growing if you have children in the home
Posted 29 October 2005 - 10:29 AM
Posted 29 October 2005 - 10:41 AM
Posted 29 October 2005 - 10:46 AM
Don't tell your kids nothing.
They talk constantly and
they remember everything.
Now they even have cops
in school asking the kids
if they ever seen daddy with
this, or that.
Posted 29 October 2005 - 11:04 AM
Posted 29 October 2005 - 11:08 AM
My best friend since childhood allows me to use one of his spare bedrooms for all of my hobby's<he has no children>.He's happy he doesn't have to buy anything anymore,and i'm even more happier that i have zero worries about johnny law and my son asking me all kinds of Q's.The only thing that i have in my home are me/cactuses!!!
Posted 29 October 2005 - 12:15 PM
We have chosen a path to walk and it was our choice to make. Most all of us have rationalized it to be a perfectly acceptable thing to do, and perhaps it is, for us.
But when I look back at what my personal choice has cost me, I regret ever taking that first toke. I turned down art scholarships because I just wanted to hang out and get high and didnt want anything more to do with school. When the airforce called and said they liked my grades and my aptitude for airplanes and they would like to put me throught the acadamy and make a pilot out of me, I told them that there was no way I could get up as early as they do. They never called again.I kept smokin'.
Now as I wish I could explore the artistic side of my personna, I have lost the ability to create sellable wares due to not practicing for 25 years and just getting high.
And as I stand next to the airbase here and watch f-16's blast off into the great sky a tear wells up in my eye as I think that could have been me but I was more into getting high when they called. Dont even get me started about missing out on the space thing.
And as I crawl into another scummy furnace to clean someones crap out of it all I can think of is why the hell am I doing this, I was meant for so much more. I could have been the engineer in the nice office designing them instead. But I chose to get high instead of go to college.
I guarantee that I would have been a much happier person if I had not discovered drugs. But when I was a kid no one realy understood what the drug sceen was about, or what it cost in the form of lost potential, and there was no education about it for our parents to draw from to keep us away from it.
And as I now take all the experimental pills and injections to hope I fall into the 40% that have had their hepatitis beat back to a near cured state by them I wish I had never put that needle to my vein, over and over and over.
Drugs? Hell ya man their great! Love them! Wish I had some.They have done so much for me my whole life.mmmmmmm yea baby. << (being highly sarcastic)
Please do everything you can do to keep your kids drug free, there are so many more opportunities open for clear minded drug free people. They're fun and all that but the cost can easily and quickly rack up to preportions that few of us really understand.
Im betting no one here ever wants their kids to hear from their doctor that theyre going to die in a few years because they chose the high life and at some party when they were all messed up they let someone shoot them up with a dirty needle because it looked like it was so much fun, and they kept doing it because it DID feel so good.
Well I need to take my morning hand full of Ribavirin and a shot of Pegalated alpha 2 interfearon ( which really makes me quite sick most of the time) and hope that the pain in my liver will go away soon.
Posted 29 October 2005 - 12:36 PM
but it seems possible that your abuse of drugs
was just a symptom of a deeper problem
and even if you had never smoked pot
you life might have been the same or even worse.
it was a lack of self-discipline that kept you down,
and drug users aren't the only ones lacking in that area.
plenty of sober losers in the world too.
just easier to blame the dope
than to admit a personality flaw.
Posted 29 October 2005 - 01:11 PM
this may go a little off topic:
I smoked all the way through high school, then all the way through 4 years of the Navy. As did many of my peers in the Navy.
I know of many pot smokers, not potheads, that are very successful, very intelligent, very motivated, some would even qualify as workaholics although I don't consider that success.
I let my mom talk me into joining the Navy because I didn't know what to do with my life and I needed discipline - discipline I didn't learn at home - and I have mixed feelings about it now, as I look at it as four years of my life wasted-at least I learned how to play guitar and sharpened my songwriting skills- but four years that led me to where I am now with the wife and children I love. I was the Navy's bitch - the chaplain even preached a sermon about how that is true in bootcamp - and I would have stayed if I hadn't failed a piss test right before I reenlisted, to waste another four years. Thank god for that. They didn't even care about my aptitude really, although I was very good at what I did, I could have been better elsewhere. I have a college degree and a photography business now, but the only thing I know I want to do with my life is to somehow have a positive influence on as many people as I can, and you can't do that flying war machines and bombing people. Maybe I will make money as a musician. Maybe I'll write a book. Who knows. My potential was not destroyed by weed because it doesn't really have that power without your consent.
No matter how much pot I smoked, though, I would never have tried smack, crack, any of that shit that you know you're gonna love too much for that very reason. The only reason I tried pot the first time is because I was drunk, I wouldn't have ever caved in sober or stoned. Alcohol leaves you out of control and if I had continued to drink after trying pot again, I would have left myself more open to peer pressure.
