More mushrooms grew, so last night I picked and ate them, about 60grams fresh. started out as it usually does, textures start popping into super focus, noticing patterns on common objects that normally go ignored. The grain of the wood of my desk became vibrant almost like there was still life there. I hadn't ate all day and I felt them coming on strongly, so I turned everything off. Lights, Computer, Phone and laid down. The typical cascading geometric patterns washed over me for some time, I was trying to keep my mind quiet and just let go.
I don't know how much time had past, but there was a startling moment when a large stag appeared in crystal focus, and I remember thinking "why is there a deer?" The moment stretched on and I felt as though he wasn't looking at me, but into me; I felt vulnerable, exposed - I don't think he was judging me, more like he was evaluating me, then he turned away and with a wash of color, the symbols I mentioned in my last post returned. That lasted for quite a while and my mind started slipping into memories of things I hadn't thought about in years. I thought about the way I treat people, and how I would like to be nicer ( I have a tendency to be rather abrasive ).
I recalled a day from 8 years ago, I was in a particularly foul mood after a rough day @ work, on a packed train with people crammed in like sardines in the can, standing room only. I was listening to Bad Religion on my headphones while reading Fiests "The Magician", I could feel the scowl on my face - the loud music was droning out the sounds of the people, I was basically just in my own tiny bubble of anger. People tend to leave you alone in that situation. I glanced up and there was this absolutely beautiful woman staring at me - our eyes met and she smiled such a smile I've never seen the likes of since, It felt like a wave of peace and serenity, I smiled back and went back to reading my book for a few minutes. I glanced up again and she was gone, I've never thought about it since until last night. The memory brought on tears of joy, and felt uplifted again. Never underestimate the power in a simple day-to-day things. Like a smile.