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Psychotic episode


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#1 Dabluebonic

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Posted 04 January 2022 - 12:48 PM

I will apologize in advance if I offend anyone or if this has been discussed already. But I am trying to cope with what I went through lastnight. I was going to wait a few days to bring this up but I feel as if I need to get it out.

I want to keep this as short and sweet as possible so I will spare most details. But lastnight I had eaten roughly 10g cubensis. After an extreme euphoric come-up in my bed, I went to grab some water in my kitchen. All of a sudden I was hit with an overwhelming feeling of terror and confusion. It was as if I was flipping in and out of psychosis. I tried to talk myself out of it but there was just no chance.

After about 10 minutes of this the anxiety and adrenaline was so bad I told my gf I was going to walk down the street and call an ambulance. She kept telling me I was ok and it's not real. But I kept apologizing as I was sure I would never be the same.

After hours of this torture I started to hear very faint voices in the background. I could not understand what they were saying. Feeling stuck in psychosis I came to the conclusion the only way to stop this was suicide. Luckily I was able to escape that mindset.

This is not a scare story. More of a warning of what could happen. I love shroomies. The feeling of being connected with everyone, and everything will be ok. The love and brotherhood that can be felt is truly a gift to us humans. But I can see why some people need therapy after experiencing this. I for one will never consume that much at once. 3-4g cubes seems to be a safer ride for me..

Any insight on this would be amazing. Maybe tricks to deal with psychotic episodes from psilocybin? I've read the therapudic dose given to clinical study participants is roughly equal to 3g cubensis. Is this true? Ty again mycotopia.
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#2 FLASHINGROOSTER

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Posted 04 January 2022 - 01:59 PM

Sounds like a bad trip indeed sir. Suicide is a scary thing so I can understand why you would feel shaken after such an event. I have had a trip or two that I wanted to be over, thats for sure. Nothing leading me to quite that level of escape though

 

Strange things can happen when you start to go into the higher doses. I have trouble staying awake myself, often the visuals become to intense and my brain wants to lay down and close my eyeballs. Often "waking" up a little while later but you realize you weren't passed out so to speak but also not in my living room if that makes any sense. I have had some strange times where I came back into reality and I was standing in the dark corner of the room, kinda of like on Blair witch project haha. It made me feel like a weirdo thats for sure

 

Its not uncommon for one to have the thought of "oh no what have I done" on the higher doses. After that initial euphoria passes it kicks into the intense phase often leaving one saying "fuck, why did I do this..." Sometimes the reflection in the mirror is too much to take. Hold on and when you come out on the other side you usually feel amazing. For me the experience usually involves my life being pulled out like an accordion and my problems looked at like it was a meeting at the gates of heaven. Hard to describe such a feeling really. That internal discussion with myself always leaves a lasting impression on what I need to work on when trying to make life better


Edited by FLASHINGROOSTER, 04 January 2022 - 02:03 PM.

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#3 Ferretious

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Posted 04 January 2022 - 04:02 PM

Sounds familiar. Bum trip plus exacerbated by a high dose. It sounds identical to the horror I went through twenty odd years ago. but without the thoughts of suicide. It doesn't have to even be an exceptionally high dose to have the horror trip. The one time I did have too many mushrooms I ended up just "Couch potato'd" until it wore off. Mushrooms are a little more unpredictable than the likes of LSD. And yes, I've had a bum trip on acid as well. Not fun either!


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#4 Coopdog

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Posted 04 January 2022 - 04:44 PM

I haven't done a high dose mushroom trip in about ten years. I had a very strange experience where I just felt primal and powerful, and my wife was only on maybe two grams at most, and just out of the blue said I was scaring her. That did some weird shit to my head. I was literally flooded with images of tearing her apart. (That was very hard for me to write) I did not act on, nor speak out on any of that, immediately taking myself outdoors to the back porch. I didn't say a word, but that was a completely alien thought to me, as my wife and I have never even had a real fight, and I cherish her above all else, and would never entertain such thoughts. The mushrooms brought out the big bad wolf in me in a primal way that has never ever come close to surfacing before. 

