33 replies to this topic

[Throbbinwood]

I decided to go the "fake urine" route out of sheer laziness. Was a piece of cake and I got the job. I'm now making the most money I ever have.

Thanks for the advice.

[shadyfigure]

i didnt know there was such a thing as synthetic urine

[anticheffy]

yup......it works

[fahtster]

you can also get things like the drinks.. ready clean, xtra clean, pure gold,
strip, omni.. the manufact. are detoxify, clear choice, covert labs.
these drinks contain certain herbs that stop your body from burning fat,
thats where the toxins are stored and slowly released through you urine.
thats why a heavier set person takes longer to get the toxins out.
the
directions are goin to say that you need to have not injested said toxins at
least 48 hours before your test. i'd even go three days to be sure. that
means staying out of rooms, cars, etc. where shit is going on. you need to
make sure you get the right one for your body mass. the reg. 'ready clean' is
for peeps up to 200 lbs. 'XXXtra clean' is for cats that are 200 -250 lbs.
and
the 'mega clean' is for peeps above 250 lbs. it's just basically more of the
same drink. the prices at local headshops is going to be $29.95-$49.95.
thats the detoxify brand. 'pure gold' is for 200lbs. 'XXXra gold' is for 250lbs.
and thats the purity brand. 'strip' is strictly for heavier set people. strip is
the covert labs brand.
if you don't have exactly 48 hours of cleanliness,
(they are VERY strict about the two days before hand or they won't work)
like maybe 36 hours. then you are going to want to do something like the
strip no matter what size you are. it's a big ass bottle, so be ready to drink
lots of nasty ass drink.
some basic instructions for the drinks are: two hours
before your test, drink entire contents of bottle.. you don't have to chug it
but drink it rather quick... wait about 15 mins... refill bottle with water and
drink that... allow for at least one hour for the drink to start working.. then
piss at least twice before your test to get anything dirty in your kidneys out.
then you have about 6 hours after the initial first hour that you are going to
piss clean. this is the time that your body stops burning fat. after that you
are dirty again. there isn't anything out there that is going to completely
clean you out as the toxins are stored throughout your body in your fat.
BUT it is a good idea to drink lots of cranberry juice and water a couple days
before your test to help hurry along the process. on the day of your test,
stay normally hydrated.. you don't want to just piss water, the test will come
back inconclusive, which isn't as bad as a positive but they will make you
take the test again and you just blew whatever money on your cleaning
product.
Clear choice makes an 'add-itive' (spelled just like that) that you
put into the cup before you piss, then piss on that. you also need to get it
up to body temp first but thats not very hard cuz it's just a small vial. but it
only works for THC and has very specific instructions.
it should come with
them but if not, you can look em up on the net. just look up Clear choice
"Add-itive". Dr. Greens makes a synthetic urine called 'agent X' it's unisex
and works great except that it needs to be heated up to body temp.. it
comes with a heat pad and rubber band to hold it on.
there is also a temp
reading strip on the front of the bottle so be sure to put the heating pad on
the back as not to screw up your reading... get it between 98 and 100
degrees F and you're all set.
there is also a saliva, blood, or urine product called 'labrion' and also one
called 'purified body cleanser' they only work for one of those tho.. you
can't use one for both blood and urine as they have different instructions for
each. clear choice also makes a shampoo. I'm in the headshop bizz so thats why i know what i know. :)
fahtster

[mindovermycelia]

I decided to go the "fake urine" route out of sheer laziness. Was a piece of cake and I got the job. I'm now making the most money I ever have.

Thanks for the advice.

never had to do it myself, but I am grinning from ear to ear to know my advice has helped you:D:dance::D

correction: our advice, I don't mean to take away from other's responses here!

[cheddar_bob]

to beat a test, get some glycerol, potassium, creatine, b Vits, and 2.5 gallons of water. start the "beat the piss test" protocol 3 hours before the test.

the water will dilute the sample. the glycerol will cause your body to filter out any "impurities" in the water. the potassium will add some electrolites to the diluted urine and the creatine and vit B will ensure that your sample is of the correct color and creatinine level to defeat the checks for a diluted sample.

[BIGBOOMER]

never one dirty piss from me and i smoke EVERY day water is all i ever use 1gal room temp start drinking glasses about three -four hours b4 you go and keep drinking until you go test you will piss every 15 min and BOOM you are clean of thc

[cheddar_bob]

never one dirty piss from me and i smoke EVERY day water is all i ever use 1gal room temp start drinking glasses about three -four hours b4 you go and keep drinking until you go test you will piss every 15 min and BOOM you are clean of thc

and your sample may be deemed "questionable" due to the dilution

[chimp]

Sure fire method is to fill a condom 1/3-1/2 way and tie in knot...safety pin it to you boxers/panties so that it can get the warmth from your body as well as if the sample is being viewed by the tester it is easier to conceal. This costs only one condom and a safety pin and a good friend to loan ya some clean pee. Make sure that the sample person is the same sex as you and if you a girl make sure that the friend isn't pregnant either. It's a surefire bust if u use wrong sex pee. Unless u can afford to pay for fake urine.

[Lefty]

For the risk, cough up the loot for fake piss. Sure shot right there.

[bub]

Drug Testing - Cannabis.com Forums Message Boards...

... I suggest everyone to read ALL of the "stickies" especially the "Sticky: The TRUTH behind drug testing".

"ALL lab samples are "screened". They know that 99% of all of the tests are going to come up negative, so they hit them with the same $1.10 test that an onsite kit uses. If it comes out negative, it's reported negative and never sent to GC/MS. If it's positive, it heads over to GC/MS for quantitive verification."

You can buy these test strips in stores like CVS but they will rip you off.

Home drug test, kit for test marijuana, cocaine, meth
... "The Home Drug Test kits are 98% accurate for testing your system for toxins"

Most people do not know or are consciously aware of how twisted the US probation drug testing system is. You can do lines, get drunk, and/or do almost any other drug BESIDES weed and still easily pass your once a month probation drug test. Fucking retarded.

[mirrorsonthewall]

hey all
maybe a dumb question,
but if the urine isnt going to the lab and
the test doesnt test temperature,
why wouldn't you be able to just use pure water with a little yellow dye
instead?

i would just love to begin blazing again :rasta:

[BillyJack]

I used the fake piss from a head shop a couple times and have several friends that have used it. No need to bother with anything else

[Santiago]

hey all
maybe a dumb question,
but if the urine isnt going to the lab and
the test doesnt test temperature,
why wouldn't you be able to just use pure water with a little yellow dye
instead?

i would just love to begin blazing again :rasta:

There are certain components that will make the test come back as an unclear sample, I believe. In fact, I've heard of people that have had too much water that said they were told their sample was too diluted, and they had to go again. And my PO told me not to drink too much water before hand, even though I have a shy bladder and the PO is watching - not just watching my back either. WATCHING me. I digress.

By the way, my friends and I have had 100% positive results with the expensive drinks ($40 - one use), some of us smoking up until the day of the test.