78 replies to this topic

[rockyfungus]

We only walk down the mountains when we're out of our gourds. Alcohol and weed are much more acceptable on the mountain.

Oldpunk: Do you go through socks when you are skating frequently. I get holes under the balls of my feet within like 2-3 sessions. I thought this would be a cheap hobby, but between, bearings, wheels, and socks....

[Oldpunk]

I never noticed on the socks. Although now you mention it my ex wife was always complaining that I had the holiest socks she'd ever seen. So maybe there's something to it.

[Ringo]

One for layin' back and one for leanin' forward.

 

I have had the Ninja up to about 100mph but above that it actually hydroplanes and wants to leave the ground. I swear if this fucker had wings it would fly.

 

I seldom go over 45mph on the Shadow. LOL

 

 

[rockyfungus]

Went out for an early morning skate, 7 am in a small "downtown" business district that has had no businesses open. Pandemic closed the whole damn area down and the posted business hours are 10am-2pm. 
Been riding here for a bit over a year and usually just see security watching me but not leaving their comfy desks. I typically ride early morning or once it's dark and the lights are on 9-10pm. 

This morning some new security lady was walking the premises and was eyeballing me. So I moved from the sidewalk and exploring parking garages to the main road. As I got back to the top of the hill I just feel that gaze and know I'm about to lose my spot.

"Hey, the various businesses have seen you skating for awhile and wanted me to let you know this is private property". 

 

Oh, of course I'll be on my way. Well what if I just stick to the road?

"Well you can't be by any cars"

 

At that point you tend to say fuck you pig and just skate on outta there...probably should grow out of that habit...

[Oldpunk]

Damn. That sucks

And it's really lame since your just cruising around. It's not like your out grinding their front steps over and over and over. (Now that I'm old and going gray I can see that being annoying ...... Kinda)

Wish people would just realize it's just another form of exercise. Would they say anything if you were pedaling around on a bicycle? Or jogging?

[Juthro]

That sucks, Rocky.  Makes me think of this old song by John Prine https://www.youtube....h?v=zgngl4aVe9g

 

Riding a Honda 400 Rancher here :)

[TVCasualty]

Went out for an early morning skate, 7 am in a small "downtown" business district that has had no businesses open. Pandemic closed the whole damn area down and the posted business hours are 10am-2pm. 
Been riding here for a bit over a year and usually just see security watching me but not leaving their comfy desks. I typically ride early morning or once it's dark and the lights are on 9-10pm. 

This morning some new security lady was walking the premises and was eyeballing me. So I moved from the sidewalk and exploring parking garages to the main road. As I got back to the top of the hill I just feel that gaze and know I'm about to lose my spot.

"Hey, the various businesses have seen you skating for awhile and wanted me to let you know this is private property". 

 

Oh, of course I'll be on my way. Well what if I just stick to the road?

"Well you can't be by any cars"

 

At that point you tend to say fuck you pig and just skate on outta there...probably should grow out of that habit...

 

The world is overrun with pinheads.

 

I like to drive such people nuts by only responding to anything they say with one of three questions that I alternate as appropriate. It requires suddenly becoming a moron. Well, I do that if feigning deafness doesn't work and they force the issue.

 

The three Magic Questions to ask bureaucrats and law enforcement when they're bothering you are "Huh?" "What do you mean?" and "Why?"

 

Guard: This is private property!

 

Sudden moron: Huh?

 

Guard: You need to leave!

 

SM: What do you mean?

 

Guard: You have to leave the area immediately! It's private property and you can't skateboard/ride a bike/"loiter" here!

 

SM: Why?

 

Guard: I will call the police!

 

SM: Huh? Why?

 

And 'round and 'round you go until they either lose their minds and call the police for real (time to go for real) or just give up and leave you alone since you're obviously too stupid to reason with or intimidate. In any case always present as slightly stupider than any control-freak pinhead you're forced to deal with. It helps a lot. I annoyed a Customs agent so much with that shtick that she rolled her eyes and audibly sighed the biggest frustrated sigh ever and told me to "Go on get out of here..." At which point I quickly complied. And I was rolling dirty, too.

