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My Ongoing Personal Psychedelic Experiences...


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#1 Guy1298

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Posted 14 November 2020 - 06:04 PM

Abandoning my previous thread named "Experiences" because I felt it was too generically named. I'll continue to write here from now on. 

 

To start this off, I tripped last night. Honestly, I've forgotten a lot of it. It was lose dose and dreamy. I took it just as I would normally go to sleep. 

 

One moment I found really interesting was this "dream" sequence where I was a member of a group and I felt that we were being either suffocated or killed... I went with it. So, there was this moment where I felt like I was being killed as a member of this group. There wasn't any fear though. I let the psychedelics dream take me. When I felt that I had died I felt a light peace and happiness. 

At other times, the voices in my head in the form of these dreams were loud and disorganized, people yelling and screaming. I was pulled into arguments of unknown contexts. Of course, I wasn't really there aside from the feeling that I was one of the voices. The voices happened on their own. 

At other times I reflected on my father in very emotionally penetrative ways. At other times, I looked at the idea of having family, love, and children as a wholly fulfilling path in life. At other times, I felt on the edge wondering if I'd rather perish. 

 

I'm going to start upping the dose. Maybe start growing soon again, since last year's supply is getting low. 


Edited by Guy1298, 14 November 2020 - 06:08 PM.

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#2 Guy1298

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Posted 18 December 2020 - 10:29 PM

I think tonight is the time to trip. :)


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#3 Guy1298

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Posted 28 December 2020 - 11:55 PM

Recently, I've been microdosing daily. Just .01g... You'd think it does nothing, but it makes me quite high. Seems to reduce feelings of shame and regret. The feelings of anger that were brewing because my housemates weren't cleaning up after themselves has disappeared. 

 

I don't think I intend to stop anytime soon. It's my medicine for now. 

 

How be ye, wondrous nexus of online people's?


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#4 Sidestreet

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Posted 29 December 2020 - 04:46 AM

Glad to hear you're getting some benefit out of microdosing.  I still haven't tried it yet.  I'm surprised you have such strong effects off of .01 g.  How are you measuring it?


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#5 Guy1298

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Posted 29 December 2020 - 12:00 PM

I've got a jewelry scale to measure it. Yeah, the low low dose was surprising to me as well. There was a time when I microdosed on .1-.5, but after a bit of calibration, I realized that that was way too much. I tried kept moving it down to make it "sub-perceptual"... Eventually, I reached the limit of my scale and said oh well. 

 

It's weird I notice a change immediately. As soon as I chew that .01g I notice a difference. To be honest, that .01g is more like a low dose in my initial mushroom use. Where you find the effects are subtle, thinking more deeply, more expressive, things look just slightly bright and more colorful, no hallucinations though. A better grasp on spiritual insight. Really incredible!


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#6 Guy1298

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Posted 28 February 2021 - 12:06 PM

Well, awhile since I posted here. I went through a period of micro-dosing various amounts, daily, every few days, so on. I recently decided I needed to shock the system... needed to recalibrate, so a mild dose late last night. 

 

I took it while half asleep. I had an emotional, introspective trip but mixed with dream. Notable was that I found a lot of anger this time. I found myself thinking about my uncle who had abused my mother. At that moment, I was so angry at him, I had within the moment decided to kill him or at least that he deserved to die. All apart of the trip though, come and gone. Very therapeutic to feel feel that anger in such a raw form. Very very very good. 

 

I'll try for once a month going forward. Mushrooms are good for me, period. 

 

I think this is probably the first time since very early childhood that anger has taken form as a violent desire to just kill someone. Kind of weird that I say early childhood... Before a child learns that destroying what they hate isn't the proper way (perhaps we are killer's first, first selfishly, and secondly "righteously"). That being said... no desire to kill anyone. Very enlightening... not in the nirvana way, but the psychological/self-analytical way. 


Edited by Guy1298, 28 February 2021 - 12:12 PM.

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#7 Guy1298

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Posted 03 April 2021 - 10:24 PM

Well, warming up. I've tripped the last couple weekends, low dose. 