 

Since then I have had several nights where I ate 10-15 grams or so, but never more than about 3-4 at once. She said I was scaring her, but in reality I scared myself. No sir I didn't like it. My brother has recently started indulging in mushrooms every now and then, and he prefers to do at least 7 grams at a time all at once. I have told him this can possibly go south and to be aware of his thoughts and actions when he trips like that, but he just laughs it off. I have warned him and that is all I can do. Mushrooms can throw you one hell of a curveball sometimes no matter how experienced you are. 

 

Glad you made it through to the other side man. 


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#5 Juthro

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Posted 04 January 2022 - 04:51 PM

When going deep with a heavy dose, especially if you dont have a lot of experience with high doses, it is not a bad idea to have an experienced trip sitter on hand.   

 

Shrooms at that level tend to not be recreational, and are more a self psychotherapy session (IMO).  They tend to show the things in your mind that your ego has buried deep enough that you can ignore them.  They show you what you need to see, not what you want to see.   It can be truly terrifying to be confronted by all that inner baggage all at once.    A good trip sitter can often help you through these moments by talking you through it, or by changing your setting and redirecting your attention, but not always.  Sometimes the ride is just a freight train, and it takes you to wherever the track goes.

 

It is difficult at the time, but you need to remember the trip will end after a while and you will be OK.   Try and calm yourself with those thoughts when overwhelmed.  I know, it is easier said then done, but it can be done.

 

Wishing you safe, and heathy self enlightenment moving on.


Edited by Juthro, 04 January 2022 - 04:53 PM.

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#6 Dabluebonic

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Posted 04 January 2022 - 07:31 PM

Ahh wow these are good responses I too felt some things were hard to write. Their are some videos I watched where people talk of schizophrenia being activated and some people GET stuck. Like the guy from pink Floyd that's just one off the top of my head. It can happen and what I shame. To go for healing and end up sicker then you could ever imagine. Being Stuck in hell, I now have a big heart for persons with schizophrenia.

The reason for that big trip was because my previous one had failed to lift my depression. I will say today I feel great. After comming to terms with what I went through I feel it was worth it. I don't crave my nightly 6 pack. My thought pattern is very positive I am for sure experiencing life the way I want. Praying that this feeling last long. And hopefully I won't need such a high does to see the benefits in the future.
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#7 coorsmikey

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Posted 04 January 2022 - 07:43 PM

I like to take large doses and always have. I have learned over the years that the same large dose I like is not for everyone I choose to share that experience with. I am guilty of convincing others that it would be great and some will never try it again. I'm not gonna claim to know what exactly happen with that trip, Perhaps a suggestion to all that look at this topic. I keep an Emergency Response Kit on hand when I am around anyone doing psychedelic now. Fortunately I have never needed for a bad ride. Beyond the basic first aid kit I keep stocked with a collection of good positive tunes and Benzodiazepines, which work quite well at pulling one out of a dark place and preparing one to sleep a lot sooner than waiting for 10gr to wear off

Edited by coorsmikey, 04 January 2022 - 07:44 PM.

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#8 ElPirana

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Posted 05 January 2022 - 12:53 AM

A few years ago, nearly all my trips were large doses. For me it was usually 6-7 grams, and that was enough to keep my body stuck to the bed while my mind shot off to other realms. Sometimes had some mind-bending trips that left me feeling disconnected and full of anxiety & fear. I often came away from those with a message, but looking back I’m just not sure how therapeutic those were.

The past couple years I’ve changed to doing lower doses, generally between 2-3.5 grams. I can definitely say without a doubt that I’ve had a lot of self-therapy in those ranges. I have been able to work through so much, insights into relationships, connections to childhood memories that were otherwise long forgotten, empathy with other people, and in general facing my own shit that my ego would normally choose to ignore.

