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Alcoholic Ayahuasca


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#41 phalanx

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Posted 07 March 2005 - 09:12 AM

Had another cool trip with 1.5g rue and 25g of another batch of leaf that was more potent.

It had loads of vine character. Changed into a british fisherman and some fat british guy who seemed to be a doorman and liked wearing black. I was briefly a middle aged woman.

I had been watching laurence of arabia and started turning into some of the characters but they lacked depth. They were only shroom-type acting.

As it got more intense I turned into a lovely girl who seemed to be tripping on aya herself!!! I could see with golden violet metallic aya vision putting an exotic sheen over everything. Drinking purified water felt wonderful and significant. Aya loves water. It is mad to think that there may be a girl somewhere who was turning into me as she tripped!!!

The main part of the trip revolved around vision which is a hot topic in my recent trips. I realised I am out of focus and need to be corrected. I momentarily managed to fix my eyesight and could see with amazing clarity, but I lost it again. I got the feeling I could change things simply by being able to see them the way I wanted them to be, instantly. But i would need focused aya vision, alas.:)

There were loads of highly erotic shameless fantasies. I learned how to look at women in a certain way that made them horny instantly. I've forgetten it now, shit!!!!! I also keep getting loads of incestuous, gay and s&m master fantasies which freaked me out at first but I'm used to it now. Also fantasies of raping women and exhibitionism. I have leaned to accept these aspects of myself and feel more relaxed about them.

This phase of imagery only started when I went up to bed. I think I may trip around my house with my eyes open in future. The trip has a tendency to go a bit psycho with eyes closed. Maybe it is just repressed fantasies being released in a violent burst and I suppose it is ultimately healthy.

I learned how to become disembodied by letting go of everything and I felt my body begin to melt away. I got worried and solidified again. Allegedly:)

That was my trip, quite a ride. Despite getting some of the coolest features of vine, I'm still not entirely sure rue is as good. I'll need another 5-10 trips or so to make up my mind. It may be lacking an extra kick. Tetrahydroharmine?

#42 phalanx

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Posted 07 March 2005 - 09:31 AM

Dammit, just noticed I spelled "Alcoholic" wrong in the thread title. Argh!

#43 Hippie3

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Posted 07 March 2005 - 10:38 AM

repressed fantasies being released in a violent burst and I suppose it is ultimately healthy.


if
and only if
one doesn't not dwell on
or indulge the fantasy further.
just touch, accept, let go and move on.

#44 phalanx

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Posted 07 March 2005 - 10:57 AM

It is dangerous territory but it is good to have all these psychological tensions released in harmless fantasies than to come out in real life. The only harm that can be done is feeling really guilty about it and not being able to accept it. Or acting them out, of course. There was plenty of other non-sexual fantasy violence on a grand scale.

I feel back to my normal self today and I think it was therapeutic. I feel relaxed and in good humour despite all the nasty things going through my mind last night. Aya works in strange ways.

#45 phalanx

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Posted 07 March 2005 - 02:25 PM

I think I know now why I occassionally get these ultra-violent aya trips. It is my subconcious mind letting off steam.

I when I first started to get them I was totally shocked that a nice guy like me would have such thoughts, and I felt very guilty about it. I realise now that I get them BECAUSE I am a nice guy and wouldn't do these things in reality. It is all pent up energy being released in a safe and socially acceptable way, relaxing and purifying my soul. I thought the brew was trying to turn me into a psychotic maniac, but actually it is trying to stop me from becoming one. It was a purge!

I now see the wisdom of it. I reluctantly wrote out the full details of my trip but I'm glad now that I did. It helped me realise what is happening. I recently started threads about picking up women and self defense against scumbags. It all ties together. All my frustrations were released in a violent explosion of imagery and I feel much better for it now.

I don't want my experience to put anyone off Ayahuasca. It was only trying to cure me but I didn't understand. Now I do. Thanks Aya!!!:)

#46 Hippie3

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Posted 08 March 2005 - 10:21 AM

we all have a dark evil side to us,
that is part of being human
and even god.