[rockyfungus]

I was cooking today moving maybe a bit over 20MPH and pushing like I was outrunning zombies. Came across an older lady with 2 dogs off leash and they take off after me. One manages to overtake me and I have a choice to either bail, keep going and possibly kill the dog, or punt it like the little asshole it was.

I bailed and got pretty fucking scrapped up and saw RED. I verbally accosted this poor lady and told her to fucking follow the laws of the land or next time you may not have a dog. This isn't the first time I've yelled at this lady or dealt with this. Next time I'm falling on purpose asking for her information and telling her to pay for my medical bills (I won't stick the lady with a bill or go for medical help unless I really eat SHIT). But it's illegal to have a dog off leash, especially a little fucking SHIT at a place with a billion bikers and skaters.

I guess you never outgrow the punk skater, especially when someone else is risking your life instead of yourself pulling stupid stunts

Edited by rockyfungus, 15 May 2021 - 10:25 AM.

[TVCasualty]

Was she at all contrite and apologetic or did she go with the now-typical response of righteous indignation at the very thought that she could have possibly done anything wrong?

 

She assaulted you by virtue of her pinheaded self-absorption because she considered herself above the leash law. Too bad you weren't a big scary bird watcher who made her go viral and shamed her into not being such a goddamned [insert your favorite deeply insulting euphemism or insult here].

 

          

That kind of shit infuriates me because it's what's directly led to the deaths of a couple of acquaintances I used to mountain bike with many years ago. It was a dumb kid (17 years old, 3 months from getting his license) in a fast BMW he couldn't handle (thanks, dad!!), lost it in a curve and hit them going ~120 MPH and at least it was instant, if beyond horrifying in it's aftermath. Kid was bruised and banged up a little but otherwise fine, of course. BMW's are well engineered, I'll give 'em that. "Leave it to Beamer..."

 

That kid had the same basic me-first, me-always attitude as the fucking dog lady, just with more mass and velocity behind it. Though it obviously doesn't take very much mass or velocity to kill or cause the death of a person on a bike or skateboard (or plain ol' feet).

 

 

 

And aren't the newer small-dick energy, uselessly-oversized pickup truck designs awesome (for killing pedestrians and cyclists), too? Yeah, it's getting worse.

 

https://www.iihs.org...rians-than-cars

https://theweek.com/...can-truck-bloat

https://www.outsideo...cyclist-crashes

Edited by TVCasualty, 18 May 2021 - 07:19 PM.

[rockyfungus]

Yeah I didn't say how off the rails I went on the lady as my wife hates when she see's my true colors come out. You make me bleed and it's not going to be pretty. Wife also accused me of kidnapping the dog...

 

If your dog doesn't listen to your commands as the owner let's see how your dog fairs when I keep saying "come here" repeatedly. Got that little shit about 1/4 of a mile before the dog realized, oh shit where's mommy. Of course this Karen-looking cunt feels it couldn't be her fault and it has to be the skater doing illegal skater things. On the way back she had both dogs leashed and was talking out loud about her poor little puppy must of been so scared when it was lost. 

I'm guilty of having my 75 lb scary beast of a dog off leash. I make sure the coast is clear, I'm always thinking ahead of the dog. Pocket full of treats, a shock collar, and dog can't be out of my reach. So, I get having a dog off-leash, but the average Chihuahua, Maltese, or any dog that is a cat in denial...CAN'T BE OFF LEASH, they are more aggressive then the "scary breeds". If your dog has a strong chase reflex why the fuck are you bringing it to a place meant for bikers, skates, and other fast moving wheeled objects. Basic training goes a long way and knowing how YOUR dog will react to different environments.

My wife reminded me this is the 3rd encounter I'm yelled at this cunt...I guess I need to learn to change my skate time, carry treats with me to throw into the river, or practice falling and SEND IT really hard in front of her. 

Those trucks are getting really scary and the average non-endowed male isn't even towing shit or using it for intended purposes other then to stick it to liberals or feel good about burning through gas. We have a rolling coal problem here where the fuckers go to more liberal areas just to spray 'em down with AMERICAN SOOT.

