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The Sexy Sex Thread


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#221 MsBehavin420

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Posted 08 June 2018 - 08:26 AM

I've had sex exactly once on mushrooms, and that's when my son was conceived.

We'd planned on reproducing, so it wasn't a 'mistake' .... the fact that I can tell you that one time was exactly the time the boy was made should tell you how me & the preterite wife's sex life was (almost non-existent) back in the day ...

I guess we split up ... oh ... ten years ago? All the same, the experience sort of turned me off to the idea of mush-fucks.

Now, whenever I trip and even think about sex, all I see is $120,000 + flying through the air and into the ether, which is pretty much where it went in real life.

NOT that I'm bitter or anything.

That money probably would have made me an even worse person (hard to imagine, I know), but I sort of miss it when I think of all the thermal imaging devices I could set up around Alder's place.

Sigh.

:)

soliver

I ended up pregnant with my only when I quit smoking weed bc someone dusted me with PCP. All my friends were talking about how I was probably going to die and that was that. Baby came and I went directly back to smoking..

#222 BecomeTheOther

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Posted 08 June 2018 - 08:40 AM

I'm ready for sex!

#223 Soliver

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Posted 08 June 2018 - 03:13 PM

I'm ready for sex!

 

One of the funniest and truly bizarre posts I've seen on the 'topia. 

 

Thanks for sharing!

 

Who else is ready for sex? 

 

:)

 

soliver (not really feeling ready for sex)


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#224 Alder Logs

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Posted 08 June 2018 - 03:40 PM

Ready to take it on, single handed!


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#225 onediadem

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Posted 08 June 2018 - 03:49 PM

I am ready for a xanax. I gave up sex. People just want to talk, not leave.


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#226 bezevo

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Posted 08 June 2018 - 03:59 PM

i prefer to flee after sex ha

 

My Stalker  once said

 

"  I am going to Keep Trying to KILL You Tell YOU  LOVE Me "


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#227 Soliver

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Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:31 AM

Max Cannon Says:

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#228 Soliver

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Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:32 AM

And before you ask, yes - that's been on my fridge for ... I dunno ... forever?

 

:)

 

soliver


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#229 whirledpeas

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Posted 09 June 2018 - 12:46 AM

LOL  ... all the above posts (i couldn't just pick one or two) :p


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#230 MsBehavin420

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Posted 09 June 2018 - 05:56 PM

I am ready for a xanax. I gave up sex. People just want to talk, not leave.

LMFAO. Effin' right. I think Treach talks about that in a song or 4
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#231 MsBehavin420

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Posted 09 June 2018 - 05:56 PM

Naughty by Nature

#232 MeadMaker

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Posted 23 June 2018 - 06:18 AM

And before you ask, yes - that's been on my fridge for ... I dunno ... forever?

 

:)

 

soliver

1991?

 

 

I am ready for a xanax. I gave up sex. People just want to talk, not leave.

 

Can't we do both?  Sex, then a Xanax. Then we can tell each othezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. :sleep:


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#233 Soliver

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Posted 23 June 2018 - 11:08 AM

'91 sounds right ... it was a good decade for a lot of things.  You could go to a restaurant and people were talking - maybe staring at the (one) TV bolted to the wall, but no SMRT devices.  Alas.

 

I don't trust nouns that begin and end with a 'X' ... it's not natural.  Great marketing, but I wonder who decided to toss the 'N' in the middle as opposed to a different consonant? 

 

Xapax?  Xabax?  Xufux?

 

I'm sticking with Xufux.  You get the mental sedation and the suggestion of copulation, but probably not ...

 

Xufux. 

 

Put it in your mouth.

 

Then go to sleep. 

 

Maybe.

 

:)

 

soliver



#234 onediadem

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Posted 23 June 2018 - 06:46 PM

Xanax cures everything. Could be why they quit giving it to me. Fuckers.


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#235 Soliver

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 11:49 AM

Xanax cures everything. Could be why they quit giving it to me. Fuckers.

 

I've got a handful stashed away for hard times, but I've found that the rebound anxiety that I get from Xanax is pretty wicked, making it easy for me to leave it alone unless I'm seriously freaking out about something.

 

Clonazepam is much gentler on me, overall, but I avoid all that shit unless i'ts warranted.  Benzo habits are easy to pick up and damn difficult to put down IME ...

 

:)

 

soliver


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#236 bezevo

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 01:20 PM

Xanax the quite calm monkey on my back



#237 MeadMaker

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 08:33 PM

So, I just got out of the shower, and I was showing my wife my sexy tight buns.  I said, did I, "I could crack walnuts with these.  Could crush coal into diamonds."

 

She made a face  :wacko: and replied, "Crush colon to diamonds?"



#238 bezevo

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 09:14 PM

poop Diamonds  ha ha



#239 onediadem

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 09:40 PM

So.. show them off. I don't believe it lol.



#240 Soliver

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Posted 25 June 2018 - 09:27 AM

I go to the gym 3x / week - my wife bitches when my shoulders and neck "get too big."  I have no idea why I do it, other than pure narcissism.  And I guess it's good for me, blah blah blah. 

 

Off to the torture room,

 

:)

 

soliver






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