Paradox
©
Fisana

Jump to content


Photo
- - - - -

Court-ordered Piss-tests


  • Please log in to reply
38 replies to this topic

#1 drugs!

drugs!

    FUCK hugs.

  • Expired Member
  • 29 posts

Posted 14 December 2007 - 01:30 AM

What are all your best secrets for passing a drug test that is oh, say, January 8th?

#2 ShroomGuerilla

ShroomGuerilla

    Myco-Monkey

  • Expired Member
  • 1,424 posts

Posted 14 December 2007 - 01:36 AM

get a whizzinator for x-mas

The Original Whizzinator - HOME - Pass Your Drug Test!

best of luck :rasta:

#3 eastwood

eastwood

    Dragon Bait

  • Honorary Former Staff
  • 4,612 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 14 December 2007 - 02:15 AM

Yeah the wizzinator is an option.In situations like that its best just to stop for a bit.Is this for probation ? They send there piss to the lab meaning ya cant just drink alot of water an go in there an piss out water because the test will come back inconclusive and then that will bring more heat to your situation.What was your sentence suspended under meaning if ya fuck up how much time do ya have to go do?

Most probation officers will peter hawk an actually watch the piss come out of your dick. Dont get me wrong you can flim flam any piss test but keep in mind these people are aware of peoples intentions of trying to beat piss tests.

Good luck

#4 Dr_T

Dr_T

    Random Dude

  • Expired Member
  • 1,939 posts

Posted 14 December 2007 - 05:25 AM

In situations like that its best just to stop for a bit.



Agreed. There's no good way to beat a piss test if it's done properly. Now, the people doing this to you could all be maroons who couldn't make microwave popcorn if they read the bag- but don't bet on it. Especially don't bet your ass on it.

If the alternative is a loss of freedom, going dry for a month really isn't that bad. It might give you a new perspective on getting high, even. And that first bowl after your successful test- well, sit down somewhere after you take the first hit. You won't want to stand up for a while.

#5 HUMBLE STUDENT

HUMBLE STUDENT

    Keeper Of The Spores

  • Expired Member
  • 728 posts

Posted 14 December 2007 - 06:58 AM

bogus advice removed

#6 Tennessee Jed

Tennessee Jed

    his Crappieness

  • Expired Member
  • 35 posts

Posted 14 December 2007 - 07:12 AM

if u have a court ordered piss test and u get caught trying to alter the results, u could be charged with a felony. keep thet in mind when ya studying fer yer test.

#7 culturecounter

culturecounter

    Former Member

  • Banned Member
  • 39 posts

Posted 14 December 2007 - 01:46 PM

more bogus advice removed.

#8 Dank Side Of The Shroom

Dank Side Of The Shroom

    VIP Member

  • Expired Member
  • 3,447 posts

Posted 14 December 2007 - 02:05 PM

ur best bet is to stay clean. all the masking agents can be detected in drug testes. u want real piss like the wizzinator or pay someone clean to piss in a bag for u u can sneak in. not worth going to prison for being stoned.

#9 Dr_T

Dr_T

    Random Dude

  • Expired Member
  • 1,939 posts

Posted 14 December 2007 - 02:27 PM

not worth going to prison for being stoned.



Word. :bow:

#10 syvel

syvel

    Mycotopiate

  • Expired Member
  • 225 posts

Posted 16 December 2007 - 12:45 PM

If it's not till the 8th, 1) stop smoking *now*, 2) take goldenseal for the next two weeks, and 3) don't resume any use of 'drugs' until after the test.

don't tempt fate by using any.

#11 wildburr

wildburr

    Wildest of Burrs

  • Honorary Former Staff
  • 4,657 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 16 December 2007 - 01:14 PM

I have used a product called Ready Clean many times and have never failed a piss test yet. You should quit doing any drug for at lest 2 days before the test, drink the Ready Clean about 1 to 2 hours before the test and piss at least twice before you take the test. Ready Clean has no masking agents, it just overloads your system with vitamins. The only drawback is the stuff costs $20-$30 a bottle depending on where you buy it. You can usually find it at smoke shops or certain liquor stores. Good luck with your test.

