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My Ongoing Personal Psychedelic Experiences...


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#21 DarkNchildlike

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Posted 18 July 2021 - 09:29 PM

Ooooff.. Dang brother.. That's a really shitty way to end a trip for sure..

Ive gone out into the wilderness to trip several times but Idk.. Ive had some weird symptoms like really bad pain in my right or left arm or in my joints or weird stuff including panic attacks where your chest becomes so heavy you cant breathe.( by the way I always wondered why it feels so weird to breath when having a panic attack. It turns out when your body is switched into survival or fearing for death it diverts a ton of blood to your heart and lungs and your chest is heavy with it and heart is workimg really hard.) im sure most of the times i had bad reactions is just because of the other meds im on accompanied with the mushrooms but I tend to eat at home alone now a days although there are times i go out with a friend to bum fuck no where and have some fun.

Been fortunate enough to not have a bad trip in nature ever really.. I think..?

Lately ive been using mushrooms just before meditating. Ive had mixed results.

#22 Guy1298

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Posted 19 July 2021 - 05:05 AM

In my opinion and experience, mushrooms and meditation aren't that good together at the same time. I've had some really intense mushroom experiences that happened after a lot of sober meditation, like a few hours. But, concentrative meditation during a mushroom experience has felt like the mushrooms were battling my concentrative state. They want to draw up beautiful imagery, feelings, ideas, to help and to heal, to show me spirits, etc. But, that's not going to happen so easily when I'm focussed solely on the breath. It will happen, but there's a bit of a battle with it imo.


Edited by Guy1298, 19 July 2021 - 05:06 AM.


#23 DarkNchildlike

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Posted 19 July 2021 - 07:28 AM

That's right thats what I've found alot of times and have found or came to the same conclusions.

Also found at the very end of a trip during afterglow is a good time :)

#24 Guy1298

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Posted 27 July 2021 - 06:46 PM

The toe is healing up. I almost feel safe to put weight on it again. 

 

It's a scar that I'll likely not forget. A nice mark to remember what the mushrooms teach, eh? :). 

 

Unfortunately, the tip of the big toe is numb. I wonder if it will ever gain feeling again?


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#25 Guy1298

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Posted 22 August 2021 - 01:52 AM

Hey again, :).

I decided to mix it up and try my hand and the old way I used to trip. 

Darkness, meditation, safe room, kind-of thing. :). 

Honestly, amazing. It was still a low-dose... because I've since felt that a large dose would have me quitting my job... but who knows. 

 

But, for a low-dose, it brought me close. Little bits of the fear popped in. Forgotten things I might have known about reality that I didn't want to know. Because... fuck. I... the ego don't want to know. 

 

So, it took me to the edge of the cliff, so I could remember. Then, I was like... hey, mushroom spirit, I'd like to hang back... I'm scared. I don't know if they listened... well. I didn't take enough for them to realize my fears... or did I? 

At the peak, I came to know the reality of serial killers... it was very uncomfortable. Simultaneously, I was at the edge, so I was starting to see what I didn't necessarily want to see. That is, that this world isn't real... In a way, I already know that, but I also haven't been swallowed up by it. It is my life calling, to know it. 

I found the experience knowing the reality of serial killers to be overwhelming. I had to step out of the vision and feeling and just say... "Fuck!" 

Anyway, everything else was beautiful. Maybe a little too high and happy afterwards. :).


Edited by Guy1298, 22 August 2021 - 01:55 AM.

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#26 Guy1298

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Posted 22 August 2021 - 01:56 AM

I think I'm going to continue tripping like this going forward, for awhile at least. 



#27 Guy1298

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Posted 22 August 2021 - 02:47 AM

It's interesting... maybe the serial killer bit was really to show what I was choosing by backing away...

I basically chose to cling to this world. The obvious short-coming of this world is there are little hells... It showed me a little hell. The little hell is the fact that someone somewhere possesses a mind deranged enough to torture and kill another human being. It made that real for me... because I'm the one clinging to this life and world as real. In essence it said, if you back away from this truth, then you live with that one. 


Edited by Guy1298, 22 August 2021 - 02:49 AM.


#28 Guy1298

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Posted 22 August 2021 - 12:05 PM

Why so much darkness on my trips? :). 



#29 rockyfungus

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Posted 22 August 2021 - 12:55 PM

Interesting journeys. I can’t help you with the darkness as I always am trying hard to not go down that path.

I don’t have intrusive thoughts but I’ve experienced my version of “hell” a lot.

More solitude and fear of creating all around me. I think we all experience the God delusion if we trip enough.

I’m still working on allowing the light to take over but I find myself withdrawn and reduced my job hours in person (want to quit completely).

All I can say is reflect on it and venture back to tease out more. I’ve been on the 3-6 month dose regiment and haven’t got any where close to dealing with my demons. I need to do it alone, I get too concerned about my novice loved ones that won’t take high doses.
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#30 Guy1298

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Posted 26 September 2021 - 05:04 PM

Well, tripped again, darkness and meditation. 

 

It was basically a visionary rollercoaster ride. I was drawn into psychedelic dreams. It was very confusing and disorganized. At times, I felt that I was a female. At times, I felt that I was multiple people at once. At times, it seemed that I had faded away to nothing. 

 

It was a bit difficult. There wasn't panic or significant amounts of fear, but that was because I, as the thinking mind, made myself very small and quiet, so that the psychedelic dreams could take over. 

