that reflects in my relationship with them.

As I went to bed, I connected with my brother’s struggles. Outwardly he looks like he’s doing good, but he’s killing himself by pushing too hard. Always go, go, go. He’s constantly tired, he’s been gaining weight, he can’t think straight sometimes. He works himself to death, makes so many commitments to everyone and can’t stop. I make little comments to him about this from time to time, but I don’t know if he’s ready to change. I know a lot of his problems stem from our childhood, growing up with an alcoholic and abusive dad, a mom who had been abused herself as a child, and living in poverty. I’ve seen the long term effects of those things on myself and have been working through so much of it over the past few years, but I don’t think my brother has figure out yet how to do the same for himself.

There was another trip a few months ago where I got in touch with my parents, felt through how they struggled through their own childhoods. I gained a deeper understanding of them, a connection by sort of experiencing their experiences. I was able to forgive them for so much, and had so much healing in myself through the experience.

If anyone else has found the healing benefits of low doses I’d love to hear about it.
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#2 Guy1298

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Posted 09 June 2020 - 09:59 AM

Definitely! :). 

 

I sometimes suspect that I might not have ever really tripped hard... when I first started I was doing those 5g+ doses only because the mushrooms didn't care enough, or were smart enough not, to open my eyes. Very low doses provide so much nowadays. And I've noticed that lower and lower doses feel much more intense... I'm not lying when I say that taking 1g nowadays is equivalent to taking 5g in the early days of my use. I've gained much.

 

I also grew up with an alcoholic father and an abused mother. Mushrooms have let me revisit countless unresolved feelings, emotions, events.  


Edited by Guy1298, 09 June 2020 - 10:00 AM.

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#3 Alder Logs

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Posted 09 June 2020 - 11:04 AM

 

I also grew up with an alcoholic father and an abused mother.  

Geez, a lot of that going around.



#4 ElPirana

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Posted 09 June 2020 - 03:00 PM

Definitely! :). 
 
I sometimes suspect that I might not have ever really tripped hard... when I first started I was doing those 5g+ doses only because the mushrooms didn't care enough, or were smart enough not, to open my eyes. Very low doses provide so much nowadays. And I've noticed that lower and lower doses feel much more intense... I'm not lying when I say that taking 1g nowadays is equivalent to taking 5g in the early days of my use. I've gained much.

My 5+ gram trips were really quite intense. Sometimes on the come-up I would say to the mushroom “please be kind to me!” or something of the sort LOL. Nowadays with low doses, I often don’t even have visuals. I rarely have visuals on mid-level doses either.

A couple other things: low doses allow me to remember everything that I experience during the trip, often not possible on high doses. I can get in touch with fear on a low dose or follow my thoughts back to their origination.

I also grew up with an alcoholic father and an abused mother. Mushrooms have let me revisit countless unresolved feelings, emotions, events.

For most of my life I thought that having grown up in an alcoholic family didn’t have really any negative impact on my life. A couple months ago I came across this list of characteristics of adult children of alcoholics. I was amazed at how many of those fit me. I had actually figured a lot of this out over the past couple years and the list doesn’t really fit anymore, but I had never put together that the dysfunctions of my parents had such an impact on me and how I interacted with the world around me.

https://adultchildre...e/laundry-list/

The Laundry List – 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic

1. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
2. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
3. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
4. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
5. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
6. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
7. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
8. We became addicted to excitement.
9. We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue.”
10. We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
11. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
12. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
13. Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
14. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.


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#5 Alder Logs

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Posted 09 June 2020 - 04:49 PM

I went to a few meetings about forty eight years ago. 


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#6 Seee

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Posted 09 June 2020 - 05:10 PM

this is what i eat, just so it doesntsound like im telling you what to do without examples..

i cant wait to trip again.. its been along time for me, and i dont think ive ever been this healthy when ive tripped.. trips are always better when you have great health going on (imo)...

was this trip during the day? (no, i guess not since your wife was sleeping)
day tripping is safer than night tripping for me.. the night is dark and full of terrors

Attached Thumbnails

  • foods i eat.PNG

Edited by Seee, 09 June 2020 - 05:15 PM.

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#7 FLASHINGROOSTER

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Posted 09 June 2020 - 07:49 PM

I suppose dosage isn't really an exact science in regards to grams as everyone has different strains and genetics. I find that both high and low doses seem to treat me right.

 

In general I had a nice pocket there of taking around a one gram dose and receiving pleasant mild trips with plenty of euphoria. Just low enough to be able to interact as a normal human being, but still enough to feel like I am flying someone else's space ship. Just slightly warpy visuals, the dominant being vibrant colour. It can open up your heart in the short or long term which depending on your situation could be a good or bad thing for you. It can be a ride if you have been suppressing things

 

The lower doses became more frequent than the large for me lately. I had some crazy dreams or whatever you want to call them on the last moonshot, awesome visuals, but like you mentioned elpirana that can often come at the price of memory.

 

Really I pretty much just make it up as I go though.  One pill, two pill, three pillsss, ahahahaha 

 

Sesame-Street-the-Count-001.jpg

 

Still important to blast off into space, but flying in low orbit has plenty of benefit too.


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#8 Alpoehi

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Posted 10 June 2020 - 03:26 PM

I have become a bit cautious with higher doses and certain strains. I stayed 3 weeks sober because I had the feeling I could not finish with a trip.