I’d say to listen to yourself, feel out what is right for you.
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#9 Juthro

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Posted 05 January 2022 - 03:18 AM

I absolutely agree with what ElP has to say here.  While I tend to trip in the 7 to 10g range when I feel the need, that's just me, and what I need to get where I looking for.   Admittedly I'm a hard head, but that's not a badge of honor, it's just the who I am and the way I'm wired.  It doesn't make me better, or worse. 

 

It's all about getting to where you need to be, there are no bonus points for ingesting the largest dose.


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#10 Dabluebonic

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Posted 05 January 2022 - 11:01 AM

I absolutely agree with what ElP has to say here.  While I tend to trip in the 7 to 10g range when I feel the need, that's just me, and what I need to get where I looking for.   Admittedly I'm a hard head, but that's not a badge of honor, it's just the who I am and the way I'm wired.  It doesn't make me better, or worse. 
 
It's all about getting to where you need to be, there are no bonus points for ingesting the largest dose.


The bonus I I was looking for was purely mental health relief although this is a good conversation piece with friends lol. But I would never encourage anyone to dive that deep I would leave that for them to decide. I wouldn't want to be held accountable for someone having a terrible experience.

It was very intense and could feel my brain swell. Alot of energy the next day I didn't even want to smoke cigarettes. And it wasn't even a goal to quit.
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#11 FLASHINGROOSTER

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Posted 05 January 2022 - 05:03 PM

This is all just my crack pot personal opinion but I think part of what you describe coop has to deal with this thing that happens in our brains when we take mushrooms. The barrier between our two "brains" breaks down and you get some scary peeks into what that other guy is up to.

 

If we choose to use the terms conscious and unconscious mind, or subconscious mind, the latter is in charge of making sure this vessels survives and is successful in its environment. I think of the subconscious like this super simulator that is always running and thinking every single crazy messed up thought you could ever imagine. Like the most awful things you could imagine things I don't need to say. Anyway normally we never see any of that process or for that matter even know that it is going on. For some reason I can't help but feel that the mushrooms allow some internal communication or awareness of one another. A temporary bridge built from the mysterious connections the mushroom can make

 

 

 

For some time now, researchers have suspected that psilocybin, the hallucinogen chemical present in ‘magic mushrooms’, may be able to reshape brain cells. Now, with the ability to buy mushrooms online and by using brain models, they have been able to visualize how they are able to do so. 

To create their model, the researchers took brain images from nine people either injected with psilocybin or a placebo.

 

They then used these images to create a ‘whole-brain connectome’ providing a picture of all the neurons in the brain, alongside activity of different neurotransmitters. 

 

While under normal conditions neurons fire neurotransmitters along well-trodden neural pathways in the brain, they found that when on magic mushrooms, these pathways were ‘destabilized’. Rather than traveling along the well-trodden pathways, the neurotransmitters tended to take new ‘roads’ to new destinations. 

 

In the end, their models showed that while on magic mushrooms, the brain taps into new networks by coupling the effects of neuron activity and the release of neurotransmitters. 

 

To understand the extent of the interdependency between neuron activity and the release of neurotransmitters, they then adjusted the model to have these processes work independently of each other. Under these conditions, they ultimately found that the same ‘destabilization’ process did not happen. The researchers thus concluded that both the receptors and patterns of neuron activity are necessary for psilocybin to have its psychedelic effects. 

It has long been a puzzle how the brain's fixed anatomical connectome can give rise to so many radically different brain states; from normal wakefulness to deep sleep and altered psychedelic states,” says Morten Kringleback, first author of the study and senior research fellow at the University of Oxford, England. 

 

“We only have a fixed amount of hardware in the brain, yet we're running highly complicated software that produces dreams, consciousness, and — if someone is on a drug like DMT — "breakthrough experiences."

 

The team hopes that their model will provide a basis to understand more about how psychedelics such as psilocybin can rebalance neuropsychiatric disorders such as treatment-resistant depression and addiction.