Still, it would have been better if my dad would have just smoked with me like he did later instead of getting all pissed when he found out. It would have been better if he gave two shits about my grades or what my interests were back then and encouraged me to be adventurous, to find a dream and follow it, but he was and still is afraid to leave the comfort zone.
It would have been nice if my mom didn't think buying me a sixpack of beer was a good way to get me to quit smoking weed or if she told me that I shouldn't take whatever job the navy wanted to sling at me.
I can say this . . . I wish I could get rid of my addictive personallity in general and figure out what I want to be. I like weed but I don't like that I go overboard with it. Others don't. I do because I have a hole that needs filling and I'm working on being satisfied, content, happy, without weed before I try to use it again for the benefits that I used to think I couldn't be me without.
Neither shrooms nor acid have ever had a bad effect on me or my life - only positive - but that's just me. Weed's effect on my life is one I let it have. I have no drug offenses and if I did, that would be the fault of the stupid laws not the drugs.
I know there is a way to use weed and other hallucinogens to enhance creativy, commune with god and nature, and have fun responsibly. And there is a way not to. I think I should teach my kids the right way and let them have a real choice.
Posted 29 October 2005 - 01:50 PM
But as I see it , I just fell in love with being high, I wanted to get higher, move to the next level, find the answer to the mysteries of the mental universe, whatever that may be, it just felt really cool and good.
There are reasons for everything, perhaps I would have died in a jet, or been an artist and drove off a cliff drunk one night, or walked into a bus. Who knows?
Im still of the mind that I just loved to get high by any means, not to run from anything, or as an excuse for some flaw, and that made me neglect things I should have been focusing on with more furver.
I can see that my way of looking at this whole drug culture thing is in vast dissagreement with people that have justified the high life as being OK and a good way to live. Hell I have no problem with it either at this point in my life. Alcoholics dont think they have a problem , drinking to the point of drunkenness every day is perfectly fine to them. They can easily justify the behavior. Dopers can justify their habbits in the same rationalle .
And for alot of people it is a perfectly fine way to live and I would be happy to do all the drugs I could get my hands on if doc would let me, and if it wouldnt hamper my getting a job if my new bussiness should not be able to provide for me and mine. ( god , the paperwork.....)
I see you deffending the way of the partier, insinuating that I may have had or have some personallity flaw. I may believe the opposite, my personallity flaw is the same as alot of people. Perhaps the personallity flaw lies with some people needing the crutch to get through life, and take the anti drug stance as an affront to their personal way of life. I certainly dont hold anyones personal choices against them and I mean no offense to anyone.
I'm just throwing out that kids, IMHO should be kept from the drug culture at all cost, drugs are way too cool and fun and intiseing and distracting from so many other good things in life. If I had any kids I would want them to have better goals than finding some new super stinky buds.
That being said, not having kids of my own, just step kids that are grown up, Ill leave this to the real parents out there, and just ask them to not let the kids go down the path I did. Its an easy path to take by mistake and not knowing where the road leads, it can easily go to bad places.
Posted 29 October 2005 - 02:13 PM
i can say much the same as you
but if there is a difference
it's in how i now look at my past-
i refuse to regret anything.
to regret is to miss the point, as well as futile,
in my opinion.
life is an education
and i got one.
so will all of our children.
of course we parents have a strong instinct to protect our child
but there is a limit to how effectively we can manage that.
i buried my son, age 16, because he made a dumb mistake
and unfortunately never got the chance to learn from his mistake.
but i don't regret letting him out of my sight,
or letting him explore the world on his own.
that's what it means to live.
in my mind
a good parent teaches their child how to deal with what will surely be coming their way as they grow older.
one slowly opens their mind, explaining both the world we live in
and why things are the way they are.
we have to tell them what society is, what laws are, what policemen do.
we need to teach them to be smart in their choices,
what consequences and risks are all about,
and ultimately why mommy and daddy chose to
defy society and break the law.
Posted 29 October 2005 - 06:16 PM
I grew up with 4 older siblings. All of them smoked pot from 12+ and Mom and Dad had no clue. I was the only one of the group who wouldn't try the liberty cap tea and the weed when they offered it to me. I waited till after college to really try anything, and am glad I did. But it wasn't because of my parents. My Dad was/is a self-centered bastard who didn't have time for any interests except his own. My mom was overwhelmed with trying to feed and clothe us and didn't have time for any teaching except by example. From her we learned that it is stupid to waste 20 years of your life in an unhappy and abusive relationship and you have to fend for yourself.