 

Honestly, I'm not interested in using mushrooms via high doses anymore. But, it's possible I might again some day. Anyway, It was a nice experience. For some moments, I felt like I was talking without being myself... I even referred to myself from the third-person. That was interesting. I commented on my path in life from outside of it. There was the ordinary yearning for "What to do?" and more in the form of "What should I do with my life before I die?" :). 

I don't know. I observed that my mind was replaying past memories and referencing the present moment in relation to the future. I noticed a devaluation of the present in view of what it did or did not to for the future. 

This last trip was for a purpose. It's time to take care of the things I need to take care of. Was using the trip as a suitable reset before I head into making those changes. 

Advaita has left a mark. Existence is the case, no question about it. If I view existence as it is, in and of itself, then I'm informed of something greater than "I am somebody." 


Edited by Guy1298, 03 April 2021 - 10:25 PM.

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#8 Guy1298

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Posted 02 May 2021 - 02:22 PM

I'm still doin' the low dose hikes, once a week or once every two weeks. I've recently got a very good routine going, yoga, meditation, study... it's not perfect, but I feel like I'm doing really well right now, feeling light and happy.  

 

There are plenty of other hikers where I go, so not lonesome enough to do bigger doses. I don't handle people well at all on higher doses, not at all! That'll have to wait until I start camping out again.

 

I once told a friend that "Mushrooms are the reason I am happy." It's not totally true, but they're such a big part of it. I've so much love for them. 

 

This last trip, the come-up was mostly self-analytical. My mother was on my mind, thinking about whether or not I should reach out to her. It's been sometime now. It turned into me grasping for positive memories with her and feeling like I couldn't find any. That's a lie, but at the time, maybe the trip was meant to be that I couldn't find any. It was the come-up which in my experience is always tough, like if you look in the mirror you see someone ugly and your life gets unwound to show you who you "really" are. A bit uncomfortable, but, it's the bargain... mushrooms keep me honest with myself. 

 

Later, I become preoccupied with a little bug crawling on my sleeve. For much of the time, I thought it had babies clinging to its side. I decided to get a blade of grass to carry it off of my sleeve to somewhere safer. As, I did that it became clear in a shock that the bug had actually had half its body destroyed, what I though was its baby clinging to it. It was such a shock. And I was tempted to to kill it (to put it out of it's misery) because I was empathizing with what I imagined was the fear and pain it was experiencing. It brought me back to the moments when I had "fought for my life" and felt fear and pain. 

 

This was an unusually light trip for the amount I took. Not really difficult at all, afterwards I was just plainly happy.


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#9 Guy1298

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Posted 15 May 2021 - 07:43 PM

Well... I took the largest dose today than I've done in a few years. It was quite incredible. I do love mushrooms. 

 

I don't really care to tell the story... tires me out. 

 

But, about two hours after when I decided to leave the "ceremonial space" and venture into the trails, I saw the sun shining through the leaves, I saw the leaves... at first I felt so blessed to feel this perfect sense of happiness, then in a matter of a few seconds a feeling of sadness knowing that none of it lasts... then I was still looking at the son and the leaves. I made sure to express my thanks to the mushroomy teachers... 

 

Aside from that the two hours up until that point was what I expect from mushrooms, a meditative visionary rollercoaster ride, followed by and interspersed with insightful moments of psychological healing and emotional cartharsis.


Edited by Guy1298, 15 May 2021 - 07:44 PM.

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#10 Kidbuu

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Posted 07 June 2021 - 08:28 PM

This is great, keep it up. I'm happy for you. These experiences are your medicine and the fact that you're not doing it very often means you're using it the right way



#11 livefrom215

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Posted 08 June 2021 - 08:04 AM

Guy- Please continue with your posts I really enjoy reading others experiences on here. I so much want start taking hikes on low dose,  I tend to get a bit anxious so being on the move I think would be good for me. I have a younger child so its difficult for me to find time during the day that I can get away and Im not sure how I would fair with tripping while he is in attendance I honestly wouldnt feel comfortable and I think that would ruin it for me. Would you mind expanding on the type of yoga and meditation your doing? I had been doing yoga for the last year just recently stopped (I get in my own way quite often) I need to get back into the groove though. As for the meditation I have a difficult time with racing thoughts and I often have a song that plays on repeat stuck in my head so I really have a hard time with meditating. 