[Direct Link]

 

https://www.labroots...structure-brain

 

With the big trips I find once you have had the revelation so to speak, the benefit of revisiting them soon after seems to diminish. The caveat being that with time those feelings of well being tend to fade so another big dose is in order at that point. I have not really tried to stick to a regiment or schedule to be able to quantify it in a meaningful way, the mushrooms is so mysterious that trying to compare trips and doses becomes a difficult task indeed. Like the guys said finding out what works for you is important.

 

 

Alot of energy the next day I didn't even want to smoke cigarettes.

 

It does seem to energize and motivate me as well. Usually wake and bake and did not feel the need at all the next day. All of a sudden no stress feeling, and trying to get things done I have been neglecting. I made the mistake of not cleaning my house well enough on Monday before a big dose. Spent the second half my trip in a cleaning frenzy, its tricky to clean when you can't tell the difference between the glare and visual distortions. Woke up the next day and found a few spots that were hilariously poorly cleaned. Frick it looked spotless yesterday. Kitchen looks great now though


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#12 ElPirana

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Posted 05 January 2022 - 08:09 PM

This is all just my crack pot personal opinion but I think part of what you describe coop has to deal with this thing that happens in our brains when we take mushrooms. The barrier between our two "brains" breaks down and you get some scary peeks into what that other guy is up to.

 

If we choose to use the terms conscious and unconscious mind, or subconscious mind, the latter is in charge of making sure this vessels survives and is successful in its environment. I think of the subconscious like this super simulator that is always running and thinking every single crazy messed up thought you could ever imagine. Like the most awful things you could imagine things I don't need to say. Anyway normally we never see any of that process or for that matter even know that it is going on. For some reason I can't help but feel that the mushrooms allow some internal communication or awareness of one another. A temporary bridge built from the mysterious connections the mushroom can make

I agree with you rooster, I really feel that mushrooms can put you directly in touch with the unconscious.  That doesn't seem so far fetched, after all we seem to get messages from the unconscious while dreaming asleep, why not get them when tripping?  When messages come to me in trips, I can feel that those thoughts were often just under the surface, never arising while in a sober wakeful state, but easily identified and personal when it comes up in the trip. 

 

And for those awful thoughts that can arise....there's a whole range of good and bad within us, and in our conscious lives we push down those aspects of ourselves that we don't want to identify with.  But those hidden parts are still there.  I think that's also why we can have such an array of experiences in our dreams, sometimes acting in a manner completely contrary to anything we would do while awake, because those parts are always there and in the dream state you are uninhibited.
 


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#13 Severian

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Posted 07 January 2022 - 03:57 PM

Vomiting. 

 

When that shit starts happening- FORCE yourself. I've been in similar situations; and the internal-monologue/voices/whatever are dead set against the purge happening, and will, through justifications, through distractions, through laziness, through sleepiness- literally whatever tools they can possibly bring to bear, attempt to stop you from doing so- to keep you in the psychosis/confusion/terror place.... Claiming space is necessary and literally expelling them from your body is what needs to happen- It's a terribly unpleasant thought before hand, but it's the only surefire way I know to control these high-dose experiences, and the after-glow/energy is well, well worth it.

 

Call it the Id, the unconscious, or negative extradimensional-bio-spiritual-parasites; there's 'entities'/conciousnesses that are NOT US living in the 'negative energy' we have inside us- - - Use more 'Western Medical paradigm' approved language if you wish- 'parasites/fungus/candida' - it's been demonstrated on a 'scientific' level that these have the ability to influence our tastes and our behavior- - - In all my plant medicine experiences, in my deep Vipassana experiences, in my Mushroom experiences; These do 'unlock the door of the unconscious'.... and these things DO NOT like being seen. For good reason- Because they can continue to live and thrive in 'unoccupied rooms in our temples'.... 


Edited by Severian, 07 January 2022 - 04:04 PM.

