25 replies to this topic

[Soliver]

Before a serious trip, I have to literally clean my house top to bottom, or else I can't be indoors ... most of my tripping happens outside anyway, but it's nice to chill indoors sometimes ... if the house isn't tidy, my mind amplifies the clutter and it's no bueno, but if it's tidy, I'm good to go.

 

Then the mental house cleaning begins, and that's the stuff.

 

:)

 

I haven't personally found that kratom interferes with shrooms at all, but that's just me - I'm a habitual user, so your experience may vary.  I HAVE found that MJ makes me hallucinate like a motherfucker, so that's sorta fun, as I'm not a big toker by any means.  Each to their own  :)

 

soliver

[Wagenknecht]

Before a serious trip, I have to literally clean my house top to bottom, or else I can't be indoors ... most of my tripping happens outside anyway, but it's nice to chill indoors sometimes ... if the house isn't tidy, my mind amplifies the clutter and it's no bueno, but if it's tidy, I'm good to go.

 

Then the mental house cleaning begins, and that's the stuff.

Oof, I know exactly what you mean. Looking around and going, "this place is disgusting."

[Guy1298]

Darkness is good for an unideal home.

I think it's the fear that teaches genuine love. As bad as it gets, it won't get so bad again, when the message is branded into oneself.

[darci]

I don't mean to say this in any way that would lead you to believe you should be faulted for making some kind of mistake,

 

But reading just a little of what you posted, it's clear to me that somewhere along the way you took too much,

 

And you did it without right preparation.  That's ok.  You'll be ok, I promise!  You just revealed a bit more work right now than you're ready to handle.

 

Those pain pills might not be what you need.  Consider that in time.

 

 

Here's essentially what happened to you: You had your little doggie nose rubbed into the stain you made in the corner.  This metaphor is often what shrooms do.  You can learn to expect it sometimes.  It was rough, I know.  You're sorry.  Learn soon that your feeling about it is that you now see what has happened, and the awfulness of it will prompt you to make amends.

 

Facing that higher awareness, and feeling the emotional weight of it all can be overwhelming.  No differently than the fact that everyone must adjust to their own strength (you cannot move a mountain in a day, but with help and effort, you can in time) you have to adjust to the awareness that you can only process so much right now.  Make a choice to let that which "runneth over the cup" ... runneth over so to speak.  You can do no more.

 

I wish I was there to help you.  To just be present.  This is why spiritual ceremonies are often done with presence and guidance.  You tapped into a high-voltage line, and felt a shock, like a small mammal that didn't know the power of what flows underneath.  Step back, take a breath, find your ground, you'll be ok.

 

Remember - you're just you - so don't take on too much in one moment.  That ugliness you feel is something that takes time to process.  Deal with what you can deal with for now, let the rest come later.  I know that life continues on with its demands and the clocks that tick away, but tuck this somewhere inside you where you can process through it as the time becomes available.

 

It will be ok.

 

Come talk with us some more when you are ready.

 

We will be here, ready always, and listening.

 

[Soliver]

I have nothing to add to the post above - perfectly worded - poetic and true and brutal, much like the day we'll face tomorrow.

 

thanks.

 

:)

 

soliver

[gguuyy]

Appreciate you guys. Great advice, for the most part. Hears my feedback.

The word addiction is best left for those that dont know the meaning at all and judge any being that strays to far from the herd.

I self isolate when i feel things are off. Always have. Its how i learn who i am and how i cope with the beautifully terrifying strangeness of this life we all suddenly find ourselves in. Realizing how much of yourself and your time is put into living how they say you should is all but impossible. Accepting it and learning to give no fucks is just as hard.

I quit opiates a few years back, quit my job, started a small candle buisness with my wife. I lost all my old family and friends not long after i started saying the things we dont say and demanding only authentic relationships. Anything else is toxic.

Now i spend all my time with my wife and our three crazy daughters. I wouldnt change anything. I still have days that are dark, real dark sometimes but knowing that the dark inside me has always given the most insight i no longer resist it.

And thinking that you know something instead of knowing that you know nothing about even the people closest to you let alone a stranger is a problem that is gonna be harder to deal with than some opiate addiction. Just saying… Love you guys and PEACE✌️✊