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Former military personnel?

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#21 ridder


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Posted 03 November 2003 - 07:41 PM

that sucks jack.. seems eitherway.. money cutting hippie or warmongering asshole.. you get screwed Posted Image

#22 boomer



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Posted 05 November 2003 - 05:01 PM

Quick sharing Erebus of my own feelings...though I haven't posted recently. Many have given excellent advice and I believe you are taking it to heart. I enjoyed our very long conversations back in the chat a couple months back, they were fulfilling to me as well as I feel you.
One particular I will put into perspective for you is this, and remember it is only MY experienece, not anyone elses, maybe not the norm, and definately not yours, but take from it what you will.
You Said...."ack Gordon - I am still considering the military if all else fails in the college situation. Given the right can-do attitude, I KNOW I could pass through boot-camp in any of the branches. It would take a LOT (< and I can't stress this enough) of effort on my part, but I know I could do it."
I want to let you know while on parris island in my time in the marine corp, only 35 of our original 65 platoon members graduated with the platoon on time. Some of them got sent back in training, and many of them got sent home being tagged a failure and inadequate for the corp, how would that failure among other things? Ask yourself that. More importantly than that, I do not exxagerate when I say there were over 100 cases of attempted suicides by marine recruits in the 13 weeks I was on the island. I knew personally of some in my own platoon, one of which tried to hang himself with his belt, and another who drank a large amount of bleech. These people in my platoon (for the most part) had a stable mental health history, some of which may not have, but in the chance where they were stable mentally in their past, they came here and became so alone, so scared, so nervous, so insecure, and so without hope that they attempted to end their own lives, is that a situation you want to be in? These are all questions to ask yourself, not that I am asking you. There are many more stories, of people who wanted out so badly they would have done anything, even faked an attempted suicide that would be a black mark on their record for their entire lives, (for govt jobs and positions of public recognition).
These are all only experiences, and only from the marine corp, but I remind you that they are of people who tried doing something that made them incredibly alone (inside) and hopeless, a surprisingly powerful combination on even the most stable person, nevermind someone with a troubled history. I guess I really decided to reply because you were sincerely reaching out, with the intent of bettering yourself. Anyone in the world of psychology and psychiatry knows this is a rare form of a person, who has a problem and isn't seeking secondary gain, but rather sincerely asking for help, and I take any chance to give any small bit I can to this type of person.
Also, I love your suggestion Oletimer, I did that exact thing at one point in my life when things in life weren't adding up to what I wanted, it helped a lot.
You have to believe what you want to achieve is possible, and you have to believe you have the ability to do it yourself, respect yourself, and great things will happen.
If you haven't already, I recommend reading "The Art of War" by Sun-Tzu and "Unlimited Power" by Anthony Robbins, that is just my personal suggestion, I have learned great things about myself and other people from both of those titles. Ahh, and anything by Thoreau, he was an interesting soul, and believed strongly in the power of a person to improve themselves through time alone.
Anyway, hope this helps....good luck on your journey and contact me anytime Erebus. Sublime13 at meant what I said about our past conversations.
Hope my advice helps you.
When the dark clouds pass over, is when you finally see the glimpse of light. Make the most of every break in the clouds you see, by doing this you create your own reality.
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#23 Guest_erebus_*

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Posted 05 November 2003 - 08:54 PM

Thanks boomer, I enjoyed chatting too, it really helps out when I'm feeling alone.

I am a loner, its who I am. I don't know for sure if the military would badly effect me, or if I would love it to death. It could go either way really.

Of course its hell, absolute fucking hell and nothing could possibly be any more physically and mentally challening. This is the bittersweet part . If I was able to join the military and serve out my 2-4 years or so, I know I would be equipped to handle ANYTHING that I wanted to do.
Also, for some sick reason I dream about wielding a Beretta M9 Military Issue and an M-16. I am not really worried about death. I have and still am living through what any man would call hell.

If my life situation were to bring me to the end of life, than so be it. At least I would have been doing something extremely active with my life. I am tired of being so passive, lazy, stoned all the time, etc.

You're right about the marines, I highly doubt I could handle that. I forgot about it when I said i could handle any boot-camp. The others, so I have read, are much "easier" or at least many more people pass than in the marines. There was a time in my life before being a burn out that I had the energy level where I could have passed through marines with flying colors.

I ran track, played soccer, was always on the go. This level of energy was robbed from me. Stripped from me, taken away by some form of depression. If I had just stood up for myself throughout school, stood up to my parents and for myself, I doubt I would be in this situation. The years of abuse by peers, parents, and myself really left me a cold miserable person.

So the military could either be a great outlet for me, or it could tear me down and snap the last thread of my insanity as I fall deep into psychosis. Its a gamble really.

Thanks for the picture, its amazing. I already miss the blue skies, I'm not ready for months of cold, gray skies of maine winter.

#24 Guest_pbeester_*

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Posted 05 November 2003 - 10:46 PM

Dude, no offense, but i don't think they'd let you in with an attempted suicide in your past and that may be for the better. I thinkyou need to start using ayahuasca regularly and make sure you have a compatible diet. It has been known to increase serotonin in the brain and creates a sense of well being. It may help you because I can tell you suffer from depression or maybe some other similar mental health issue. You should seek help and guidance from someone who isn't going to use you for their purposes(military), but that will help you make the decisions you want, by helping you to see them from another very rational point of view. Hope things get better for you, but remember, life is what you make it.

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