i ate about 14 dry grams [1/2 ounce] of the shrooms
and also injested about 3 grams of the hash
[ate it too.]
i had this old audio cassette tape of some hindu chants
and another cassette called 'planet drum'
by mickey hart.
i set up my double tape deck to play one after the other and then repeat,
so the music would last all night.
i turned on some mood lighting,
lit some incense
turned off the phone,
bared the doors, closed the curtains
and laid down on my couch,
just listening to the chants and the drums.
at some point in time
my soul left my body and began to travel thru
time and space,
there was an 'angellic' [for lack of a better word] being
that acted as my 'guide',
and it showed me many things
and revealed many secret truths to me.
much of what i learned
the 'angel' told me to never reveal,
and told me no one would believe me anyway,
that i'd only hurt myself if i tried to tell.
so it locked away a large portion of my memory from my conscious access
to protect me.
but i still remember many things
that it said were ok to talk about
although still no one would believe me.
it showed me the entire history of the human race,
it took me back to when life began as some slime on a rock,
and for a million years i lived the life of that slimy rock.
then it began to take me thru a series of incarnations
as various lifeforms as life evolved.
to borrow a phrase,
it showed me a brief history of time.
i saw all my ancestors stretched out like a railroad into the past,
and i saw their abject misery
and heard the cries of a billion lost souls who had suffered in life.
it showed me that we were living in slavery,
but one day we would be free.
as time continued to unfold before my eyes
it began showing me the future,
my own personal destiny as well as that of the universe itself.
i discovered that before i was even born
the things that would eventually kill me
had already been set in motion,
that my death had always been part of my destiny
and there was nothing to fear.
i saw that life and the universe as we know it is an illusion,
just patterns of energy dancing before the eye of god.
i saw that the purpose of the universe
was to become The Greatest Story Ever Told
that life was drama
and we are actors playing a part,
with each of us having our unique thing to do.
i saw that some people play bit parts,
making a brief appearance and die young
or remain a part of the faceless masses,
the audience that watches this drama
being acted out across the time-space matrix.
i saw that some people had leading roles,
and i saw that each of us
got to take turns
playing out each and every role over time,
re-living life in the same vessel so that
each of us knew what it felt like to be a king,
a beggarman, a thief, a cripple, a woman, a child, good, evil, wise, foolish,
a proud father, a grieving mother, a widow, a slave, etc.
we played each role so we could understand that part of the drama fully.
so we could see for ourselves what was right
and what was wrong,
life was an education,
it teaches us.
the bibles have it all wrong,
god doesn't make up rules
and shove them down our throats,
he lets each of us live and learn
so we can discover why
it is better to be good than to be evil,
why one should not murder,
why one should not chase after false gods, etc.
i saw that some religions had come close to the truth
but not one was really right,
the truth was much greater than they thought-
for we are actually what they claim jesus was,
we are god become flesh,
a splinter of the universal conciousness
that will soon return from whence it came,
to be reunited as one but yet many.
i could not stand to look directly into the light that surrounded god,
it was far too bright
but i saw from a distance what looked like a halo
around a star
but as i got closer i realized that
the halo was actually billions of 'angels' dancing
around the light of god
and they were singing to him
their love and admiration.
and i could see the world
and its' problems
and so could the 'angels'.
and i saw angel after angel coming before god
and pleading for him to send them back
so they could help the people of the world.
even though they knew that to become flesh
was to endure agony and death
but their love was so great
that they leaped at the chance
to suffer for others.
and so they threw themselves into the world
and became flesh,
entering the world as a baby
to help work out
the plan of god here.
i saw pure love,
it radiated from god like
i could feel its' soothing warmth
and knew then how utterly safe i was.
and then my guide told me that
i had to go back,
just as i saw the angels doing,
and that i had some work to do.
that god would always be at my side.
i came back
and here i am.