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#1 xXHeathenXx

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 07:55 AM

My topic I guess is the "How To" on walking yourself through the process of doing that lvl 5 heroic dose to treat PTSD, Depression, Anxiety. I've been watching many clinical studies and doing alot of research but was wondering if anyone here had any ideas. Idk if my therapist would be ok with me walking in and telling her I'm trippin balls on psilocybin and we need to have a 4hr session.... js. So how do I reach inward and begin to fast track my huge blocks. My 15yr old son was shot and killed 1¾yrs ago. So.... I feel it could go Very well or Terribly wrong. I want to use this for a medicinal purpose first and foremost then I plan to also micro dose. Then I'll have my days or weekends where I have a lighter, more fun dose to watch my favorite things about the universe. Any and all suggestions are welcome as I am a little anxious already and my kit hasn't even gotten here.
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#2 Myc

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 10:56 AM

I've taken large doses on several occasions and the results varied.

Sometimes, I was taken to great heights and shown many things about my personal shortcomings.

Other times I was left cowering under the bed-sheets blubbering snot and crying.

You mileage may vary but I recommend just jumping in there and finding out. Even the "rough" trips dissipated and became more navigable. Good things still came from those experiences as well.


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#3 xXHeathenXx

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 11:33 AM

I've taken large doses on several occasions and the results varied.
Sometimes, I was taken to great heights and shown many things about my personal shortcomings.
Other times I was left cowering under the bed-sheets blubbering snot and crying.
You mileage may vary but I recommend just jumping in there and finding out. Even the "rough" trips dissipated and became more navigable. Good things still came from those experiences as well.

This is going to be the part that is making me anxious. Growing them will be a walk in the park compared to everything it will dig up and make me face. Ughhh

#4 FLASHINGROOSTER

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 12:46 PM

Don't let my actions discourage you I just wanted to share.

 

I abstained from mushrooms for quite a while after a family death as I was honestly too scared to do them. What I can say is that nearly a decade later I did have a magical night where I was finally able to let go of some things. In my experience time has the biggest healing factor of all. I think the most therapeutic part of that trip was having someone to talk to about it all during the revelations. Not the easiest thing to align itself into position but when it did it did in spades. You might not be able to convince a therapist but a good friends ear can do wonders sometimes. One realizes its not so much about what a listener has to say about your thoughts, so much as hearing yourself say the things out loud that have been rattling around in your head. Then again I never went to therapy so you might be miles ahead of me on that part

 

Sadly there is no real guarantee to having that epic dose trip. A couple short things would be to try to line up your ducks to eliminate outside stress. Getting errands done and cleaning the house sort of thing. I would say I have only experienced it one or two times and no matter how high a dose or what steps I take in advance It has been nearly impossible to replicate. The only real suggestion I could give is to keep doing it and don't give up if your not having much initial success.

 

Best of luck to you in your search for peace, know that there is hope out there


Edited by FLASHINGROOSTER, 22 October 2021 - 12:47 PM.

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#5 rockyfungus

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 03:19 PM

While a huge dose can be beneficial sometimes they just leave you with more questions. I have trouble bringing myself to going back there too. Guess I'm too big of a baby and really don't want to deal with my demons. Usually involves lots of crying, anger, confusion, and possibly violence (Everyone will react differently).

I'm not a violent person but on a high enough dose I'm not rational and start swinging and can become destructive...

Either jump right in and blow the doors off of reality, or take your time and enjoy the progress of getting to ego death. I think I get more out of a dose that's strong but I still have clarity. I get more use out of a large but not "heroic" dose (5-7g, guess I got tolerance) and talking out issues with loved ones.


Edited by rockyfungus, 22 October 2021 - 03:21 PM.

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#6 xXHeathenXx

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 03:37 PM

Don't let my actions discourage you I just wanted to share.

I abstained from mushrooms for quite a while after a family death as I was honestly too scared to do them. What I can say is that nearly a decade later I did have a magical night where I was finally able to let go of some things. In my experience time has the biggest healing factor of all. I think the most therapeutic part of that trip was having someone to talk to about it all during the revelations. Not the easiest thing to align itself into position but when it did it did in spades. You might not be able to convince a therapist but a good friends ear can do wonders sometimes. One realizes its not so much about what a listener has to say about your thoughts, so much as hearing yourself say the things out loud that have been rattling around in your head. Then again I never went to therapy so you might be miles ahead of me on that part

Sadly there is no real guarantee to having that epic dose trip. A couple short things would be to try to line up your ducks to eliminate outside stress. Getting errands done and cleaning the house sort of thing. I would say I have only experienced it one or two times and no matter how high a dose or what steps I take in advance It has been nearly impossible to replicate. The only real suggestion I could give is to keep doing it and don't give up if your not having much initial success.