Any petty revenges you can think of if this is going to be a common occurrence. 

[Oldpunk]

Whoa.

Hate to say it but I woulda ran the dog over. I live in the middle of nowhere and my dogs wander free. However....if they cause a problem then most neighbors would just shoot them. My dogs are big and protective, but not mean. In a more populated area though I can see your point. And have certainly known those same kind of people. The older I get the happier I am to live in the sticks.

[Oldpunk]

And damn TV.... Sorry to hear that shit.

A lot of people suck, and it almost seems as though the more $$$ you got, the dumber you become. Especially if you didn't have to earn it yourself.

[TVCasualty]

Yeah I didn't say how off the rails I went on the lady as my wife hates when she see's my true colors come out. You make me bleed and it's not going to be pretty. Wife also accused me of kidnapping the dog...

 

If your dog doesn't listen to your commands as the owner let's see how your dog fairs when I keep saying "come here" repeatedly. Got that little shit about 1/4 of a mile before the dog realized, oh shit where's mommy. Of course this Karen-looking cunt feels it couldn't be her fault and it has to be the skater doing illegal skater things. On the way back she had both dogs leashed and was talking out loud about her poor little puppy must of been so scared when it was lost. 

I'm guilty of having my 75 lb scary beast of a dog off leash. I make sure the coast is clear, I'm always thinking ahead of the dog. Pocket full of treats, a shock collar, and dog can't be out of my reach. So, I get having a dog off-leash, but the average Chihuahua, Maltese, or any dog that is a cat in denial...CAN'T BE OFF LEASH, they are more aggressive then the "scary breeds". If your dog has a strong chase reflex why the fuck are you bringing it to a place meant for bikers, skates, and other fast moving wheeled objects. Basic training goes a long way and knowing how YOUR dog will react to different environments.

My wife reminded me this is the 3rd encounter I'm yelled at this cunt...I guess I need to learn to change my skate time, carry treats with me to throw into the river, or practice falling and SEND IT really hard in front of her. 

Those trucks are getting really scary and the average non-endowed male isn't even towing shit or using it for intended purposes other then to stick it to liberals or feel good about burning through gas. We have a rolling coal problem here where the fuckers go to more liberal areas just to spray 'em down with AMERICAN SOOT.

Any petty revenges you can think of if this is going to be a common occurrence. 

 

Tossing treats into the river is a great idea, lol. I'd like to watch to see what would happen next. I just wish I could throw the owner into the river instead of the treats since that shit is always the owner's fault, not the dog's. So sending it hard into a human's shin (or higher if you can manage it) when their dog forces you down seems fair.

 

I don't know any good tricks to use against people rolling coal but it helps me not get too pissed off about stupid shit like that to remember that they and most of the people who hang out with them when they do it will almost certainly suffer pretty horrible lung ailments (up to and including terminal cancer) thanks to the staggering load of particulates and partially-burnt hydrocarbons they're huffing. They are also the kind of folks who think that "vegetables" are what food eats and Milwaukee's Best Ice qualifies as beer so if the particulates don't cut their lives short then the rest of their lifestyle will. When you see them blackening the sky you're literally watching a slow-motion suicide in progress (the chronic form of suicide is much more common than the acute variety). So stay way the hell away from those idiots.

 

If that's "owning the libs" then by all means, own away...

[rockyfungus]

Edit: No one needs to read an angry rant.

Lady 3 times this week made me bail, so I blew air horn in her face as she was reading a book with her 2 shit dogs off leash. Yelled at her in front of other dog owners and made her hopefully feel like an entitled cunt. She brought the heat by yelling at me earlier to slow down or to walk my board on a multi-use trail.

Informed her the cops will be involved and she will pay for all medical bills the next time she makes me fall.

Edited by rockyfungus, 29 May 2021 - 09:44 AM.

[TVCasualty]

Sometimes reading an inspired, heartfelt angry rant is as cathartic as writing (or shouting) one. Let 'er rip...
 
 
Maybe tell her leash laws are not just about bird watching and that the next time her dogs are off-leash you're going to "Amy Cooper" her with a viral video, lol. Ask her if she wants to be a Twitter or TikTok star.
 
