I lead a strange life. Generally an outsider in every group I am a part of.
I'm a witch, but using Psychedelics spiritually isn't necessarily a witch thing. I'm not part of any meso American cultures, so there's no elders to teach me Shamanism.
Yet as a child I was always sensitive and intuitive. I called myself a Shaman before Psychedelics. When I first became a member her, I tried to talk about my spiritual insights, but it wasn't allowed here. Pretty much the only people I could share my experiences with I couldn't share them with.
A lot has changed, but a lot has stayed the same. I still haven't found a Psychedelic witch community or anything. I'm broke and have kids, so I don't see any trips to Peru in my near future.
I have a unique perspective. In addition to what I just mentioned, I have no family or siblings. Even those closest to me who do share my spiritual love for Psychedelics still don't quite love them as much as I do. This has lead me to do quite a bit of self reflection on the topic.
I really feel like because I had no real human connection as a child, I always more closely connected with the spirits. So when I discovered Psychedelics, I fell in love. And the more I try to share my Psychedelic insights, I fell away even more so from human connection. Just realizing, if anybody thinks like me, they're quite far away.
In the Psychedelic state, my gods and goddessess are there. My spirit guides. My ancestors. All the shamans who came before me who have guided me throughout my life in subtle spiritual ways to substitute the fact that I can't find a shamanic community. I really feel like the only place I can be me is in that state. Like those who have already died are the only entities I can truly connect with. I'm more Spiritual than I am a human. So (in the most positive way possible) I just yearn to die and be with them. Living a life where my cultures have been forgotten and erased by western society and Christian and American propaganda is just not a life to me. I'm here to help fight for those in the future not to live a life where there ideas and spirituality doesn't matter to anyone. It's a difficult life for one who practices Shamanism.