Best of luck to you in your search for peace, know that there is hope out there

Thank you so much
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#7 xXHeathenXx

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 03:39 PM

While a huge dose can be beneficial sometimes they just leave you with more questions. I have trouble bringing myself to going back there too. Guess I'm too big of a baby and really don't want to deal with my demons. Usually involves lots of crying, anger, confusion, and possibly violence (Everyone will react differently).

I'm not a violent person but on a high enough dose I'm not rational and start swinging and can become destructive...

Either jump right in and blow the doors off of reality, or take your time and enjoy the progress of getting to ego death. I think I get more out of a dose that's strong but I still have clarity. I get more use out of a large but not "heroic" dose (5-7g, guess I got tolerance) and talking out issues with loved ones.

Really appreciate the input man

#8 Micogi

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 03:48 PM

Well, hopefully you're comfortable with your therapist, you could always broach and say you're doing this with or w/o her and for therapeutic purposes you'd rather with her.

 

What's your background experience with psychedelics? Hopefully you're not planning on starting with a heroic dose, at least I wouldn't recommend such.

I'd start with some lower dosed experimental trials, you could also dabble with settings/places if you don't end up with your therapist.

You may find you can work things out yourself and maybe talk with your therapist after the fact.

There's a variety of ways to go about this, hopefully someone will pipe up with therapeutic experience.

 

My intention is micro-dosing, hopefully I'll be mindful of that come harvest...

But I'm looking at it for more a therapeutical/spiritual experience than tripping.


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#9 bezevo

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 07:48 PM

Build a repore on this idea with your therapist. go to MAPS  and look for info  on current studies At US and British University's on using mushrooms for anxiety , PTSD  AADD , OCDD ect . some of theses  Human trial studies are on level three thats  the last step before they must be rescheduled so  Dr.  can prescribe . copy positive study results that might aply too you  . Give them to your therapist to read . then broach your idea of arriving for a session shortly after ingesting .

Also if Your theripist  is seemingly open minded lend them a copy of Dr. James  Fadamen's Psychedelic Explores Guide .   (Safe, Therapeutic, and Sacred Journeys )

  .. you should consider  reading  this book  also .  buy cpl copys on Amazon .

 

One copy for you  and one to loan out to your therapists  . 

Also there are a cpl excellent  lectures by Dr. James  Fadamen on You Tube

 

https://www.amazon.c...s/dp/1594774021

 

ok  good luck  BEZ


Edited by bezevo, 22 October 2021 - 07:53 PM.

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#10 Micogi

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 10:00 PM

Dr. James Fadamen's Psychedelic Explores Guide . (Safe, Therapeutic, and Sacred Journeys )
.. you should consider reading this book also . buy cpl copys on Amazon .
https://www.amazon.c...s/dp/1594774021


Thanks for this, going to get a copy for myself. I don't know if it's your link or a site thing but your Amazon link goes to Abe books. For me anyway.

https://www.amazon.c...s/dp/1594774021

Edited by Micogi, 22 October 2021 - 10:02 PM.

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#11 Salty117

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 10:42 PM

Like Flashing Rooster mentioned, time is the best remedy for deep wounds.

 

With something so personal and trauamatizing as losing a loved one, a child at that, I can't imagine there's any one way to expedite the recovery from that. Perhaps try to practice mediation and see if that makes an impact on the things that could be throwing a monkey wrench in your day to day routine. Idk about others, but I feel like the clearer my mind is going into the trip allows myself to assimilate with the psychedelic experience in a less turbulent manner. I would still expect strong emotions however, especially on a high dose.

 

Are you considering "going it alone" or do you plan to have someone sober present to prevent you from possibly engaging in irrational behavior/acting on the strong emotions you may experience?


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#12 bezevo

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Posted 22 October 2021 - 11:22 PM

THANKS Mycogi

Hummm  ...weird !  The link goes to  AMAZON  for me

 

Anyway a great book check out a cpl of Dr. James  Fadamen's lectures on you tube .