#12 Fresh Brewed

Fresh Brewed

    Seeker

  • OG VIP
  • 1,236 posts

Posted 16 December 2007 - 01:58 PM

Not advocating this, but I have heard about people cathing themselves with a urinary catheter and filling their bladders with someone elses clean urine. It would take a massive incentive for me to do this myself, but if the alternative was prison, I might think about it.

#13 culturecounter

culturecounter

    Former Member

  • Banned Member
  • 39 posts

Posted 16 December 2007 - 02:05 PM

-IT`S NOT HARD TO STAY CLEAN FREEDOM IS WORTH MORE THAN GETTING HIGH WHY STAY UP AT NIGHT STRESSING YOU COULD ALWAS DRINK A BREW INSTEAD

#14 lionelfire

lionelfire

    Keeping on

  • Expired Member
  • 444 posts

Posted 16 December 2007 - 04:02 PM

If you want to pass, take vitamins, drink plenty of water, and stay clean from now til after you pee. Everything else is a gamble with your freedom. I'd rather go a month without than wager my freedom. Heavy MJ users can urine test positive for up to 60 days after last use.

#15 Dr_T

Dr_T

    Random Dude

  • Expired Member
  • 1,939 posts

Posted 16 December 2007 - 07:22 PM

Not advocating this, but I have heard about people cathing themselves with a urinary catheter and filling their bladders with someone elses clean urine. It would take a massive incentive for me to do this myself, but if the alternative was prison, I might think about it.


Now, that's addiction.
Anybody who says they aren't addicted to weed needs to read this and think about it- would you shove a tube up your dick, and then pump your bladder full of somebody else's piss- to get high? Not me, no way.

#16 eastwood

eastwood

    Dragon Bait

  • Honorary Former Staff
  • 4,612 posts

Awards Bar:

Posted 16 December 2007 - 07:28 PM

I wanted to post that Dr.T but was waiting.. glad someone did.Drugs! never answered any of these posts.As all we like two way conversation with the poster. We are trying to give advise and would atleast like some feed back on what he thinks.or maybe the ol PO done snatched him up ? who knows cause he has not given any feed back.

#17 Hippie3

Hippie3

    DUNG DEALER

  • Founders
  • 40,642 posts

Posted 16 December 2007 - 08:30 PM

maybe he's busy.
there's no time limit .
he's not even required to reply at all,
he asked his question,
maybe now he's waiting to hear
some decent advice
instead of so much BS.
this thread is just pitiful so far,
the only decent advice is the whizzinator-
the rest of it is pretty much nonsense
and unsolicited advice on how to run his life.
i ought to issue about 4 or 5 infractions
and about as many warnings
for all the bad info and off-topic parental advice.
either help this fellow with some good solid advice
on how to beat a drug test in a little over 3 weeks
before he ends up in jail
or pass by silently to another thread.
:horse:

#18 Dr_T

Dr_T

    Random Dude

  • Expired Member
  • 1,939 posts

Posted 16 December 2007 - 08:37 PM

Sorry Hippie- didn't mean to get off-topic. And really, I thought the point of the question was to get advice, is why I gave it.

I've taken drug tests in the Army, and civilian ones as well. I've done a lot of research on the subject, and it's my opinion there's really no good way to beat it. Stay clean is the only way.

The whizzinator might work, I guess. And giving yourself a catheter, and pumping yourself full of clean piss might too- but both of those assume the test isn't being run properly. If the testers know how to do the test right- which includes doing it randomly, it's not going to be beaten. (Unless you wear the whizzinator all the time, maybe).

If you've been tested, you know this. I'd hate to see anybody go to jail for drug charges, that's all.

EDIT- to sum up, stop now, stay clean. Exercise and drink plenty of water.

#19 Hippie3

Hippie3

    DUNG DEALER

  • Founders
  • 40,642 posts

Posted 16 December 2007 - 08:40 PM

it's not random,
he already knows the date,
Jan. 8
he asked for advice on
HOW TO PASS A PISS TEST-
saying
"you should have stayed clean"
is not a useful reply.

#20 Dr_T

Dr_T

    Random Dude

  • Expired Member
  • 1,939 posts

Posted 16 December 2007 - 08:43 PM

Ok.
It's the best answer I have... I'll move along now.




Like Mycotopia? Become a member today!