3 of the 4 siblings have normal families with kids and are a stable part of the fabric of lower-middle class USA life. The 4th was a heavy and hard drug user but her problem isn't the drugs...its that she is a self-centered evil bitch...always has been white trailer trash...always will be. The drugs, especially pot and mushrooms, wax and wane in all of our lives but none of it was taught by parents, pro or con.
Here is one other point: you would be surprised what your kids know about your secrets. I remember exploring when the parental units were not at home. I have found many interesting socially un-acceptable items and behaviors out from a young age in what they thought was a secure and hard to reach area. In my case it opened my eyes that my parents were very flawed humans just trying to live day to day.
On another board...not mushie or drug related...I read a very long debate having to do with nudity and natrurism in the home where there are children. It had the very same type of concerns here with socially marginal or unacceptable behavior as pertains to what happens in the family unit in a home. There is no RIGHT answer as there are always assholes who will nose into other people's business, even when no harm is being done.
So, carry on debating. I have no kids, so this is all just theoretical to me. I hate to see people in legal trouble for harmless vices when kids accidently blab or are involved in some way. Good luck and stay safe.
Posted 29 October 2005 - 08:27 PM
Posted 31 October 2005 - 10:22 AM
Ok now on to the subject matter at hand. This thread started off in a very positive manner wich is hard to do when it comes to parenting and our children,
no secret im a father of 2 beautiful well manored polite girls. 7 and 11 ohhhh the
I was raised by my mother who is a pot smoker shromer and the such.
it was never realy hidden from me but explained to me in a mannor that I could understand. it was moms medicine and that was that.
my mother learned a very hard lesson one day when I was four. Her and a friend went out picking in the fields one day , and came home with a soda box flat tray heaped with fresh shrooms and set it on the kithchen counter and went to go get out of there mudd covered clothes......................
So as I was looking for a munchy I spot the fresh mushrroms siting on the counter and one thing leads to another I ate a few ...
Mom came in and spoted what I had done because I still had one in my hand with the cap missing due to it being in my mouth.
So mom starts to flip out for abought three seconds and stops.
She then took me out into the living room and sat me down and explained to me what moms meds where going to do to me or at least tried to I was to young to have a clue exactly what halucinate ment she tried and flustered , and then said screw it maid me a PBJ sandwich I ate and to the park we went. It turned out to be an encredable experiance for me . A very mild trip
but it was enough for me to understand why I shouldnt have eaten mommys medicine mushrooms . to say the least mom became very carefull abought her habbits . I was also taught at a yound age that what happens at home stays at home as it is family buisness to be dealt twith by family and not to be dealt with by outsiders, there was no one paticular thing she said or did to make it this way it just worked out in the end to be like this.
My girls have been raised in much the same way save for the fact that I am catiuos to keep my hoobys from them. They dont see any thing to do with mushrooms. As for my herb it is just that to them an herb.
Mind you I am pagan and have a large collection of medicinel herbs that they are treated with on a regular bassis so they allready vew it all as medicine.
Do I smoke in frnt of girls ? NO NO NO ...
Will I at some point you bet your ass I will . Ive got a pair of biboveralls that my mom gave me to give to my oldest when the time is right when i hand her the bibs there will be a joint on top of them with the letter my mother wrote to her when I feel its time to give them to her.
All in all at the end of the conversations it will all come down to the same thing no matter what your view or stand is it will be up to the individual parents to decide what is best for them and theirs , it is no ones place to judge another .
Are there basic securitys to take? Yes but I see it more as a protection against human nature. Were humas we like to converse with one another,
we like to brag abought who we are , we like to oneup the person next to us its our drive for superiority to be the best. My dady grows tomatos my daddy grows hot peppers so hot thell blister your toung..... O yeaaaaaa MY DADDY GROWS MUSHROOMS that make you lose your mind ............
These are the tings to protect your family and your self from .
So out of sight and out of mind....
Then you have your family responcability to keep
Time for play with the kids and Other half of you
Time to work for the family
So hiding some place to do your hobby
Means I would do the work when no one was home.
Out of sight out of mind...
Privacy is key...
And some times even locks are no good TRUST ME.
damn near inexcesable is best :)
BE SAFE FREINDS
Posted 31 October 2005 - 12:52 PM
Posted 01 November 2005 - 07:37 PM
But if I can keep one kid from going down the road I did then maybe my existence here on good ole planet Earth does have a meaning.
I think some of you seem like very good and caring parents and are on the right track, kudos. It has to be a very difficult task to say the least.
I just cant believe there are peeps that will actually take the pro argument for giving rec drugs to kids, theirs or any, quote, in a controlled environment, end quote, rriiiggghhhhtttt............. what kid will leave it at that and not start experimenting on their own? Most wont.
Sorry for my rants but ya know how some peeps here are highly offended by certain possibly blasphemous statements? I feel the same way about drugging kids and animals, very strongly.
