I decided to try today without this mushroom for some reason try and compare
I have been eating this amount or so every day for about 2 weeks aprox...
when I went without b4 my panic attacks came back I cannot remember when they came back but it was ruffly a week
today I wanted some and looked at it and said no it is worth trying to tell the difference but also felt it was stupid of me to go without a medicine that works so well ;) But I can say I am not addicted to this mushroom cause I would have eaten it today I can go witout
now I did have a foggy unclear mind I am always forgetful but I usually can focus I have issues focusing today
and I do not have panic attack but I am feeling butterflys in my chest a bit not a full blown I wanna hide in a hole attack just butterflys nervous about things more stress nervousness feeling
see all this is very variable it is not a clean science experiment could all be placebo but having a food journal can be very important for our health ;)
I also have support and want to heal and am finding ways to heal and reaching out and am ready to heal this makes a big difference in actually healing mixed with lol proper meds I like to call mine food ;) can really change us and help us become stronger maybe help us do things we couldnt do b4
yesterday I remember seeing things a little differently
its hard to explain I know I need to forgive people that have hurt me abused me so I can heal
I dont know why they deserve my forgiveness and this is why I have feelt this pain for sooo long
I had a flash back when I was hugging up to my hubby this morning since I have started taking Amanitas and working with my hubby when I get them I see them diffrent
I was laying there with my hubby cuddled and i looked at him his face wasnt his I clenched up and knew what was happening and I explored this flash back ( I was laying there back in time with my ex cuddled with him and I felt fear but slowly let it go and I seen my hubby again
and the face switched back so I took a deep breath and thought why should I forgive this man?
and I realized this flash back was a loving moment
I wouldnt have stayed with this ex for 3 years without loving him some with not leaving sooner I wanted to try and make it work but realized it would never work I dont need to hate him this much
but with some things it is really hard to forgive and you never seem to forget baggage grrr :)
Edited by wildedibles, 25 November 2012 - 02:24 PM.