 

Bez


Edited by bezevo, 22 October 2021 - 11:24 PM.

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#13 Sidestreet

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 03:35 AM

 

Are you considering "going it alone" or do you plan to have someone sober present to prevent you from possibly engaging in irrational behavior/acting on the strong emotions you may experience?

 

Salty has a good question.  It might be a good idea to have someone there whom you trust to help you through if things get tough.  That person doesn't have to be right next to you the whole time. 

 

Or if your therapist doesn't want to help you talk through things, maybe a close friend or family member would be willing?

 

I also think you should try to take care of any nagging chores, things you've been meaning to do, and house cleaning before you trip.

 

What's your experience with psychedelics so far?


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#14 xXHeathenXx

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 10:01 AM

Well, hopefully you're comfortable with your therapist, you could always broach and say you're doing this with or w/o her and for therapeutic purposes you'd rather with her.

What's your background experience with psychedelics? Hopefully you're not planning on starting with a heroic dose, at least I wouldn't recommend such.
I'd start with some lower dosed experimental trials, you could also dabble with settings/places if you don't end up with your therapist.
You may find you can work things out yourself and maybe talk with your therapist after the fact.
There's a variety of ways to go about this, hopefully someone will pipe up with therapeutic experience.

My intention is micro-dosing, hopefully I'll be mindful of that come harvest...
But I'm looking at it for more a therapeutical/spiritual experience than tripping.

I've done mushrooms and lsd many times over my 41 years. Mostly for fun when I was younger. I won't do lsd again but I have some control w mushrooms. It's a great experience. But with the ptsd and my only child being murdered...... I just don't know how it'll go but I'm goin to start w a 3g dose and some meditation just to get a feel for it. Then I want to have a life changing experience cuz I am suffering badly. It's gotta change. I don't want to continue on feeling like I do. This is a last ditch resort. I feel good about it tho. I haven't been to my son's grave since I watched him lowered into the hole. So that's something I'll need to do first.
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#15 xXHeathenXx

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 10:02 AM

Well, hopefully you're comfortable with your therapist, you could always broach and say you're doing this with or w/o her and for therapeutic purposes you'd rather with her.

What's your background experience with psychedelics? Hopefully you're not planning on starting with a heroic dose, at least I wouldn't recommend such.
I'd start with some lower dosed experimental trials, you could also dabble with settings/places if you don't end up with your therapist.
You may find you can work things out yourself and maybe talk with your therapist after the fact.
There's a variety of ways to go about this, hopefully someone will pipe up with therapeutic experience.

My intention is micro-dosing, hopefully I'll be mindful of that come harvest...
But I'm looking at it for more a therapeutical/spiritual experience than tripping.

I live in South Carolina. I doubt I can get a therapist to play along.

#16 TVCasualty

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 12:39 PM

 I have some control w mushrooms.

 

 

I would suggest abandoning this line of thinking as it will be proven false when you least expect it.

 

No matter how long you've been doing them they will always be fully capable of rocking your world beyond what you believe you can handle (it even happened to Terence McKenna!).

 

One of the biggest advantages of using fungi for manifesting these experiences is that no matter how harrowing or overwhelming an unexpectedly-intense trip may be, you WILL survive and come back down from it (assuming you're not tripping in a physically dangerous setting or something not directly related to the mushrooms themselves). It can really help to remember that during the dicier moments that sometimes happen. So pick your setting carefully for large doses.

 

I've also had very strong, high-dose trips that were pure beautiful ecstasy (much better than MDMA) from beginning to end, and they were as therapeutic and healing as any difficult confrontation with heavy personal stuff, etc..

 

Fungi in particular have a way of giving us what we need rather than what we want, though sometimes we get lucky and they are in alignment. We don't always need our metaphysical ass kicked, and laughter and pleasure are not un-spiritual or whatever. Most trips seem to contain a few of all of these kinds of moments, kind of like life itself.

 

Some would argue that I was being reckless or taking crazy risks when I took a very large dose (7 cracker-dry indoor-grown cubes) all by myself during a period when I my state of mind was actively suicidal, and that was for my very first psychedelic experience ever (before I even tried cannabis). But it changed everything, for the better. And forever. I've also gone deep after people very close to me have been killed by violence and it helped me process the resulting emotional mess.