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#14 Justintime

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Posted 01 April 2022 - 11:35 PM

Hearing voices is common on trips I've had.
I usually hear a few females and a male talking, giggling, discussing me. I never quite catch what they're saying but they're friendly spirits.
I sometimes hear them when I'm under no influence at all. Usually if I drop into Theta brain oscillation.
These are connected to me. I think they're some spirit guides or from my soul group.
But on one trip I was listening to them and further away in the background I could hear two men full of rage. Shout screaming in anger.
I'm not overly religious but anything worth a try so I said aloud...
"Arch Angel Michael, I call upon you to remove these two."

That was it. They were gone just like that. I thanked him and my spirit buddies happily chatted away.

People need to get with it that when we trip especially in silence we are opening up to things that are happening all around us that we are usually blind to.
These enraged ones were probably angry because they knew what I was about to do.
These ones telepathically inject thoughts and visions into our minds. If they are within our feild they can mess with your trip. Example have you think/see yourself killing your wife as above.
The worst thing you can do is become fearful because they use that negative energy against you. You give them your power in fear.
Maria Sabina doesn't do all of that praying for laughs.

Edited by Justintime, 01 April 2022 - 11:36 PM.

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#15 FLASHINGROOSTER

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Posted 02 April 2022 - 03:39 PM

 

 

People need to get with it that when we trip especially in silence we are opening up to things that are happening all around us that we are usually blind to.

 

I think that effect can work the same when immersed in nature as well.


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#16 RiseUp

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Posted 02 April 2022 - 07:47 PM

Hearing voices is common on trips I've had.

Something that occurred to me the other day was the female voice I heard was in my right ear. Behind my right ear. Not sure if anyone else has recognized this or not.

 

When i took my large dose I did have a suicide moment, but it wasn't intense. I mean the outside was intense as fuck, but the focus on the weapon was mild. It was saying, "I'm here". Still creeped me the fuck out though.


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#17 Justintime

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Posted 05 April 2022 - 12:49 AM


Just relax and talk back.
It could be a relative who has passed over or some guide/protector spirit.

I spoke with the spirit of tobacco one time. Very chill conversation.

There's a state of being we can achieve where we can speak to the universe as a consciousness.
Those conversations I've had were a little different. Basically you breath in knowledge and breath out understanding.

If the voice is coming from outside of you that's a good sign that the owner of the voice is benevolent because they don't want to infringe, they don't trespass on you the way a malevolent energy does.
The malevolent energy will be very subtle because they hide as all parasites do. They don't want you to know they are there. So usually instead of announcing their presence by allowing you to hear them they will silently direct your thoughts from within which is done by injecting/uploading an instantaneous information package into your mind which happens so quickly that people assume these thoughts that arise from seemingly no where to be their own.
This is why the old sages say "Know thyself"
Because if you truly have dominion over your mind and vigilance. The keeper of your house. You will know who you truly are and be able to sense when an intrusion upon your mind is taking place.
Example.
I was sitting in silence when an inner voice piped up and suggested a thought that was incongruent with how I would usually consider the way of things.
( The earth plane is full of disembodied spirits that are still attached to earthly desires, they float about trying to attach to the living in order to experience those physical sensations- alcohol, drugs, sex, malice, violence, greed, riches, power. They're in limbo.)
So they'll sidle up to you and try their luck. They are looking for a congruent human to merge with. If they find someone who has no mental discipline who can't tell them apart from their own thoughts they attach themselves to that person. It's a parasitic energy feeding on another's energy and experiencing the earth plane through them. Like playing a video game in a way. They coerce and entreat and prod the person this way and that, distracting them from what could be their highest action.)
I zeroed in on the source of that thought with vehement focus. Looking within. It literally squeeked like a rat and gtfo at speed.
Realise. We're like cats and these things rats/mice.
Be a cat you know. Not a lazy one that lays there allowing the mice to walk past and help itself to your food bowl. Hunt the fuckers. Roam your mind and chase them out. Let them go find someone who's more ratlike than cat/lion.
Gnome sayin hehe
MEOWWWW!!




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