Paradox
©
Fisana

Jump to content


Photo
- - - - -

Rough circumstances thread (Positive input for all)


  • Please log in to reply
42 replies to this topic

#21 Coopdog

Coopdog

    Mycotopiate

  • OG VIP
  • 3,274 posts

Donator


Awards Bar:

Posted 23 July 2021 - 09:17 PM

The only thing I killed was a couple of gatorade bottles and some paper targets. I gave up hunting years ago as well. Never was good with it, but where I grew up it was part of becoming a grown man. Took me a while to get to be a grown enough man to say, no sir, I don't care for it. However I DO absolutely love Venison and Elk meat for sure. It's a hell of a conundrum. Luckily I have enough friends who go get meat from time to time, and a local butcher also has wild meat fairly often. If I was hungry I would hunt. I am a damn good shot even long distance, and taken my share of wild things. I just lost my taste for it, not only for spiritual reasons, because those are bullshit, but because I am old and grumpy and tromping around in the hills makes my arthritis hurt. 

 

People can claim to be spiritual all they want, but if you eat at Wendy's or McDonald's or buy meat from the supermarket, then THAT is where the ethical concern should come in. Those animals were likely raised in horrendous conditions, but harvesting a wild elk, that animal lived it's BEST life before it was taken. The ethics of all that gets really twisted up in my opinion.


  • Skywatcher, Juthro and FLASHINGROOSTER like this

#22 DarkNchildlike

DarkNchildlike

    Mycotopiate

  • VIP
  • 1,146 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 23 July 2021 - 10:12 PM

Man my mom is possibly missing RN I'm kinda trippin. I guess she has been gone since last night after a fight with ber bf. Wont answer my calls, I think maybe she us on a bender but she would usually answer my call even if she was hiding out. This doesnt seem the same as those times.
  • Coopdog, Skywatcher and Boebs like this

#23 Boebs

Boebs

    Psychonaut

  • VIP
  • 1,161 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 24 July 2021 - 08:13 AM

I really hope you hear from her soon!
  • Coopdog likes this

#24 DarkNchildlike

DarkNchildlike

    Mycotopiate

  • VIP
  • 1,146 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 24 July 2021 - 10:50 AM

Thanks boebs
  • Coopdog likes this

#25 rockyfungus

rockyfungus

    Mycotopiate

  • Free Member
  • 1,598 posts

Posted 25 July 2021 - 07:04 AM

Ramblings from lack of sleep and sativa too early in the morning...

 

Just wanted to send positivity and love out to anyone that's needing it. I've been rapid cycling in moods as there's a lot of pain in others around me. Sucks as I can't turn it off and just feel way more intensely then my average peer I'd imagine. 

Do we suffer from past karma, or because we enjoy it? I've always been torn between nihilism and Buddhism/karmic ideas. Why do I choose to suffer when I know it's an illusion, temporary, or my own design?  I hope this is the time I break free of the cycle. I have a feeling I still haven't learned shit and need to do this mortal thing a bunch more. Still too easily distracted by pleasures, desires, wants, can't moderate anything...

After my last trip and experiencing death/infinity again I cycle between reincarnation & karma, purgatory/limbo (groundhog dayish), solipsism and of course the cosmic joke...Every time after deep thoughts about what life is I always die laughing because we're the only fucking creature that decides to wear pants...

 

"In this holy reality, in this holy experience // Choosing to be here in.. This body, this body holding me // Be my reminder here that I am not alone in... This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal // All this pain is an illusion"

 

"Round, it always comes around again We've come around but...Here we go round again Round, we always go around again"

Meh, rambling and hope everyone enjoys their SunDay


Edited by rockyfungus, 25 July 2021 - 07:06 AM.

  • Coopdog, Arathu and Skywatcher like this

#26 Arathu

Arathu

    Dirtmaker

  • OG VIP
  • 6,955 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 27 July 2021 - 05:04 AM

IMHO we don't "suffer" from Karma we are to learn from it.....we "suffer" from believing that we ARE the body, lower mind, emotional parts which are actually temporary and quite short lived constructs through which we experience......

 

The soul learns via these carnal experiences.......I get flashes of people's lives and their emotional states as they drive by on the road let alone being around them for any length of time.....it is taxing....

 

I believe we ALL have this capacity and most work very hard to completely repress it and ignore it.....but it doesn't actually go away......wouldn't want to deliberately realize that when we hurt someone we also harm ourselves.......

 

I do still hunt and take meat while also adjusting the speed of my truck so as not to hit the little critters.....in an effort not to kill things randomly any way....... it is and can be approached with respect and sacred gratitude......

 

The body must eat and drink, satisfy the needs.........it get sketchy when we get into the wants and desires and to me that's where we get into our suffering.....Yes indeed we are "paying debts" for past action..

 

The cycles of the sun(s) are the great recycler of carnal matter....ego is simply another tool......I can build things with a hammer and I can also destroy them with the exact same hammer......

 

Peace is way better than war......