If she gets the reference it might make her connect a few dots between actions and potential consequences that she's otherwise having trouble connecting. Recording any incidents on a GoPro or whatever might be helpful if the police get involved, though if it were me I'd prefer to keep them out of it since skaters don't tend to get much sympathy from cops.
 
It might be productive to find out where she lives (follow her if necessary) and then send her a nice letter asking really politely to please keep her dogs leashed when they're out in public, which is a not-so-subtle way of saying "I know where you live." That's about the only thing that slows some people down when they otherwise can't seem to learn to stop being entitled assholes.

 

Being nice to entitled assholes, such as by deciding not to file charges and forgiving them only empowers them, as we can see now that Amy Cooper is suing her former employer for firing her over the bird watching incident. The details of her suit make it clear that she didn't learn a goddamned thing.

 

Assholes never repent voluntarily.
 

They must be taught.

 

Teach them well.

 

[Ringo]

Here's a thought. I'm a little oob so it might be really stupid but.......

 

Stop at the local store and buy a small bag/box of popular brand dog treats. Stick 2 or 3 in your front left pocket and place the bag where you can get to it (you use a backpack when you skate?).

 

Next time you come to where the dogs are and the dogs start to chase you, STOP. Take a treat from your pocket and toss it to the dog(s), slightly in front of him/her.

 

This should accomplish 3 things. 1, The dogs will be preoccupied and you can continue. 2. After a few times at this (if it gets that far) the dogs may see you differently and simply wait for the treat toss each time you go by. And 3. And, this is by far the most important......THE FUCKING LADY WILL FREAK OUT thinking you are poisoning her dogs. After that, when she sees you coming, she will likely GRAB her dog(s) and bring them to her for protection from you.

 

If a confrontation erupts from you tossing a treat, just show the box/bag of popular brand that everyone knows treats and say a trainer told you to do it.

 

Each time you pass, toss a treat. I am thinking one, or all 3 of those things might happen.

 

Like I said, I am a little oob so I may be crazy. But, I did train dogs for a living for 10 years and have a roomful of blue ribbons from doing it. So, it MIGHT help. At this point, nothing else seems to be working for you.

 

EDIT: Duh, I used to do this when I rode a bicycle. However, after a while, I simply carried a squirt bottle with water in it. Plain water usually works just fine. I did carry a squirt GUN for a while but aiming ANY kind of gun at a dog is going to get you in trouble these days. This is the 21st century and Guns are Bad. LOL So, perhaps a standard water bottle with a squirt cap style lids. Most dogs freak out getting squirted with water. And, it's not so odd for a skater to carry water to drink.

 

Just tossing it out.

Edited by Ringo, 29 May 2021 - 12:28 PM.

[rockyfungus]

I've encountered 2 other shitheads with dogs off leash recently and they are always the classic, karen-looking cunt....why is this, is it genetics, a women equivalent of a mid-life crisis car?

 

I started reading into local laws and I need to get her personal information so I can contact animal control or the police. I can get her dogs removed from her for not following the law. I believe there's a fine and confiscation of the ankle biters. The trail is surrounded by apartments so she must live in the area. 

 

"It shall be the duty of the chief of police, and all other police officers and all animal protection officers, to see that a dog found running at large is taken up and impounded in the redacted Animal Shelter, and such dog may be so taken up without the necessity of filing a complaint and shall be impounded and disposed of in accordance with provisions of article VII of this chapter."

I'll share this cuz I aint proud when the chimp brain decides to not give a shit about any consequences..."You old fucking entitled karen looking boomer. If I see your little shits off leash one more fucking time I will either kill them or yourself. I'm done slowing down and being cautious for you. Leash up your fucking dog especially while there's other pedestrians, runners, bikers here. Everyone else in my vicinity has their dog on a leash and they move out of the way as I approach. But your stupid fucking generation thinks they can do whatever they want without consequences while squandering what the greatest generations fought for."

