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My Ongoing Personal Psychedelic Experiences...


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#1 Guy1298

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Posted 14 November 2020 - 06:04 PM

Abandoning my previous thread named "Experiences" because I felt it was too generically named. I'll continue to write here from now on. 

 

To start this off, I tripped last night. Honestly, I've forgotten a lot of it. It was lose dose and dreamy. I took it just as I would normally go to sleep. 

 

One moment I found really interesting was this "dream" sequence where I was a member of a group and I felt that we were being either suffocated or killed... I went with it. So, there was this moment where I felt like I was being killed as a member of this group. There wasn't any fear though. I let the psychedelics dream take me. When I felt that I had died I felt a light peace and happiness. 

At other times, the voices in my head in the form of these dreams were loud and disorganized, people yelling and screaming. I was pulled into arguments of unknown contexts. Of course, I wasn't really there aside from the feeling that I was one of the voices. The voices happened on their own. 

At other times I reflected on my father in very emotionally penetrative ways. At other times, I looked at the idea of having family, love, and children as a wholly fulfilling path in life. At other times, I felt on the edge wondering if I'd rather perish. 

 

I'm going to start upping the dose. Maybe start growing soon again, since last year's supply is getting low. 


Edited by Guy1298, 14 November 2020 - 06:08 PM.

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#2 Guy1298

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Posted 18 December 2020 - 10:29 PM

I think tonight is the time to trip. :)


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#3 Guy1298

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Posted 28 December 2020 - 11:55 PM

Recently, I've been microdosing daily. Just .01g... You'd think it does nothing, but it makes me quite high. Seems to reduce feelings of shame and regret. The feelings of anger that were brewing because my housemates weren't cleaning up after themselves has disappeared. 

 

I don't think I intend to stop anytime soon. It's my medicine for now. 

 

How be ye, wondrous nexus of online people's?


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#4 Sidestreet

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Posted 29 December 2020 - 04:46 AM

Glad to hear you're getting some benefit out of microdosing.  I still haven't tried it yet.  I'm surprised you have such strong effects off of .01 g.  How are you measuring it?


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#5 Guy1298

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Posted 29 December 2020 - 12:00 PM

I've got a jewelry scale to measure it. Yeah, the low low dose was surprising to me as well. There was a time when I microdosed on .1-.5, but after a bit of calibration, I realized that that was way too much. I tried kept moving it down to make it "sub-perceptual"... Eventually, I reached the limit of my scale and said oh well. 

 

It's weird I notice a change immediately. As soon as I chew that .01g I notice a difference. To be honest, that .01g is more like a low dose in my initial mushroom use. Where you find the effects are subtle, thinking more deeply, more expressive, things look just slightly bright and more colorful, no hallucinations though. A better grasp on spiritual insight. Really incredible!



#6 Guy1298

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Posted 28 February 2021 - 12:06 PM

Well, awhile since I posted here. I went through a period of micro-dosing various amounts, daily, every few days, so on. I recently decided I needed to shock the system... needed to recalibrate, so a mild dose late last night. 

 

I took it while half asleep. I had an emotional, introspective trip but mixed with dream. Notable was that I found a lot of anger this time. I found myself thinking about my uncle who had abused my mother. At that moment, I was so angry at him, I had within the moment decided to kill him or at least that he deserved to die. All apart of the trip though, come and gone. Very therapeutic to feel feel that anger in such a raw form. Very very very good. 

 

I'll try for once a month going forward. Mushrooms are good for me, period. 

 

I think this is probably the first time since very early childhood that anger has taken form as a violent desire to just kill someone. Kind of weird that I say early childhood... Before a child learns that destroying what they hate isn't the proper way (perhaps we are killer's first, first selfishly, and secondly "righteously"). That being said... no desire to kill anyone. Very enlightening... not in the nirvana way, but the psychological/self-analytical way. 


Edited by Guy1298, 28 February 2021 - 12:12 PM.

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#7 Guy1298

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Posted 03 April 2021 - 10:24 PM

Well, warming up. I've tripped the last couple weekends, low dose. 

 

Honestly, I'm not interested in using mushrooms via high doses anymore. But, it's possible I might again some day. Anyway, It was a nice experience. For some moments, I felt like I was talking without being myself... I even referred to myself from the third-person. That was interesting. I commented on my path in life from outside of it. There was the ordinary yearning for "What to do?" and more in the form of "What should I do with my life before I die?" :). 

I don't know. I observed that my mind was replaying past memories and referencing the present moment in relation to the future. I noticed a devaluation of the present in view of what it did or did not to for the future. 

This last trip was for a purpose. It's time to take care of the things I need to take care of. Was using the trip as a suitable reset before I head into making those changes. 

Advaita has left a mark. Existence is the case, no question about it. If I view existence as it is, in and of itself, then I'm informed of something greater than "I am somebody." 


Edited by Guy1298, 03 April 2021 - 10:25 PM.

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