3 replies to this topic

[Auhron]

Nice flush of B+ from my tiny stealth grow of 2 pints, 65grams fresh. Ate it all.  Endless interlaced spirals filled with symbols I can't even begin to describe - constantly shifting, I can briefly focus on one section of the spiral and sort of zoom in on it, only to realize that it too, is made of lines that aren't lines at all, but hundreds more of the symbols I can't decipher...

 

What is the message? why can't I make sense of the symbols? Fuck.

Edited by Auhron, 09 April 2021 - 02:12 AM.

[Auhron]

  More mushrooms grew, so last night I picked and ate them, about 60grams fresh.  started out as it usually does, textures start popping into super focus, noticing patterns on common objects that normally go ignored. The grain of the wood of my desk became vibrant almost like there was still life there.  I hadn't ate all day and I felt them coming on strongly, so I turned everything off. Lights, Computer, Phone and laid down. The typical cascading geometric patterns washed over me for some time, I was trying to keep my mind quiet and just let go.

  I don't know how much time had past, but there was a startling moment when a large stag appeared in crystal focus, and I remember thinking "why is there a deer?" The moment stretched on and I felt as though he wasn't looking at me, but into me; I felt vulnerable, exposed - I don't think he was judging me, more like he was evaluating me, then he turned away and with a wash of color, the symbols I mentioned in my last post returned. That lasted for quite a while and my mind started slipping into memories of things I hadn't thought about in years. I thought about the way I treat people, and how I would like to be nicer ( I have a tendency to be rather abrasive ).

 I recalled a day from 8 years ago, I was in a particularly foul mood after a rough day @ work, on a packed train with people crammed in like sardines in the can, standing room only. I was listening to Bad Religion on my headphones while reading Fiests "The Magician", I could feel the scowl on my face - the loud music was droning out the sounds of the people, I was basically just in my own tiny bubble of anger. People tend to leave you alone in that situation. I glanced up and there was this absolutely beautiful woman staring at me - our eyes met and she smiled such a smile I've never seen the likes of since, It felt like a wave of peace and serenity, I smiled back and went back to reading my book for a few minutes.  I glanced up again and she was gone, I've never thought about it since until last night.  The memory brought on tears of joy, and felt uplifted again. Never underestimate the power in a simple day-to-day things. Like a smile.

[Coopdog]

The Stag is an archtype, a spirit animal that has been common since Celtic days or even earlier. It represents the primeval forest and is somehow connected to the Fae and the Green man. I would take that as a positive omen. Bringing up the image from years ago of a woman that smiled and lifted you up, I would call connected. The imagery goes back to time immemorial, and has been a part of the food of the Gods from the beginning. That imagery has been found in art form for as long as there has been anyone to see it or to make it. The fact that you realized your faults is a beautiful thing, and that is how the teachers (mushrooms) teach. They show you yourself. I would see what you went through as the darkness that needs to be changed, and the realization of what can come from that. Your trips were a powerful lesson, so learn from them. Probably more to come I would say. For me mushrooms were all beauty and wonder for the first half a dozen times... then the lessons really kicked in. 

 

EDIT: Fresh mushrooms contain more actives than dried ones, and are a very different and better experience for me anyhow. They contain Baeocistins and Psylocin that dissipate as they dry, and are a much more spiritual experience. 

 

Just my own two cents worth, and thank you for sharing. 

Edited by Coopdog, 16 April 2021 - 01:54 AM.

[Auhron]

Thanks Coopdog. I value the feedback. 

Yes, since I started growing my own (and eating fresh) I would say that my trips felt better and took me further. In my younger days I always did them with people, smaller doses at parties, just to be tripping/getting that giddy feeling. Taken as a drug.  Now that I'm a bit older, and have access to fresh - I don't treat them as the "drug" I did in my youth.  There is certainly more going on when they are fresh, like they know I'm growing them with a purpose, not to sell, or just to get fucked up. I would say recently I'm eating them once per week, maybe every other week.  The first few times I feel helped bring me up from a long depression, smaller doses than these two trip reports, just enough to provide some euphoria and a sense of wellness. These past two, It's not so much that I was "trying" to push the envelope by taking larger doses than I had previously, more that I felt prepared for some deeper introspection and growth. I'm certain there is more they can help teach me. I feel healthier than I have in years (state of mind) and actually look forward with optimism in my life.

Edited by Auhron, 16 April 2021 - 02:36 AM.