My Ongoing Personal Psychedelic Experiences...
Posted 18 July 2021 - 09:29 PM
Ive gone out into the wilderness to trip several times but Idk.. Ive had some weird symptoms like really bad pain in my right or left arm or in my joints or weird stuff including panic attacks where your chest becomes so heavy you cant breathe.( by the way I always wondered why it feels so weird to breath when having a panic attack. It turns out when your body is switched into survival or fearing for death it diverts a ton of blood to your heart and lungs and your chest is heavy with it and heart is workimg really hard.) im sure most of the times i had bad reactions is just because of the other meds im on accompanied with the mushrooms but I tend to eat at home alone now a days although there are times i go out with a friend to bum fuck no where and have some fun.
Been fortunate enough to not have a bad trip in nature ever really.. I think..?
Lately ive been using mushrooms just before meditating. Ive had mixed results.
Posted 19 July 2021 - 05:05 AM
In my opinion and experience, mushrooms and meditation aren't that good together at the same time. I've had some really intense mushroom experiences that happened after a lot of sober meditation, like a few hours. But, concentrative meditation during a mushroom experience has felt like the mushrooms were battling my concentrative state. They want to draw up beautiful imagery, feelings, ideas, to help and to heal, to show me spirits, etc. But, that's not going to happen so easily when I'm focussed solely on the breath. It will happen, but there's a bit of a battle with it imo.
Edited by Guy1298, 19 July 2021 - 05:06 AM.
Posted 19 July 2021 - 07:28 AM
Also found at the very end of a trip during afterglow is a good time :)
Posted 27 July 2021 - 06:46 PM
The toe is healing up. I almost feel safe to put weight on it again.
It's a scar that I'll likely not forget. A nice mark to remember what the mushrooms teach, eh? :).
Unfortunately, the tip of the big toe is numb. I wonder if it will ever gain feeling again?
Posted 22 August 2021 - 01:52 AM
Hey again, :).
I decided to mix it up and try my hand and the old way I used to trip.
Darkness, meditation, safe room, kind-of thing. :).
Honestly, amazing. It was still a low-dose... because I've since felt that a large dose would have me quitting my job... but who knows.
But, for a low-dose, it brought me close. Little bits of the fear popped in. Forgotten things I might have known about reality that I didn't want to know. Because... fuck. I... the ego don't want to know.
So, it took me to the edge of the cliff, so I could remember. Then, I was like... hey, mushroom spirit, I'd like to hang back... I'm scared. I don't know if they listened... well. I didn't take enough for them to realize my fears... or did I?
At the peak, I came to know the reality of serial killers... it was very uncomfortable. Simultaneously, I was at the edge, so I was starting to see what I didn't necessarily want to see. That is, that this world isn't real... In a way, I already know that, but I also haven't been swallowed up by it. It is my life calling, to know it.
I found the experience knowing the reality of serial killers to be overwhelming. I had to step out of the vision and feeling and just say... "Fuck!"
Anyway, everything else was beautiful. Maybe a little too high and happy afterwards. :).
Edited by Guy1298, 22 August 2021 - 01:55 AM.
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Posted 22 August 2021 - 01:56 AM
I think I'm going to continue tripping like this going forward, for awhile at least.
Posted 22 August 2021 - 02:47 AM
It's interesting... maybe the serial killer bit was really to show what I was choosing by backing away...
I basically chose to cling to this world. The obvious short-coming of this world is there are little hells... It showed me a little hell. The little hell is the fact that someone somewhere possesses a mind deranged enough to torture and kill another human being. It made that real for me... because I'm the one clinging to this life and world as real. In essence it said, if you back away from this truth, then you live with that one.
Edited by Guy1298, 22 August 2021 - 02:49 AM.
Posted 22 August 2021 - 12:55 PM
I don’t have intrusive thoughts but I’ve experienced my version of “hell” a lot.
More solitude and fear of creating all around me. I think we all experience the God delusion if we trip enough.
I’m still working on allowing the light to take over but I find myself withdrawn and reduced my job hours in person (want to quit completely).
All I can say is reflect on it and venture back to tease out more. I’ve been on the 3-6 month dose regiment and haven’t got any where close to dealing with my demons. I need to do it alone, I get too concerned about my novice loved ones that won’t take high doses.
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