 

I get the impression that entheogens respect and reward commitment. How bad do you want what you are seeking? Scratch that, how bad do you need what you are seeking? I was ready to die for it (and for much less, frankly), and so I jumped off the edge into the unknown, come what may. Now I just take my dose with an intent of experience whatever comes. It will anyway, so we might as well embrace it.

 

When it comes to spiritual pursuits, a general rule that my experience suggests is true is that the greater the need, the greater the result. What does your intuition/inner vision tell you? Follow that when it comes to tripping and dosage, even if (or especially if) your gut is telling you "not today." I've had awesome trips taken totally spontaneously; saw my stash in the freezer while not thinking about psychedelics, decided "screw it, I'm gonna trip today!" and it was great. I've had other moments when I'd planned a trip for weeks, drove all the way up to a friend's farm (my favorite setting), and had it all weighed and laid out and a fire built outside, etc. and my gut said "no," so I didn't. It was disappointing, but I knew from unpleasant past experience that it's much worse to ignore that feeling and charge ahead anyway.

 

Mushrooms ARE a kind of "therapist" (IMO). Apparently they're the best deal in town, too. One hour of conventional therapy costs more than it takes to get the gear needed to have a head stash of mushrooms for the rest of our lives.

 

One thing fungi made vividly clear to me is that no matter what happens after we are done here on Earth, we will end up in the same "place" that everyone we love who has already departed ends up, so at least there's nothing to fear in that regard, and possibly something to very much look forward to.

 

Either way, we're just passengers wearing borrowed clothes on a ride we didn't build with a destination we can't fathom:

 

If I could taste one sip of an answer,
I could break out of this prison for drunks.
I didn’t come here of my own accord, and I can’t leave that way.
Whoever brought me here, will have to take me home.

 

-Rumi, who I suspect reincarnated as Bill Hicks

 

 

I haven't been to my son's grave since I watched him lowered into the hole. So that's something I'll need to do first.

 

 

I can't imagine what that is like. No one should ever have to find out. But make that visit that when you're ready, which might be after you go deep with fungi. What does your intuition/inner vision tell you?

 

 

And welcome to Mycotopia. You've come to the right place.


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#17 FLASHINGROOSTER

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Posted 23 October 2021 - 01:02 PM

That's a heavy weight you carry sir. The anger I felt during those tough times almost consumed me. In your situation I could only imagine how the circumstances of his death compounded those feelings of anger. I have never fully gotten rid of those feelings but with time they became more manageable.  My thoughts became less paralyzed and I was able to talk about it, thats one thing I think about. It took me a lot of years to even find the right words, to find my voice again. In the initial stages it felt like I was placing my foot in my mouth a lot trying to explain these intense thoughts and feelings to others that tried as they might could not understand.


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#18 xXHeathenXx

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Posted 24 October 2021 - 04:54 PM

I have some control w mushrooms.


I would suggest abandoning this line of thinking as it will be proven false when you least expect it.

No matter how long you've been doing them they will always be fully capable of rocking your world beyond what you believe you can handle (it even happened to Terence McKenna!).

One of the biggest advantages of using fungi for manifesting these experiences is that no matter how harrowing or overwhelming an unexpectedly-intense trip may be, you WILL survive and come back down from it (assuming you're not tripping in a physically dangerous setting or something not directly related to the mushrooms themselves). It can really help to remember that during the dicier moments that sometimes happen. So pick your setting carefully for large doses.

I've also had very strong, high-dose trips that were pure beautiful ecstasy (much better than MDMA) from beginning to end, and they were as therapeutic and healing as any difficult confrontation with heavy personal stuff, etc..

Fungi in particular have a way of giving us what we need rather than what we want, though sometimes we get lucky and they are in alignment. We don't always need our metaphysical ass kicked, and laughter and pleasure are not un-spiritual or whatever. Most trips seem to contain a few of all of these kinds of moments, kind of like life itself.

Some would argue that I was being reckless or taking crazy risks when I took a very large dose (7 cracker-dry indoor-grown cubes) all by myself during a period when I my state of mind was actively suicidal, and that was for my very first psychedelic experience ever (before I even tried cannabis). But it changed everything, for the better. And forever. I've also gone deep after people very close to me have been killed by violence and it helped me process the resulting emotional mess.