#12 rockyfungus

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Posted 08 June 2021 - 11:08 AM

So interesting you feel the sadness as the trip fades. I know it's time to venture back when the sadness creeps back in.



#13 ElPirana

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Posted 08 June 2021 - 12:53 PM

Guy- Please continue with your posts I really enjoy reading others experiences on here. I so much want start taking hikes on low dose,  I tend to get a bit anxious so being on the move I think would be good for me. I have a younger child so its difficult for me to find time during the day that I can get away and Im not sure how I would fair with tripping while he is in attendance I honestly wouldnt feel comfortable and I think that would ruin it for me. Would you mind expanding on the type of yoga and meditation your doing? I had been doing yoga for the last year just recently stopped (I get in my own way quite often) I need to get back into the groove though. As for the meditation I have a difficult time with racing thoughts and I often have a song that plays on repeat stuck in my head so I really have a hard time with meditating.

I hope you don’t mind if I chime in here, I’ve got a lot of similarities to what you described.

I have two kids, so for the past five years that I’ve taken mushrooms, pretty much every experience is at night after the kids are asleep. I’ve never tripped outdoors, in the woods or on a beach, or any other cool sounding location. I’ll probably have to wait another 10-15 years before that could happen. That being said, I have had some incredible experiences right in my living room, experiences that have blown away anything I could have imagined. Just saying this to let you know that you can still have the experience of tripping and still get a lot out of it, and allow it to fit into your current lifestyle. I have learned not to force things, if it doesn’t feel right (that gut feeling) just don’t do it.

As for meditation, I also have songs continuously loop in my mind, nonstop. There was a short time where it did stop for me, but it’s back to the old routine lol. In meditation you don’t force anything. You don’t try to force thoughts to stop, you acknowledge them and just notice that they are there. But you are not the thought, so you don’t have to follow it along. It’s a habit of ours to follow the thoughts, thinking they are some part of us. But as you watch you will see that thoughts pop up out of nowhere, and they dissolve again. It has been helpful to me to use self inquiry during meditation. Find out who (or what) you are, what is it in the experience that is permanent and what is impermanent? As you do this (focus your attention inward) repeatedly, the thoughts will lose their power on their own. There is a wonderful short book written that can help guide you on self inquiry, if you are interested. I can’t state the process better than Ramana Maharshi: http://www.sriramana...12/who_am_I.pdf

Here is a longer version if you want something a bit more in-depth, highly recommended: http://www.sriramana...m_I_English.pdf

@Guy1298 I would love to hear your thoughts on this as well. Plus I don’t have much experience in yoga. At least not in hatha yoga.
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#14 livefrom215

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Posted 08 June 2021 - 03:00 PM

ElPirana- Thank you for that read! Have you read Untethered Souls? Untethered Souls is all about thoughts and who we are and how to become the "SEER" and staying in the seat. If you haven't read this book you should check it out.



#15 Cuboid

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Posted 11 June 2021 - 03:46 AM

ElPirana- Thank you for that read! Have you read Untethered Souls? Untethered Souls is all about thoughts and who we are and how to become the "SEER" and staying in the seat. If you haven't read this book you should check it out.

Sorry to butt in ... Which author is that please?



#16 livefrom215

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Posted 11 June 2021 - 06:47 AM

Cuboid- Micheal A Singer- Pretty awesome book I need to make a change in my life so thats what I jumped into. Hope you find it worth while


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#17 Cuboid

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Posted 12 June 2021 - 08:07 AM

Recently, I've been microdosing daily. Just .01g... You'd think it does nothing, but it makes me quite high. Seems to reduce feelings of shame and regret. The feelings of anger that were brewing because my housemates weren't cleaning up after themselves has disappeared. 

