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Lost My Family


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#1 Akari

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Posted 28 July 2021 - 12:35 PM

I've kinda hid away due to that. I'm sure a lot of you have very evil stuff to say to me.

 

I've also basically lost hope of ever finding an actual community, so there's reasons I find this whole thing depressing. I'm about to start therapy though. So hopefully that's as helpful as it's been sold to be.



#2 Myc

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Posted 28 July 2021 - 02:22 PM

You're not alone in feeling - down. Many of us have reached a breaking point.

 

Therapy seems the most productive option. It sure beats sitting around feeling sorry for one's self.

I know from experience that one gets as much benefit from therapy as one is willing to put into the processes learned during therapy.

There is no red pill or blue pill to take that will make everything better (for any length of time). Instead, we form new life processes - ways of thinking, ways of acting, changes in diet and exercise.........All of these minor changes serve to knock the ego off-balance and allow new thought processes to take root. Then, just like with a garden, we have to tend and maintain those processes with occasional pruning, watering, general nurture........And then you look up one day and everything is pretty cool again.

And then one day.........shit happens. But our new life processes help keep us from going into the tank over it.

 

You and I are on the path together my friend.

Speaking to myself here:

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It is destructive and prohibits the entry of healing ideas.

Make that next step. I too, have an appointment for therapy in the near future and I plan to maximize the process by dismissing my preconceived notions and following advice - to the letter. I promise to avail myself to every tool that is offered. I promise to use those tools in order to be a better friend and lead a better life. Excuses are not permitted. My special condition is going to kill me one day if I don't learn to adjust the way I view life and living. And I just don't want to be that special anymore.

 

You have friends Akari. And I feel that you've been a member of this community for some time now.

Your feelings of being judged are just that - - your feelings - fostered by a killer ego - just like the one I have carefully crafted over the years. It'll kill you if you let it. I hope we can find a way around the murderous fiend and rediscover life.


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#3 Oldpunk

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Posted 28 July 2021 - 03:04 PM

Damn. Sorry to hear.
That really sucks. I know. I've been there.
But like Myc says one day you'll look up and everything will be cool again. Just in a different way.

Good luck to you.
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#4 Skywatcher

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Posted 28 July 2021 - 03:47 PM

Akari,

I am sorry to hear this, as I am no stranger to pain. I have nothing but positive vibes to send your way.

 

Ultimately all decisions and choices are yours to make, but I found healing was easier and took a better direction when you have someone you trust to release and sound out with.

I have had some terrible therapists, but I also have had some great ones that truly helped me find my own direction. The best ones will help you find tools you may not have tried or even been aware of, with which to alter the usual "action/reaction" we have been using.

 

Finding a community is not hard. You have always been welcomed here when you feel you want to belong...........

Seek to be well my friend, even if you need to expose a few raw nerves first in order to heal.


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#5 FLASHINGROOSTER

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Posted 28 July 2021 - 03:51 PM

Sounds like you have had to experience the hardest things in life Akari. Losing a loved one.

 

I can understand the feelings of closing down, putting up those defensive walls and retreating into your castle. The end results of trying to escape that pain can shut the world off. Leaving one wondering what all the fuss was about. I got to the point where I was embarrassed or whatever that feeling was, ashamed? When I would see people I had not in a long time. Dreading the conversation and the eventual, "so what have you been up to?" So I stopped going to events where I knew I might see those people. Started shopping early in the morning to avoid the crowds too. Drew my circle of friends down to a very select few

 

It is hard to see when your in the darkness but know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and we are all rooting for you. And of course brother Myc as well


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