Hopefully this won't be too long or seem like I am rambling on. Bare with me.....Fair warning there is some talk(non-graphic) about a sexual experience. If that bothers you please don't read.
So the psychedelic experience is fairly new to me. I have smoke quite my fair share of weed, probably your share as well. Due to my career I can't do that anymore and haven't smoked in close to seven years. However since most drug tests do not test for psychedelics........Go time.
After a couple decent 2g to 3g trips I decided last night to go for the "heroic" 5g dose.
Yesterday afternoon and last night we had some really wicked storms roll through the area. Extremely high straight line winds, barns were blown over, crops laid down, golf ball sized hail, lightning that made the sky look like a strobe light and blinding rain. I decided to wait until they passed before I got the ball rolling so it was a late start almost 9pm before I ingested them.
About 30-45 minutes later it was on I hopped in the shower put on my most comfortable t-shirt and shorts and by then the visuals were just insane. Sacred geometry patterns on everything. I was seeing Vehmic Rune shadows on the walls but I couldn't or didn't think to write down what it was to translate it. Everything was wavy or seemed to breath. Lights twinkling. Colors were so vibrant. The visuals lasted well past 3am.
My poor wife had become the center of my attention for pretty much the entire night After the shower I turned on Pandora and hit up the 90's alternative channel and instantly time traveled back to days when my wife and I started dating. We will be married 24 years this August. The way our lives have intertwined have pretty much formed another life in a good way. I can't really explain it. But to be able to look at our intertwined existence together I realized she completes me.
I have realized that I absolutely hate what social media has done to myself. We have all seen the people who just stare at their phones or a computer. I am one of those people. I am constantly on Facebook or YouTube. I can defend YouTube as I use it to educate myself or music. As a matter of fact I am listening to Tool's Vicarious as I am writing this up. Anyways, I have come to the conclusion that all the validation I have been looking for from my online friends has been wasted time. Trying to get people to listen to my point of view who probably won't understand or even care for that matter has been a huge waste of my time and I am finished. I will keep it around but rather than being on it for four hours a day, I am going to actually experience life. I am tired of vicariously experiencing life through others. That was a very overwhelming realization in a good way.
As the night started to wear down the wife and I had headed up stairs to have some fun. My only goal was her pleasure. I don't think that I had been that satisfied knowing that she had been brought to a very intense orgasm. To be honest I was having a very hard time myself staying aroused physically that I couldn't "perform". I had absolutely zero problems with it. It wasn't about me. It was a wonderful experience to know that I was totally cool with it.
Afterwards, we headed to back downstairs to let the dog out for one last time bed. Pitch black in our little town and the sky was clear as clear can be. I saw stars like never before. I just stood there in a night robe that was wide open just feeling the cool air on my body. Very intense and again overwhelming. I felt so small and insignificant in a good way.
We finally headed up to bed where she fell asleep almost instantly. She did not trip and i doubt she ever will. It scares her. She does smoke week though. I thought it to be a good idea to listen to some music. I love complex music so Heilung, Tool and Pink Floyd were on the menu. As an attempted musician I love hearing the chemistry of band and having been in an altered state of mind I realized that Tool is a band on another plane of existence. As with being in an altered state, it is almost obligatory to listen to Pink Floyd. Comfortably Numb almost brought me to tears. I almost forgot to breath during the guitar solos. Seriously.....That was *intense*.
My physical side effects I experienced were having to pee...a lot more than normal. I was also quite thirsty. My breathing seemed labored. Almost like I had walked up a few flights of stairs. The air was really heavy with humidity from the earlier storms so that may have had something to do with it. I had an extremely hard time maintaining an erection, to the point I gave up. I did get a fairly gnarly headache towards the end. After about seven hours I was ready for it to end.
The best part about the whole night was I was smiling. A genuine smile of happiness was on my face all night. It's still here. I know what ego dissolution means now and hope that everyone gets a chance at least once in their life to experience that. I have heard time and time again since I started this journey about people saying that the mushrooms will show you what you need to know. I understand and have been humbled.
Hope y'all didn't get to bored with this. Thanks for reading.
Edited by planetcaravan03, 12 July 2020 - 10:15 PM.