 

I don't think I intend to stop anytime soon. It's my medicine for now. 

 

How be ye, wondrous nexus of online people's?

The dose response curve for psilocin/psilocybin seems quite non-linear to me. I had a bunch of capsules made up with dried powdered homogenised cubensis - around 0.1g per capsule. I found a pretty consistent effect when taking these and it was bit too much to take during the day and be comfortable working or driving say. So I'd take them roughly twice a week in the evening. I had this niggling doubt that this wasn't really a microdose for me and I should go lower so I opened them up split the contents in half and re-capsuled it. Surprise! Still feel the effect when taking them. Like, just as much.

Bit bizarre but I know dose response for a number of things is non-linear so no great mystery I suppose. (e.g. there are some toxic things which are worse at lower doses than higher doses - something like there is a threshold below which you bodies immune system/detox system doesn't register it to get rid of it but there is enough to do harm over time. When I first read about such things I was really shocked. )

 

(Sorry if getting off topic, just wanted to share re: microdosing dose issue)


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#18 Guy1298

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Posted 16 June 2021 - 08:56 PM

Sounds similar to my experience. .01g sounds ridiculously low, but I am definitely high on it. Not visionary, but the little bits of everything else, pleasure in the body, lights are brighter, emotions are more palpable, thoughts are "odd" tending towards glimmers of "enlightened" feelings, etc. 

 

Though, I will say that I've experienced those things sober as well, the result of apprehending reality in a certain way, it seems to transform it. 

 

I haven't been microdosing lately though. 


Edited by Guy1298, 16 June 2021 - 09:00 PM.


#19 drmcnasty

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Posted 16 June 2021 - 09:34 PM

I have some suggestions on dealing with psychedelics and children. I have no interest in dealing with children while peaking but I do enjoy taking a nap after they go to bed and consuming my sacrament around midnight. Whether I took LSD or mushrooms, by the time they wake up I'm in a great place. I have had tons of fun with them after some long evenings. It's a lot easier to see things through a child's eyes at the tail end of a good trip.
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#20 Guy1298

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Posted 18 July 2021 - 09:08 AM

Here's yesterday's trip. I took a higher than my usual dose and went to my usual spot. I was at a rock right at the edge of a river in some beautiful wilderness. 

 

Around the peak, it started pouring and thundering. Earlier I was so hot, but when it was pouring the air got cold, the rain was cold, I was curled up in a ball. But, I was watching the droplets hit the river water creating beautiful patterns. I closed my eyes at one point holding my hands in prayer and I was traversing a darkened area with beautiful women. 

 

Anyway, there I was. The rain let up a little bit, the monologue that I have on mushrooms took on weird qualities. The rain responded to that monologue, it started raining as a response to conversation I was having with the mushrooms! Then, as I sit curled up to keep the cold off, I saw a spider on my arm, I tried first to shake it off, then I took off my shirt. I was shaking the shirt out, then I noticed it sitting right on my arm. I shook it off. I was standing up. In that moment, I was thinking, hmm, was the spider a hallucination. I was thinking... I hope not, I'd rather not have one of those trips right now. Then, lightning struck, spit second I slipped off the edge of the rock and fell just 4 feet into the water. Pull myself back up and noticed the blood dripping our of my left foot.

 

A sharp rock had caused a down to the bone laceration about 180 degrees around my left big toe. At that moment, in my mind, this event was caused by the numinous spirit. The circumstances felt that way, it was like a slap in the face and I started talking with that spirit learning my "lesson" as it were. I was so high that there was little to no pain in the toe. I covered the wound to stop the bleeding and realizing that I was just at the peak, I realized I'd have to remain here for another couple hours before my mind was clear enough to deal with the hospital. 

 

After the accident, I was no longer really tripping. I was just high, nursing the wound, thinking about the best way to handle this. I did make it to the hospital, after hobbling and crawling my way out of the trail, despite my desire to just take an uber, someone else I met called an ambulance and that was that. 


Edited by Guy1298, 18 July 2021 - 09:08 AM.

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