Hi everyone, hope you're all well and safe.
Last night I had my first trip ever. I've never had any psychedelic experiences before. I've only done weed and mdma, and after last night I can confirm that both of them are children drugs in comparison.
Now my trip consisted of two parts, one AMAZING with breathtaking visuals and sensations, and the other completely horrible with thoughts that I do not ever wanna encounter again. I'm only gonna share the nice part because I feel the characteristics of the bad part are too personal, in the sense that I think if I share them it would scare some people who should not be scared at all, because those thoughts only apply to me due to my personal life, since everybody creates their own story in their book that is their life and we're all different. I just want to clarify that this does not mean that I had any sort of thoughts of hurting people or anything that would make me a bad person since I've never been one.
Context: I did it alone. I live alone in an apartment with my beautiful tabby cat. I fasted for 8-9 hours and was in a great mood. I boiled some water by itself for about 3-4 minutes (since I've read that reduces the oxygen which causes oxidation), then I crushed 3.3g of Golden Teacher and put it inside a metallic beverage bottle. Introduced the water, the juice of one lemon, and a tea bag of a digestive herbs mix (pennyroyal, chamomile, coriander, peperina, mint and fennel). I let it steep for 30-40 minutes, then played some Jethro Tull (great british band) which I find very soothing and put my phone away in airplane mode. I had prepared a lot of music playlists, the main one being an Ozric Tentacles mix of my favorite songs (you should really check that band out) which I was saving for when the mushies hit me.
I must say I'm a very visual guy. I've had psychedelic experiences with weed so I was really looking forward to this experience mainly because of that.
Experience: So I started drinking the tea (quite nasty but not as bad as I thought it would be) and waited a bit in my couch. I started having some thoughts that I wanted to write down and I did, while starting to feel some changes in my vision and how my body felt. I was feeling quite anxious, walking and waiting. After about 10-15 minutes, I noticed some static patterns on the yellow floor tiles that looked like they were formed by the lights and I didn't quite know if those patterns have always been there or the mushies produced them (they were obviously produced by them). They looked euclidean, which means they go on forever on a plane, so they didn't get bigger or smaller in any direction (sorta like this ).
So I go to the couch and after some more minutes I notice more complex fractal patters, now with size changes and movement. I think the first ones looked like some sort of evil clown smiles, which were fascinating and not frightening at all. They then changed to eyes. I was really happy and impressed and if I looked at them I would get hypnotized until I realize I should look somewhere else. I would then get on the floor and start looking at them really closely. Before having this experience I thought you could abstract yourself from the hallucinations and see the world like you usually do, but the patterns were real, I couldn't see the tiles how they normally were anymore.
I changed the playlist to the Ozric Tentacles one but I felt the music was completely secondary, which I felt kinda disappointing but I realized it was probably because I was paying too much attention to the new stuff I was discovering.
After some time on the ground looking at the fractals move and change, I looked at my cat and she had patterns moving from her nose to the rest of the body. It was fucking amazing. Sorta like this but her fur patterns were moving, not changing colors like a rainbow (it's a gif, open it)
I started to get more and more amazed at the patterns on the floor, and started laying more and more on the ground. Now up to this point the patterns were only present on the surfaces but not on my hands or body, until they started getting more and more intense. I saw tigers on the fractals (sorta like this ), and my hands started to produce patterns too. I realize the music and the patterns and the way my body felt started to connect more and more and I was so amazed and impressed that I just couldn't help laugh a little thinking how the hell do they do it (both the band and the mushrooms).
Now I have a friend living abroad who recently started having lots of experiences with mushrooms and we agreed that we should take them together sometime. I felt I should talk to her and tell her all of this, that I understood everything she told me and I just couldn't believe this. So I grabbed my phone (horrible idea don't do it specially if it's your first time) and started sending her some messages, which I found really hard to do since I just couldn't coordinate very well, she thought I was drunk. The messages were completely unintelligible so I asked her if we could call each other, to which she said yes and received her call. It was really hard to express myself, and I felt quite shy trying to tell her what was going on, but I finally said I had consumed shrooms and she got real happy and welcomed me to the shrooms world, shared a few more words and I realized this was a bad idea since I was calling at night and she was in a park or so, also at night. So we ended the call and I put the phone down feeling quite happy, going back to the floor to see the fractals.
I got to a point were I was laying down on the floor completely hypnotized and happy, looking at the fractals, realizing they looked more alive than ever. They started to look like some organic tissue, as if the floor was made out of some translucent skin with some kind of liquids and organisms moving beneath. Now something interesting happened here, since I was trying to draw on paper what I was looking at (which I found impossible to do since they were constantly changing) I tried using the pencil over the tiles, like trying to trace the moving patterns. When I did that I saw this organic tissue react as if I had hurt it, much like touching a snail's eye. So I immediately stopped.
This stuff wouldn't stop getting more and more intense and I felt like everything was resonating, as if the music, the fractals, the sensations, just everything was coupled. I started feeling so so happy, so grateful for being alive, and suddenly I felt like I understood everything. I understood life, I understood existence, understood why we are here, what we have to do with our lives (which I later found to be rubbish, but I don't want to enter a debate). I noticed I just couldn't stop sticking my tongue out (like classic acid pictures) and rolling my eyes in ecstasy.
My cat was a super high energy fractal ball of fur by now. When I touched her it was the most pleasurable material I've ever touched. Like the fluffiest thickest thing ever. I basically spent a lot of time on the ground looking and feeling. Breathing felt like filling my body with a very powerful high energy air.
Now remember I had my phone completely active by now, so I had access to chatting with whoever I want, and when I said it is a bad idea to get your phone, I meant it is a REALLY bad idea. I had the urge to tell everybody how fucking great life and happiness are, even my mom... I usually have very sweaty hands so my phone tends to do stuff by itself after touching it, and I realized that I was accidentally opening a bunch conversations which then led me to think that I had sent a bunch of accidental messaged to a lot of people including my family, which was a very very bad thing. Luckily nothing happened.
All went downhill from this point so I'm gonna end this here.
Hope you don't find this boring, since I'm a noob at these experiences. If I remember more stuff I'm gonna update it.
Thank you for reading!