I get the impression that entheogens respect and reward commitment. How bad do you want what you are seeking? Scratch that, how bad do you need what you are seeking? I was ready to die for it (and for much less, frankly), and so I jumped off the edge into the unknown, come what may. Now I just take my dose with an intent of experience whatever comes. It will anyway, so we might as well embrace it.

When it comes to spiritual pursuits, a general rule that my experience suggests is true is that the greater the need, the greater the result. What does your intuition/inner vision tell you? Follow that when it comes to tripping and dosage, even if (or especially if) your gut is telling you "not today." I've had awesome trips taken totally spontaneously; saw my stash in the freezer while not thinking about psychedelics, decided "screw it, I'm gonna trip today!" and it was great. I've had other moments when I'd planned a trip for weeks, drove all the way up to a friend's farm (my favorite setting), and had it all weighed and laid out and a fire built outside, etc. and my gut said "no," so I didn't. It was disappointing, but I knew from unpleasant past experience that it's much worse to ignore that feeling and charge ahead anyway.

Mushrooms ARE a kind of "therapist" (IMO). Apparently they're the best deal in town, too. One hour of conventional therapy costs more than it takes to get the gear needed to have a head stash of mushrooms for the rest of our lives.

One thing fungi made vividly clear to me is that no matter what happens after we are done here on Earth, we will end up in the same "place" that everyone we love who has already departed ends up, so at least there's nothing to fear in that regard, and possibly something to very much look forward to.

Either way, we're just passengers wearing borrowed clothes on a ride we didn't build with a destination we can't fathom:

If I could taste one sip of an answer,
I could break out of this prison for drunks.
I didn’t come here of my own accord, and I can’t leave that way.
Whoever brought me here, will have to take me home.


-Rumi, who I suspect reincarnated as Bill Hicks

I haven't been to my son's grave since I watched him lowered into the hole. So that's something I'll need to do first.


I can't imagine what that is like. No one should ever have to find out. But make that visit that when you're ready, which might be after you go deep with fungi. What does your intuition/inner vision tell you?


And welcome to Mycotopia. You've come to the right place.
My intuition tells me to just go w the flow in the moment. I usually go w my instinct when the time is right. Sometimes it's very spontaneous and sometimes it's something I've meditated about or sometimes it's just how I feel after I wake up after having done the "sleep on it" technique.
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#19 xXHeathenXx

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Posted 24 October 2021 - 04:59 PM

That's a heavy weight you carry sir. The anger I felt during those tough times almost consumed me. In your situation I could only imagine how the circumstances of his death compounded those feelings of anger. I have never fully gotten rid of those feelings but with time they became more manageable. My thoughts became less paralyzed and I was able to talk about it, thats one thing I think about. It took me a lot of years to even find the right words, to find my voice again. In the initial stages it felt like I was placing my foot in my mouth a lot trying to explain these intense thoughts and feelings to others that tried as they might could not understand.

Only a few months before I was working w my uncle in Texas, trying to get home to my son. My 73yr old uncle feel off the roof, head first into the concrete. There's so many things that could manifest during my journey inward..... I will most likely test the waters w just a 3-4g dose first to make sure I don't have tendency to get violent. I am prone to violence now alot because I just find it hard to gaf. Everything I held dear has been taken away. I want to find peace, happiness, and most importantly, Enlightenment. I'm tired of "Trying" new meds to see if that will work because I know they won't. It's something only I, myself, can come to grips with and heal.
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#20 xXHeathenXx

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Posted 24 October 2021 - 05:03 PM

Like Flashing Rooster mentioned, time is the best remedy for deep wounds.

With something so personal and trauamatizing as losing a loved one, a child at that, I can't imagine there's any one way to expedite the recovery from that. Perhaps try to practice mediation and see if that makes an impact on the things that could be throwing a monkey wrench in your day to day routine. Idk about others, but I feel like the clearer my mind is going into the trip allows myself to assimilate with the psychedelic experience in a less turbulent manner. I would still expect strong emotions however, especially on a high dose.

Are you considering "going it alone" or do you plan to have someone sober present to prevent you from possibly engaging in irrational behavior/acting on the strong emotions you may experience?

I am considering going to it alone. Atleast my first or 2nd times. I need to see the beginning stages of how this may go lol. "Test the waters" so to speak.
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