 

There was a flash of insight where I saw the trap of life. The trap was being myself, living this life, identified as this mind and body. It had an absurd quality, like a madman was telling me, "You'll never get out," laughing as he goes. It was expressed in an instant, like a lightning bolt following its path, expressing a point, then fading to away. 

 

I'm not sure if I'll do this sort of trip again for awhile. I plan to stick to lower doses in nature in the future. But, if I find this experience has left a positive impact, greater than what's found in my nature adventures, I'll rethink the decision.


Edited by Guy1298, 26 September 2021 - 05:05 PM.

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#31 YoshiTrainer

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Posted 27 September 2021 - 11:53 AM

I wonder if you grew some Ps. Mexicana for your next journey, they seem so warm and loving, might make for a better journey?

I don't mind low doses at home but definitely prefer nature, especially for higher doses.

Good luck!
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#32 Guy1298

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Posted 29 September 2021 - 07:37 AM

Thanks for the suggestion. If I happen across Ps. Mexicana, I'll try them out. Or perhaps I'll grow them next time I grow. 


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#33 FLASHINGROOSTER

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Posted 30 September 2021 - 05:30 PM

I have a little trick that I would like others to try in order to help me decide if its a legit method or not.

 

I call it the pre dose dose. Taking a very small amount and then riding through the darkness weird come up part easily, then after about an hour or so of feeling effects, then I drop the full amount I intended to take. This seems to provide a less intense but ultimately more calm and good time feelings trip IMHO


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#34 Guy1298

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Posted 27 October 2021 - 11:39 AM

I've since started microdosing again in a very conservative way. I take .01g Wednesday and Saturday. It's an unusually low microdose, but the right amount for me. 

 

I'm definitely benefitting from it. Feel more in harmony and comfortable, more capable of doing work, less obsessive, so on. Regularly doing yoga and rock climbing too. Feeling great. :)


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#35 Guy1298

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Posted 05 December 2021 - 03:39 AM

Upped the microdose to .05g. 

The day I did, I took it just before climbing. I climb at an indoor climbing gym. What was really cool was that with the .05g in my system, I seemed to push beyond my limits climbing things I couldn't climb before with less effort. It was surprising. I think it made me more comfortable in positions where I'd normally think I needed to get off the wall. I would push further and hang on when I normally wouldn't which allowed me to complete climbs I'd normally quit at.

On another note, walking around the grocery store this evening I had odd thoughts, a little dark. Mushrooms are serious medicine.  



#36 Guy1298

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Posted 05 December 2021 - 03:41 AM

If there's another nice weekend, I'm planning to do a little dose hiking again. If not, I would hate to use indoors, but I think it's about time to take a trip. 



#37 WelcomeUniversal

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Posted 05 December 2021 - 04:32 AM

If there's another nice weekend, I'm planning to do a little dose hiking again. If not, I would hate to use indoors, but I think it's about time to take a trip.

Hello, man. Maybe i can help you a bit with ur darkness and healing urself.
Meditation and mushroom interfere with each other, you are absolutely right. BUT. There is one way to mix them effectively to avoid this, and this way is shaman drumm. Only one thing u can meditate on trip is sound, and rhythmic sound 220 shots per minute make real magic. It make full trip even without mushrooms, but if u make it on inside trip...Its impossible... Its stronger than dmt and u will have full control on it like in meditation. Your conscious and ur body become maximum...Flat? Clean? Real? I dont have enough words to say you. I can say u only it helps me a lot in healing, and im sure u have to test it!
How much shrooms? 3g maximum, it will be overdosing.
Where to get sounds 220 shots min? Google "Michael Harner sounds" and download for free somewhere.

I hope i make u interested, becouse this so powerfull and so effective shamanic technique has beed used so rarely, and its...insulting and sad. So much usefull we,re losing...
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#38 Guy1298

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Posted 05 December 2021 - 08:33 PM

Thanks for the suggestion. Some of the Ayahuasca shamans I spoke with in Peru said a number of times that it didn't matter what the icaros were, just that it had the right beat and rhythm. That relates some to what you're getting at. 

I was recently inspired to procure some Ayahuasca and will likely drink that instead. I've found it to be lighter and more healing than mushrooms. I'll update you guys as I go ahead with my Ayahuasca journeys. I am feeling like I need to transform and heal in some way.



#39 Guy1298

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Posted 05 December 2021 - 08:34 PM

Could it be that I'm a selfish asshole? Yeah... it definitely could be. 

I'd like to see that change. 



#40 Guy1298

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Posted 05 December 2021 - 08:41 PM

I've gotten too comfortable where I am now. Work from home, making a nice salary with relatively chill work. 

 

I think those last couple mushroom trips did a number on me. And the interpersonal relationships here where I'm living have felt all fucked up. So, I'm secretly bitter. 

 

I'll use Ayahuasca with an intention to recreate elements of my first Ayahuasca retreat. And I'd like that to show me where and what I should do going forward. I've saved enough where I'm well situated to go anywhere and do most things (for at least a year or two). I'm tired of the thought that I'm just going to keep saving and eventually retire. Tired of the thoughts about what I may or may not be. And the obvious reality that I'm not well placed to be anything that I intend to be in particular. My view is abysmal, yet peaceful.


Edited by Guy1298, 05 December 2021 - 08:43 PM.

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