#47 phalanx

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Posted 08 March 2005 - 06:27 PM

It reminds me of the part in Laurence of Arabia where Laurance wants to go home. He feels very guilty because he executed a man and ENJOYED it. He discovered a part of himself that he never knew existed and it shocked him.

Later on in the film he is shocked and terrified by his own bloodlust and fears he is going insane. He couldn't reconcile his image of himself as a nice guy, and his enjoyment of the thrill of killing mercilessly.

I've had to go through a similar process with my dark trips but I think I am finally accepting it all. The full range of human evil is inside all of us, looking for a chance or excuse to escape.

Anyone think the word "escape" looks like a leopard? I'm on aya now. Trip is low potency, probably built up a tolerance to rue after taking 4 trips in the space of a week. I got some appetite for this Ayahuasca. The word looks like jungle. Tigers and lions and stuff. Jaguars too. Gets hard to tell them apart when the are all morphing. Eyes are cool, glassy like marbles, makes everything look royal. I better shut up now.:)

#48 phalanx

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Posted 09 March 2005 - 08:54 AM

I think I have had enough of rue now. I didn't get a proper therapeutic trip, one that leaves me content for a few weeks with no desire to drink the brew again. After 4 rue trips I didn't get it. 2 were very potent but still not satisfying. I'll use vine next time. I got better therapy from moclobemide. I'll take a break from aya for a while to recuperate. Best not to be tripping too much.

The word escape still looks like a leopard. Or is it a cheetah or jaguar? Anyone who can spot the feline and describe it wins a round of applause.

#49 Guest_pissybee_*

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Posted 09 March 2005 - 09:19 AM

It's a jaguar!!!

#50 phalanx

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Posted 26 March 2005 - 09:22 PM

I brewed 40g of vine today with alcohol and it blew my ass off. I didn't even get around to drinking the pv I had prepared. Yet I tripped!!!

The vine ground right down to a powder without loads of coarse fibre sitting in it like usual. Very strange. I put it in a pot with 50ml bacardi and 300ml purified water.

I let it heat up to low 70*c's. Alcohol boils at 78*C and I didnt want it all to evaporate out too quick by boiling the brew. Then I let it brew for 40 mins.

I filtered through a medium sieve only and did a second extraction the same way.
Then I did a third cold rinse which i siphoned and got a decent yield of crystals.

The reduced brew had heavy sediment and was very bitter to drink. Made me retch a few times which is unusual for vine. It made my tongue go a bit numb like moclobemide. This was my first suspicion i had taken a very potent dose.

After 1 hour, I was quite spaced. I had a good body buzz, head buzz, light-headedness, and felt a bit sick. My vision was altered in a subtle but distinct way. Hard to describe. Similar to rue but different.

Over the next 40 mins I had 3 puking sessions. That is when the hallucinations started. I went out for air and the clouds turned into various things. i saw pictures in my marble fireplace. When i looked at the reflection in my tv screen (off), I saw things which werent there.

after all the puking, I was exhausted and went up to bed. I tripped well for about 30-40 mins. I kept seeing people of all sorts. Buildings in distant lands. Houses, fancy rooms, cars.

The hallucinations were weak in the sense that they were semi-transparent with weak colouring. However, their clarity and detail was ASTOUNDING. It was like looking at reflections in black marble or on a tv tube. Crystal clear.

in one vision, I was in a room with a tiled floor. i knelt down and looked at my reflection in a black tile. I could clearly see myself and the rest of the room. Now that is what I call clarity.

In another, I saw the back of the head of a man with long black hair, spanish, standing outside in a town square in the sun. I could clearly see the sunlight reflecting off his hair. i could see the individual hairs. The detail was exquisite.

On one hand i am disappointed i never got round to drinking the pv, but on the other i am thrilled to have experienced a proper pure vine trip for the first time.

It was great to be able to drink caapi without the yucky vinegar taste. It was just caapi tasting like it should.

#51 phalanx

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Posted 26 March 2005 - 10:30 PM

It is 7 hours since I dosed and i still don't feel back to normal. I have eaten some food but can't face anything heavy, and I am still a bit queasy. That is unusual at this stage.