It stirred up some very deep subconscious stuff that I was hardly able to solve.

In the follow-up I overworked myself in creative projects for finding the missing link.

I learned a lot from that. But the burden of this trip is obvious. I pushed very hard to find the answer to something I did not know what it is. In the end it worked out fine. Satisfied.

 

Today I had 2,5 gram with a different strain, a moderate dose. On such a lower dose I can still decide if I wanna do something in the household.

I find it very satisfying to be the helping hand for others when on a trip for example. I love folding towels from the clothes dryer for example. Fresh, warm ones of course. 

I love the fragrance, the warmth and the mild visuals I have when folding ... and the act of folding itself!  :blush:

I love that kind of thing when tripping. 

 

On mild doses I can also go better into my traumatized being. I learn to accept what is. I can get access to the reason of why things are as they are. 

 

That's why I prefer the moderate dosage. It's more grounding in the end.

 

Visuals depend a lot on the strain, IMHO. Thanks for sharing guys.


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#9 Dabluebonic

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Posted 11 June 2020 - 06:50 PM

One of my favorite trips was a 3g cube experience. Very detailed i relived a fishing trip with my father. This was roughly 25years ago when i was 5. Words cannot express the gratitude i feel to this day towards the shrooms that sparked that memory. I could see myself as a little boy. I could even smell the fire that was burning while we fished the river.
I've tripped alot harder sense and before then, but that was special. On higher doses i mostly just can't string 2 words together to form a sentence. But i also have alot to learn and more trips ahead.

Edited by Dabluebonic, 11 June 2020 - 06:59 PM.

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#10 Alder Logs

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Posted 14 June 2020 - 10:39 AM

I remember in my first psilocybin trip, the remembering of a nonsense word that I had formulated in my mind as an infant in my crib, and how I had laid there and laughed and laughed at it.  The word meant nothing, but I guess I had been in the right mood for some humor.  Remembering it on that trip was to be back there in that crib and watching what a mind could do.   It was a good perspective, and one that's hard to hang on to when the trip fades through reintegration with persona. 



#11 planetcaravan03

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Posted 30 June 2020 - 12:15 AM

A few years ago, just starting out on growing mushrooms, I wanted to use it as a way to break out of my mold, to discover myself, and to find healing. As so many of us hear about the big trips, you know the Terence McKenna heroic dose, I almost immediately moved into taking doses between 5-7 grams each time. While I admit that taking those large trips have had quite an impact on me, I have recently (over the past year) found a wonderful benefit of taking lower doses.

When I refer to a low, I mean between 1.5 to 3.5 dry grams. I only started taking lower doses so that my wife and I could trip together, it’s impossible for me to interact with others when I’m blasted into another world.

I do a lot of meditating while on these low doses. I don’t typically set out to do so, it just sort of naturally moves in that direction. Some of the things I experience are: memories from childhood, connection to my emotions, recalling forgotten emotions/feelings from childhood, connections to loved ones and friends/colleagues, empathy, and sometimes remembering what feels like past lives.

This last weekend I took 1.5 grams of some AA+ cubes. As my wife fell asleep, I headed to the kitchen to get some oranges to snack on while I watched a movie. I started thinking about earlier in the evening when I put my kids to bed. While I was hugging my older son (he definitely gives and receives love through physical contact) I felt him just sink into my hug. I was thinking about the love I felt for him, how no matter what he does, no matter how he goes about his life, I do and always will accept him completely. That led me to realize how my parents have always accepted me, no matter what I do or how I live my life, I always have a deep acceptance from them. I felt so grateful for their love!

Later, after the movie finished, I stood out on my deck for a while looking at the stars and the trees. I thought about my bosses, how I interact and work with them on more of a partnership level rather than a boss-employee level. I work with them more as a mutual benefit for us both. I really don’t care about my income, or raises or promotions, but simply try to do a good job because that’s the thing to do. It seems like that reflects in my relationship with them.

As I went to bed, I connected with my brother’s struggles. Outwardly he looks like he’s doing good, but he’s killing himself by pushing too hard. Always go, go, go. He’s constantly tired, he’s been gaining weight, he can’t think straight sometimes. He works himself to death, makes so many commitments to everyone and can’t stop. I make little comments to him about this from time to time, but I don’t know if he’s ready to change. I know a lot of his problems stem from our childhood, growing up with an alcoholic and abusive dad, a mom who had been abused herself as a child, and living in poverty. I’ve seen the long term effects of those things on myself and have been working through so much of it over the past few years, but I don’t think my brother has figure out yet how to do the same for himself.

There was another trip a few months ago where I got in touch with my parents, felt through how they struggled through their own childhoods. I gained a deeper understanding of them, a connection by sort of experiencing their experiences. I was able to forgive them for so much, and had so much healing in myself through the experience.

If anyone else has found the healing benefits of low doses I’d love to hear about it.

I sure hope to have some experiences such as this. Thank you for sharing :)


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#12 Mycol

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Posted 30 June 2020 - 01:53 PM

Ate a g of some peurto ricans this weekend and they rocked my socks ! Mind and body both had periods of energy, clarity had some good visuals too. I hadn’t had the chance to really spend some time in a study with them which is what I was looking to do and they took me places I didn’t know they had the power to go to on a smaller dose .

A little dab will do ya just right .

Edited by Mycol, 30 June 2020 - 01:55 PM.

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