Besides, the topic here is about keeping kids from the operations and open feedback was solicited.
Posted 07 November 2005 - 03:18 PM
honored at the way its been debated.
First I love everyone’s views and I aint going to comment on
Second I never saw what Spartan wrote but I’m curious.
Using any kind of drugs with your kids around always plays
on your conscious but I still do it. I smoke weed every night
upstairs in my spare room with the window open and a fan
on, like 2 mins ago. I still enjoy tripping but know when to
pick my times and yes I still do the very occasional Ecstasy
like on sat night at a Robert Plant gig, this time last year it
would have been 3 Es no problem, now I only ever take one
and that’s like every couple of months, so that’s changed in
I don’t grow as much now but had tanks everywhere at one
point, we were tripping everyweek like mad Scotsmen do, 16g
each sometimes then the inevitable happened, 2 of the baddest
bad trips you could every imagine taught my friends and I that
3 to 4 times a year is the best way to do it and its 4g max. So
I only grow when required now not because I love growing, which
means less for my daughter to see.
Your either going to take drugs with kids in you house or your not,
I chose the first and I don’t regret it, as long as you keep your stash
stashed and your smoke blowing in the right direction most of the time.
Only a fool would roll a joint or cut a line or any shit like that in
front of their kids, anyone in that brackets not fit to be a parent, my
My daughters now 10 and what a difference in a year, she knows
everything about everything, she thinks but still knows daddy
loves shrooms, she still points things out in shops and in the
park she’s fascinated by the 10 inch conks growing on trees.
Even my 73 year old mother brings me lovely caithness glass mushrooms,
my collections bigger and my daughter loves them.
I know deep down I shouldn’t, or no it would be better, if I had
no contact with any drugs at all---BUT—now here’s my justifaction-
I work full time, don’t drink, don’t run with other women, don’t
hit my wife, my house is big and almost paid, I’ve got2 medium
cars, holiday abroad every year and I get pretty much what I want in life-
did that sound boastfull? sorry if it did. but that’s my justification, selfish?
I don’t know.
I’m stuck for explanations on how I was feeling when I wrote it but it’s
been on a few sites and I’ve never saw it debated like this before.
Posted 07 November 2005 - 03:31 PM
For example, on a nice cid trip the other night, my kids safe away at my parents house for the weekend, we were able to visit some friends we don't always get to see.
They have a daughter who is maybe 3 years old. We didn't tell them we were trippin', as we kept it to ourselves but did enjoy some smoke with them. Now they had no problem rolling it or smoking it or talking about it in front of their daughter. Even told her not to dump or knock the tray or the person rolling. I was disturbed by this at first, but then relaxed and thought, well, its their kid, and who am I to judge them for what they do around her. Its their life and have every right to live it the way they please. What bothered me more was that she was turning into a really whiney kid when it was 10 pm and didn't have pj's on or in bed. She did this till like 11:30 when I looked at mr. freak and gave him the look, the its time to go look before I put the kid in bed myself.
Its hard to hold your tongue and keep your opinions on parenting to yourself sometimes. But hey, its their kid and their fight, not mine.
And Scotsman, be glad you didn't see Spartans comments, they were worthless and without merit. Glad things are well for your family. You are proof positive that its about how you handle it and what part it plays in the family.
Posted 08 November 2005 - 09:09 AM
I usually go on the assumption that everyone smokes until they prove me wrong. I used to take the opposite view way back when I believed in the easter bunny and satan clause.
not every 'doper' is a crack head living in a trailer park,
some are wealthy successful 'stealth' dopers that live in
the 'burbs as one of the crowd, not even noticed.
Kids are just nosey little buggers and the more they see tht you are hiding something the more they burn to find out what it is. misdirection is one way to go that I'd prefer.
On the defence of the "drug using" parents, I ask this-"how many so-called 'drug free' families are there that use rittalin or some other Pharm company drug, to modify thier kids behavior?"- not to say some dont need it but there are plenty of kids out there that are bein doped up "for thier own good" when a little bit of good parenting would make a better choice.
the subect of children seems to always evoke a stronger response and many of us (myself included) tend to get real defensive trying to justify our conflicting desires of what we want for ourself and what we want for our kids. I've heard it said that it takes the whole village to raise a child but in a great many cases its the rat bastards that just want to nose into your life that say it. they want everyone to conform to thier norm and stay with the herd.
once they are exposed to jr high school they most likely know a lot more of the subject of drugs than they'd like you to know about. hell, they might even have better connections than some of thier parents. But open communication with them is always a good thing for almost all subjects. the key is knowing what they are ready to have explained to them. and then knowing if they'll even listen.
Posted 08 November 2005 - 01:30 PM
thats true, I have hooked my dad up with lots of acid and the only shrooms he's ever had - although he has come thru with cid a time or two :)