Tap water tastes like shit when on aya. I have to drink the purified water i brew with. My tap water tastes fine when sober.

I fell asleep for a little while after hallucinating in bed. When I got up, there were strong tracers all over the place wheneve I moved my head. Similar to rue but different. I also saw spots before my eyes which stayed still when i turned my head. odd experience. it wore off after 10 mins or so.

i was very cold in bed. Kept shivering.

Who is going to try my method? Does nobody trust me? :)

#52 phalanx

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Posted 27 March 2005 - 07:58 AM

I dosed at 8.30pm and couldn't get to bed until 5am. Got up at 11.30am. I feel tired but in good humour. I still don't have much of an appetite but all nausea is gone now thank god.

The dose felt toxic. I don't think I would ever do it again intentionally, but I am glad to have had the experience. It was worth it as a once-off. Nausea and hallucinations seem to go hand in hand with pure vine/rue trips.

I used a brand new batch of vine for yesterday's brew. It is the most potent batch I have had since my very first vines nearly 2 years ago. And I have 500g, yippee!!! I have previously taken up to 80 and 90g doses of vine with no hallucinations or such toxic effects. Maybe I brewed it wrong or it was just weak.

My vines are dynamite! I am delighted to have decent vine to work with for future alcoholic experiments. I will probably use only 20-25g next time. I can't wait to combine it with leaf.

#53 Hippie3

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Posted 27 March 2005 - 08:12 AM

very interesting experience.
why does you say
toxic ?

#54 phalanx

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Posted 27 March 2005 - 08:31 AM

I say it was toxic becuase of the unusually persistent nausea, puking and unpleasant dizzyness. Usually puking totally cures all nausea and I feel wonderful. It didn't happen in this case. Also, even when the effects were wearing off, I was unable to eat properly. Usually I eat like a horse straight after coming down.

It seems that if you want a pure vine trip, you have to put up with a level of nausea that is more persistent than is usual, but not actually more extreme now that I think about it.

Remember, I never drank any pv with the vine, and it is usually that which causes all the nausea.

#55 I_am_me

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Posted 27 March 2005 - 01:28 PM

Its been said in many things I've read about harmala alkaloids that the dose of the maoi to create hallucinations is a really high dose, way beyond what one would need for maoi reactions.

Although 40g of vine doesn't seem to be a lot bigger than a usual dose, maybe you got yourself some great potent vine there. :)

#56 phalanx

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Posted 27 March 2005 - 01:51 PM

A vine trip was the last thing I was expecting on 40g. I thought you needed at least 100g+. It goes to show how much potency can vary.

#57 dukex

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Posted 03 April 2005 - 07:41 PM

phalanx I might have to give this method a try next time, sounds very interesting.

Peace...

#58 phalanx

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Posted 03 April 2005 - 08:21 PM

phalanx I might have to give this method a try next time, sounds very interesting.

Peace...


Give it a go but read this first:

I had 2 duds in a row. On Friday I took 25g of the same vine piece brewed the same way. It was still too strong! After one hour I felt fine. Started drinking pv and it was a nightmare. Took me ages and i puked too soon. An excessive dose of caapi seems to make you much more susceptible to nausea and puking when drinking the pv, even if you feel ok beforehand. The caapi buzz for me doesn't peak until about 1.5 hours after dosing.

Tonight I took 20g. Still too strong. Got nauseous dizziness which made me puke too soon again. Out of curiosity, I tried brewing the pv like the caapi. I knew it was a dud when drinking it. It was far too easy to drink, no bitter dmt. Yet it still made me puke.

I'll probably go 10-15g vine next time. The potency of this vine is nuts. Excessive caapi seems to have all the dangers of rue. The mainly caapi trips/buzzes I've been having are sort of therapeutic in themselves.

#59 dukex

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Posted 03 April 2005 - 08:28 PM

Where have you been getting your caapi and viridis ?

Peace...

#60 phalanx

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Posted 03 April 2005 - 08:37 PM

I usually order from maya ethnobotanicals because it is nearer to me and I don't have to deal with customs hassle with stuff from the usa.




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