I don't mean to say this in any way that would lead you to believe you should be faulted for making some kind of mistake,
But reading just a little of what you posted, it's clear to me that somewhere along the way you took too much,
And you did it without right preparation. That's ok. You'll be ok, I promise! You just revealed a bit more work right now than you're ready to handle.
Those pain pills might not be what you need. Consider that in time.
Here's essentially what happened to you: You had your little doggie nose rubbed into the stain you made in the corner. This metaphor is often what shrooms do. You can learn to expect it sometimes. It was rough, I know. You're sorry. Learn soon that your feeling about it is that you now see what has happened, and the awfulness of it will prompt you to make amends.
Facing that higher awareness, and feeling the emotional weight of it all can be overwhelming. No differently than the fact that everyone must adjust to their own strength (you cannot move a mountain in a day, but with help and effort, you can in time) you have to adjust to the awareness that you can only process so much right now. Make a choice to let that which "runneth over the cup" ... runneth over so to speak. You can do no more.
I wish I was there to help you. To just be present. This is why spiritual ceremonies are often done with presence and guidance. You tapped into a high-voltage line, and felt a shock, like a small mammal that didn't know the power of what flows underneath. Step back, take a breath, find your ground, you'll be ok.
Remember - you're just you - so don't take on too much in one moment. That ugliness you feel is something that takes time to process. Deal with what you can deal with for now, let the rest come later. I know that life continues on with its demands and the clocks that tick away, but tuck this somewhere inside you where you can process through it as the time becomes available.
It will be ok.
Come talk with us some more when you are ready.
We will be here, ready always, and listening.