 

A


  • Coopdog, Juthro, ElPirana and 1 other like this

#27 Arathu

Arathu

    Dirtmaker

  • OG VIP
  • 6,955 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 27 July 2021 - 05:07 AM

Thanks boebs

Dark, did you're mom come around?

 

A


  • Coopdog likes this

#28 DarkNchildlike

DarkNchildlike

    Mycotopiate

  • VIP
  • 1,146 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 27 July 2021 - 12:08 PM

Hey there brother.

Yes she did!

She is alot worse for wear and i think her old man is leaving her tho.

She is coming back to my home town I dont think she has anywhere to go there in pnw.

She has had a really rough life. I hope this will be an eye opener for her.
  • Coopdog and Arathu like this

#29 DarkNchildlike

DarkNchildlike

    Mycotopiate

  • VIP
  • 1,146 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 27 July 2021 - 12:09 PM

Thanks for the kind thoughts everyone.
  • Coopdog and Arathu like this

#30 Coopdog

Coopdog

    Mycotopiate

  • OG VIP
  • 3,274 posts

Donator


Awards Bar:

Posted 27 July 2021 - 12:46 PM

Very good to hear she showed up Darknchildlike. I missed that post and sorry I did not respond. Caught up in my own madness. Prayers she finds a good place to be. It's alwaya hard coming back to the home town. I know that for a fact, at least for me it is. 



#31 DarkNchildlike

DarkNchildlike

    Mycotopiate

  • VIP
  • 1,146 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 27 July 2021 - 01:47 PM

Yeah, she got married when she was just 16 to leave an abusive home and was never truely in love with my father she was just a kid still. Then got set off to having babies.

My dad got incredibly I'll found out he had ms and she left me to take care of him and i was really upset and felt abandoned for a long time but have since made ammends and I forgive her.

Its really hard for her to face that and fess up to everything shes done but not that we are hard on her we want her to be home its just really hard on her psyche.

Especially to have to depend on her children and stuff, Idk if she is moving back here to stay or if she is just gonna visit.

I got her back tho. Im afraid to see how messed uo she is when she gets here but it wont last. She just goes completely insane on the bad go fast drugs and loses everything and has to start over sometimes but i believe its a journey she has to take and learn from. I support whatever she wants who ever she wants to be. I think she did it because her bf was a total complete square and she had to even hide she had a doctor for opiates from him so there was dishonesty and betrayal from the beginning.

She keeps ending up with men that dictate how she can live and the drugs are a symptom of her being depressed isolated and unhappy. I hope she gets on her feet for herself and can learn to hold herself down and to respect herself.

I havent read much of anyone's posts here but am definitely here for anyone if they want to talk just message me and I'll be back to lend support to eveyone who needs it soon.
  • Coopdog likes this

#32 livefrom215

livefrom215

    Mycotopiate

  • Free Member
  • 244 posts

Posted 27 July 2021 - 03:00 PM

Dark- Im happy to hear your mother is safe and sound! My family has been dealing with something similiar... My wifes sister is a meth addict... she has been in and out of jail/rehabs/homes for the last few years. Its really difficult for my wife bc her parents were both addicts, her and her sister were in and out of foster care but always were placed together so they have a very strong bond. That bond makes it strenuous for my wife to set boundaries and maintain them but as Im sure your aware when someone is in active addiction they aren't hanging around sober people. I'm really glad your able to share some of your personal experience with us so that others in similar situations can come here and feel at ease knowing others have dealt with these issues before and can come here to find advice or simply someone to listen. I feel that most addicts dont ask for help until its too late either do to shame or embarrassment. I wish you and your family the best and again want to thank you for sharing.... You too Coop and everyone else who comes to this site/thread with an open heart and some kind words!!! Much love all--- 

 

So we will share this road we walk,

And mind our mouths and beware our talk

Til peace we find, tell you what Ill do

All the things I own I will share with you

And if I feel tomorrow like I feel today

We will take what we want and give the rest away

Strangers on this road we are on

We are not two, we are one!


  • Coopdog, Arathu and Juthro like this

#33 Arathu

Arathu

    Dirtmaker

  • OG VIP
  • 6,955 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 27 July 2021 - 05:57 PM

That damn sure qualifies as rough circumstances.....

 

Having been involved in the netherworld since before I was a teen.....I have a long list of passed friends and more acquaintances from opiates.....

 

I flirted my self with the pipe for a long time....that shit fucks with your soul.....IMOHO

 

I hope and pray that she throws it away and finds a way to turn life around......it's always there for the taking.....fuck the shame!

 

No one else is any better or worse either.....stigmas suck too...

 

Good vibes and the best for you all......