(haha, I guess some anger about other things came out)

4 other dog owners had huge dogs on leashes right where I had my meltdown.  Probably shouldn't have threatened someone in front of a crowd. I'm moving at high fucking speeds on a trail designed for this shit and you think you don't have to obey multiple fucking laws. I love breaking laws but only when they don't impact anyone else. 

I've lost 3 spots this month to security protecting empty fucking buildings and now the multi-use trail is being overrun by literal dog shit and assholes that don't leash dogs. Wonder if those that don't leash dogs/train dogs are the same that never pickup after them. Why the fuck would you let a dog off-leash on a 25mph bike path! Let's let your dogs play in traffic while were at it.

Time to reopen this mindfulness anger management book...

Ringo, I have plenty of dog treats for my good-girl, none for bad owners though. I get it but skating is my mental-therapy a replacement for bad vices...I can't ration when I'm out enjoying solitude and the sound of birds chirping and suddenly see a little shit sprinting out of grass and ambushing me. I ain't afraid of dogs I'm afraid of my chimp brain just taking out all my frustration and anger at my profession/whole medical field. 

Edited by rockyfungus, 29 May 2021 - 12:42 PM.

[TVCasualty]

You should make your own dog treats that are molded to look like chocolate bars (but contain no chocolate). That'll freak out anyone whose dog is off-leash a bit while presenting no actual risk or stress to the dog.

[rockyfungus]

Decided to re-check out some old spots I got kicked out of to see if they got my picture posted. Within 5 minutes of parking at a spot security was on my ass. Did a few laps around the public roads and went to a parking garage to bomb a few floors.

Security guard was smoking a cigarette mid way down the garage and yelled at me it's a private parking garage. I have few minutes to vacate before police arrive. I yelled, "I bought a parking ticket" and rolled by. Never seen cops do anything in my state, they don't exist, I should wait and see if the FUZZ arrives, and ask them about the laws of public streets/sidewalks. Not that cops know the laws...

 

Been lately doing a bunch of downhill riding, guess 4-5 months after a concussion, fuck it, SEND IT! Getting really comfortable downhill and I know I'm due for a nasty fall. Decided to get back into protective gear and really try to always be in control of my speed. Still not speedchecking or sliding, but I can almost get sideways and shave speed off. I don't get it, on skiis, snowboard, rollerblades, I can do a slide-stop, but on a board that you aren't bound to it's fucking terrifying. 

[Direct Link]

 

Also been getting really comfortable pushing switch, can ride a decent distance switch, but eventually muscles/ankle get weak and I switch to my dominant foot. I'd really like them to study brain connections formed from skateboarding, seems like a sport that is so fucking unnatural and becomes natural that the neural changes are probably drastic. Other sports did not change the way I literally process information at speed. Biking, running, skiing, all are so much different. There's a weird sort of ESP you develop skating as you need to pay attention to a ton of variables and position your body & weight to allow you to stay on a piece of wood with wheels. Like just learning to use your hips, shoulders, and head to move is a strange feeling. Or even balancing on one foot and moving 15+ MPH is a thrill. 

Sorry, tons of dopamine, from conquering a new hill. 

Right, why I posted in first place, fucking ADHD...I had to bail and my board took a nasty fall. Can I just woodglue and vice back together, or better to epoxy and sand?

Edited by rockyfungus, 10 August 2021 - 02:04 PM.

[shiftingshadows]

"Myth: Oedipus and the Riddle of the Sphinx

 

During his great journey, Oedipus came upon the town of Thebes, he found the great Sphinx

there. The Sphinx sat in front of Thebes and asked a riddle of everyone who tried to enter the

city. If you could answer the riddle, the Sphinx let you go, but if you could not answer the

riddle, then the Sphinx ate you! Nobody ever knew the answer. 

 

.   This was the Sphinx's riddle:

What goes on four feet in the morning, two feet at noon, and three feet in the evening?

 

(Answer: a person: A person as a baby in the morning of their life crawls on four feet (hands

and knees).

As an adult in the noon of their life, they walk on two feet.

But when they are old, in the evening of their life, they walk with a cane, on three feet.)"...

 

.   Unfortunately, often both true and unexpected...

Edited by shiftingshadows, 11 August 2021 - 12:58 PM.