 

A


  • Coopdog likes this

#34 DarkNchildlike

DarkNchildlike

    Mycotopiate

  • VIP
  • 1,146 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 27 July 2021 - 08:17 PM

Thanks alot libefrom215

And arathu

Y'all rock :)
  • Coopdog likes this

#35 Coopdog

Coopdog

    Mycotopiate

  • OG VIP
  • 3,274 posts

Donator


Awards Bar:

Posted 27 July 2021 - 11:17 PM

I think one of the biggest fallacies about self destructive behavior is that it is intentionally harming anyone else. I have been watching the daily unfolding drama of my wife's 90 year old father trying to navigate our fucked up care system, and keep the property he has lived in all his life and paid off many years ago so his family has some sort of inheritance when he passes. Looking more and more like medicaid will secure that house because he broke his hip. Anyone with intelligence enough to actually see the system we have today might just not want to extend their life so the system can steal their families inheritance. We are living in a very trying time, and people with heart and intelligence are being squeezed for all they are worth. Not in any way justifying anyone else's self destructive tendencies in any way, but saying I might understand more than I care to admit right this minute. 

 

The world I am looking at is not real promising, no matter if you play it smart or not. Please don't think I am self destructive in any way. It's just a pretty fucked up world right now. Hanging in there and hoping it turns around somehow... 


  • Arathu, Skywatcher and FLASHINGROOSTER like this

#36 Coopdog

Coopdog

    Mycotopiate

  • OG VIP
  • 3,274 posts

Donator


Awards Bar:

Posted 28 July 2021 - 03:08 PM

Live from 215, that little poem is awesome. Hit me right in the feels today it did. 


  • livefrom215 likes this

#37 FLASHINGROOSTER

FLASHINGROOSTER

    Semi-Pro Taco Robot

  • Black VIP
  • 2,932 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 28 July 2021 - 03:26 PM

Obviously certain things are beyond our control in life.

 

Sometimes the search for one's happiness can be as simple as reassuring yourself that your okay. Your life is okay, your not a bad person and on some level think that things could always be much much worse. (Not for everybody I realize) I had a conversation one time right after my dad died and hearing this woman tell me how lucky I was to even have a father sure shifts your perspective. She said she grew up without a family and watching the pain in her eyes for that brief moment helped me appreciate the time I was given with mine. There is a massive amount of pain in the world, so much that one can easily drown in it if you go looking too hard. On the flip side of that there is still so much love and beauty out there, trying to focus on the ladder and not the former is important although how to do that I am unsure. Sometimes life walks up and punches you in the throat

 

I wish it was as simple as telling someone to try to keep their chin up and I realize its not. But there is something to that, like when the boys were in those prison camps during the war. In order to maintain sanity they found keeping up with daily routines was critical. Like brushing your hair and teeth ect.. One would think these would be pointless in such a situation but what it did for moral was undeniable.

 

Start with self care and see where it leads you. I have noticed myself that I feel better when I at least try, even if its as simple as buying some new clothes and trying to present yourself at your best. In a way it starts to rub off on your psyche and your self worth can improve alleviating some of the symptoms. Heck even cleaning the house can go a long way sometimes


  • Coopdog likes this

#38 Oldpunk

Oldpunk

    Mycotopiate

  • Black VIP
  • 671 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 28 July 2021 - 03:34 PM

It was good.

Live from 215, that little poem is awesome. Hit me right in the feels today it did.


I was reading this thread before work and its kinda been on my brain today. I've been leery to comment as I usually just bottle it all up. But reading through was like a big mirror on my own life.

Coop, I've had that discussion about health care many times. Even had to go get my mother's assets signed over in an attempt to avoid that situation. Sad the world has come to such greedy depths of inhumanity.

DarknChild n [email protected] It's sad to hear the turmoil. I've been through the wringer and put those around me through hell because of meth. I've lost everything I had, a family, and almost my life. It's a shitty battle and I hope you see brighter days sooner than later.

My last 2 yrs have been a string of shit luck, terrible relationships, house problems, car problems, wife problems, life problems. It really seems like a losing battle some days. But life is all peaks and valleys. And hopefully after this shitstorm passes life will be grand again for a while. I gotta believe this will be. And I hope all of you struggling through tough times catch a good break soon as well.
  • Coopdog likes this

#39 Coopdog

Coopdog

    Mycotopiate

  • OG VIP
  • 3,274 posts

Donator


Awards Bar:

Posted 28 July 2021 - 08:55 PM

Thanks Old punk, I appreciate that. So much rough stuff going on right now it seems silly to even begin to explain it all. My prayers and love and light go out to everyone struggling in this thread. 



#40 FLASHINGROOSTER

FLASHINGROOSTER

    Semi-Pro Taco Robot

  • Black VIP
  • 2,932 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 29 July 2021 - 04:39 PM

When a person is ready, sharing their ills or pains can go a long way, like Sky said sometimes you just need someone to listen to you. Sometimes no reply needed, then others times I think it helps sometimes to see how a person reacts to those thoughts that have been bouncing around in your skull torturing you. And then sometimes you can read something someone else felt and that helps one feel not so alone as well. I encourage any and all to participate if they are wondering if they should

 

In all seriousness folks I see someone use the term shit winds and I can't resist

 

[Direct Link]

 

 


  • Coopdog likes this




Like Mycotopia? Become a member today!